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6:03 Wither
by Zoomway
Chloe and Jimmy sitting in a tree ...
Actually, Chloe and Jimmy were sitting in a car at Makeout Point. Jimmy said that he'd gotten a hot tip that something weird was going on in the area and it might make a good story.
"By weird you mean two people at Makeout Point not making out?" Chloe asked.
"You're right," Jimmy agreed. "You know what, we're under cover. We should probably be a little more convincing."
So saying Jimmy faked a stretch and put his arm around Chloe. Both sets of eyes darted back and forth a bit and then Chloe asked Jimmy if he was putting a move on her.
Jimmy took his arm away quickly. "No, no. Come on," he said, but noticed Chloe wasn't angry. "You want me to?"
"Okay, look," Chloe began, "I know we planted our flag on the summit of intimate territory back when we were interns ... and it's not like I wouldn't mind exploring that territory again one day, but I just thought maybe this time we could take it a little slower."
"Oh, I'm slow," Jimmy said a bit too eagerly. "I mean slow is great. You'll barely see me move."
They smiled at each other a moment and then WHAM, Chloe jumped into a passionate makeout session with Jimmy.
As Chloe and Jimmy sucked face, a couple got out of their car and began trotting towards the woods. They had scarcely disappeared from view when the girl began screaming.
Chloe suggested they go check it out.
"Oh, yeah. Like we should definitely go check that out in the really dark woods."
"Let's go," Chloe insisted and Jimmy reluctantly joined her.
As they prowled the woods with a bright X-Files flashlight, Jimmy suggested that they should call someone.
"Hello?" Chloe shouted. "Is anyone there?"
"No, I was thinking more like authority figures who carry weapons," Jimmy corrected.
Chloe picked up a discarded t-shirt. "Looks like the naked trail ends here."
As she examined the shirt, a drop of blood appeared. The couple looked up. "Oh, my God," Chloe whispered as the camera panned up to a dead girl impaled on a tree branch.
The next morning at Kent farm Martha looked at two invitations to Lex Luthor's Dark Thursday guilt bash. She said she has RSVPed for two, but Clark declined as the ironic foreshadowing fairy fluttered into the room and smacked Clark with her wand. "Thanks, Mom, but costumes aren't really my thing."
"Besides," he said, swatting at the fairy, "it's not really the place for a reunion, you know?"
"How do you feel about the two of them together?" Martha asked, indicating a newspaper on the counter.
"I don't know," Clark said as he picked up the paper which contained a candid photo of Lex and Lana outside LuthorCorp. The blurb title read, "The Next Lex Girl" and oddly enough it was on the Arts & Entertainment page. Maybe they're slated to be on the next Dancing With the Stars. "It's like they're different people."
"We all have our own ways of moving on. Whether it's about growing up or just surviving."
"Mom, I've lost Lana, Dad, Jor-El (Kyla, Alicia, Pete) ... you don't see me as a different person."
"In a lot of ways I do, Clark," Martha said. "All those things have shaped the person you are now and the person you'll become."
The scene shifted to Luthor mansion where an attractive woman was moving a clothing rack filled with costumes as Lex grilled someone named Grohl over the phone regarding a black box.
"My God," the attractive woman said to Lana as she entered the room. "Your complexion is even more radiant than in the magazines."
Lana, perhaps torn between wondering if the woman was making a pass at her, or ragging on her pronunciation of acne (ac-a-nee) in the Neutrogena ads, turned to Lex with a 'who the hell is she' expression darkening her radiant complexion.
"This is Monica," Lex replied to the unspoken question. "She's helping us pick out costumes for the charity ball. She can help you put something together."
"Well, thank you for coming," Lana said to the statuesque brunette. "But I think I can dress myself."
"Come on, Lana," Lex coaxed. "I thought you'd have fun becoming anyone you wanted."
"Well, I can tell you what I'm not ... the next Lex girl," she snarked.
Lex dismissed Monica and told Lana that he had been raised in front of cameras and knows it can be hurtful. "When I was thirteen a reporter caught me between classes at boarding school. He asked me how I felt about my mother's death. A mic shoved in my face in front of classmates I couldn't stand ... that's how I found out she died."
This was a touching confession from Lex and completely believable. "The press will tear us apart if we let them."
"Well, they're right about the revolving door of women you've had," Lana replied, remarkably untouched by Lex's confession.
"Maybe, but I've never asked any of them to move in with me." Which isn't true since he did invite Helen Bryce to move in with him. It also seemed like Victoria from first season lived there, or at least made herself at home there. Both women had ulterior motives and betrayed him, but Helen was a fiancee and Victoria a partner in crime, so I'll let it pass.
"Lex, I know you. You desire what you can't have," Little Miss Cynic replied. "So what happens when you get it?"
"I'd be lying if I said I didn't struggle every day against my nature to have this with you."
"And I'm fighting mine to believe you."
Lex began to tire of the cat and mouse game. "Lana, I've given you time, I've given you space, but you still don't know what you want."
"And you do?"
"I want us to stop pretending that we're only roommates," Lex said, slamming his cards on the table loudly.
"Lex, I just need to be sure. I always trust people too much."
"No, you trusted Clark too much. Now you can always come up with excuses why this won't work, but you have to decide. You can either fight with Clark's ghost, or you can be with me. I'm done paying for his mistakes." ZING!
The action shifted to Lois's apartment where someone was knocking on the door. An apartment, I might add, that Lois is never shown in during this episode.
Chloe, hitching up her pants, trotted to the door and let Clark in.
"How's life living with Lois?" he asked and glanced around the apartment.
Chloe steered him towards the sofa. "Closer to coffee, further from sanity," said the grateful cousin. "But until Metropolis University reopens ... what is it they say about a gift horse?"
"Stay away from the mouth, which is difficult because Lois uses hers so much."
After bashing Lois, it was time to get to plot exposition metaphors. Chloe told Clark she'd found a body up at Lone Pine last night, but neglected to mention Jimmy.
"Girl and guy decide to make like the birds and the bees, girl gets wings cut, guy buzzes off."
Believe it or not, this wasn't the worst metaphor line in the episode. Nor was "planted our flag at the summit of intimate territory," but you'll know it when you see it.
"You think he killed her?"
"I seriously doubt some freshly minted pimple-popper is physically capable of doing that. I mean the M.O. wasn't exactly ..." Chloe suddenly lowered her voice to a whisper. "Normal, if you know what I mean?"
Clark shook his head and lowered his voice to a whisper, too. "What do you mean?"
"Impaling people in trees in under five minutes isn't humanly possible." What is the record for humans impaling people in trees?
"Unless the guy was infected with kryptonite," Clark said, but with dialogue that was obviously looped in post production to fix or change whatever the line had originally been.
"And that's our only lead and he's still missing."
Clark thought a moment. "What were you doing at Makeout Point?"
On cue Jimmy walked up behind him.
"What's up, C.K.?"
Clark turned back to Chloe and did an awkward "uh-huh" smile.
I have no idea where Chloe and Jimmy had been, but they both entered the living room area of the apartment from the same place, which seemed to be off the side of Lois's bedroom. The bathroom maybe?
Back at Kent farm, Lois was answering an e-mail from the Inquisitor, "Do you want the job or not?"
Lois entered her reply and went to answer a knock at the door.
The dazzling Mr. Queen, who we met at the end of the previous episode, stood awestruck at the sight of the equally dazzling Lois Lane. "Hey," she finally said, breaking the mutual admiration silence.
"Hi," he replied and handed her an envelope.
She read the imprint. "Queen Industries. Must have caught a strong headwind. Mrs. Kent's been waiting for this for weeks. Thanks."
"You're welcome," he said and continued to smile.
"Oh, crap. I'm sorry," Lois said and reached into her pocket. She retrieved a few dollars and offered them to Queen. "Just so you know, with a face like that, you could do a whole lot better than playing errand boy to the rich and arrogant."
"Thank you very much," he replied as he looked at the money. "What is ...?"
"It's a tip."
He looked amused. "A tip? Okay."
"Seriously, aim higher," Lois said and closed the door.
"Listen, um..." Queen said to the door. He peered in, then turned and left.
Lois took a seat back at her computer as Martha descended the stairs. "Thought I heard the door."
"Yeah, your pledge finally sailed in from Queen Industries," Lois said and handed Martha the envelope. There was also looping in this scene because in the director's cut of the scene it was Arrow Industries.
"Where's the man who came with it?"
"The courier? Oh, I gave him his tip and sent him on his merry little way."
Martha ran to the door and glanced out, then returned to Lois with a tight miffed expression. "Handsome? Chiseled features with a smile that could light up a barn?"
Lois seemed amused, but intrigued. "Mrs. Kent, you have a crush on the courier?"
"You mean the billionaire CEO who stopped by to discuss his financial support of my platform? No, Lois, I've never even met him and now I probably never will," Martha said and huffed off.
I'm wondering if there was some scene that got cut where Martha told Lois that Oliver Queen was dropping by because otherwise it seemed rather presumptuous of Martha to take Lois to task for a meeting she hadn't been briefed about, especially since Queen himself said nothing about a meeting either.
Oh, well, we go from the girl who can do no right to the girl who can do no wrong.
Chloe and Clark walked in the woods dodging rescue workers who were looking for the missing teenaged boy. Clark asked Chloe where she found the body.
"Just up the road about a quarter mile." WHOOSH
"Guess I'll meet you there," she said to the guy who wasn't there anymore.
Clark arrived at an area boxed in by yellow crime scene tape.
"You're nor supposed to be here," a woman in a park ranger uniform said.
Clark seemed instantly smitten with her, but for some reason she resembled Michael Landes to me, the guy who played Jimmy Olsen the first season of Lois & Clark. Anyway, Clark lied and said he was with the search party and the woman introduced herself as Gloria with park services.
"They find anything yet?" she asked.
"No, nothing. Have you?"
"It's a big forest. Lots of green," she replied, as if answering a question someone asked in a totally different episode.
Clark, randomly shmoozing, observed that she must get lonely working in the woods alone with no one around for miles.
She walked past Clark. "No, it's what I love about it," she said and turned back to face him. "We haven't met before, have we?"
Clark grinned. "I think I'd remember."
Then he asked her if she'd searched the area by herself.
"A couple of times. Nothing's here that's not supposed to be here."
Clark suggested that one more search wouldn't hurt and scanned with his x-ray vision and he found a skeleton. I mean he found the guy, but the x-ray vision still only shows skeletons. "I found him. Go get help," he said and ran to the skeleton.
At that point Chloe showed up. "Clark, where are you?"
"I'm over here," he shouted as he pulled branches away. "He's alive!"
Then he pulled his hands back in pain. One of the vines had punctured his skin.
"Oh, my God, Clark, you're bleeding." But not for long. The wounds healed almost instantly.
That evening Clark, Chloe and Jimmy, who was wearing a camera, entered the young man's hospital room.
"We don't have much time. His mom's in the cafeteria," Dr. Chloe said as she grabbed the patient's medical chart. "Wow, this guy's pretty messed up."
"Not as bad as his girlfriend in the tree," Jimmy added.
Clark turned on an x-ray light panel. "Hey, what are these things on his lungs?"
Jimmy said 'whoa' and took photos of the x-ray.
Chloe turned around. "Jimmy!"
"What? We have to get this in the paper. We have to warn people."
"We don't even know what it is yet." Chloe said.
"She's right," Clark agreed. "A picture of some weird x-ray isn't exactly page one material."
Are they kidding? A perfectly healthy teenager ends up in the hospital fighting for his life after five minutes in the woods with weird objects in his lungs and his girlfriend impaled on the top of a tree in the same amount of time and they don't think that's page one worthy?
This wasn't a second-hand story. Chloe heard the scream and 5 minutes later the girl who screamed was dead and her boyfriend was missing. How many reporters get a break like that? It's true they don't know what caused it, but neither do the doctors and that's what they'd put in the paper. A photo of the x-ray would also be helpful if other hospitals had dealt with the same mysterious malady elsewhere.
Anyway, this made me wonder what they were even doing there. Are they playing Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys, or is this about journalism? If it's the former, then maybe Chloe and company should change vocations and open a detective agency that investigates the paranormal.
"Maybe we'd have a better picture if I was with you guys when you found him," Jimmy sniped.
"Okay, that was my call," Chloe said. "You're just so much more at home on the streets of Metropolis. I know the woods freak you out."
"No, you know what freaks me out? My girl traipsing through a forest when something like that can happen," he said angrily and pointed at the patient.
Chloe smiled. "Your girl?"
"I mean ... aren't you?"
Clark, who seemed to find the conversation a bit amusing, said, "Guys, this isn't the time."
"Yeah, you're right, C.K. I gotta go take care of something so we'll talk later when we're ... alone?"
Chloe smiled. "'kay."
"Is he always that fired up?"
"You should see him on his tenth cup of fast drip."
Clark made no comment, possibly feeling self-conscious after hearing the term 'fast drip.'
Clark and Chloe exited the room and she asked Clark about his hands. When he said they were completely healed she said, "Which begs the obvious question since even Obi Wan's light saber couldn't Ginsu your super dermis, how could a little vine cut through it?" And there we have the next Bulwer-Lytton winner.
Clark, having been through many a dark and stormy night with Chloe, understood what she said. "I don't know, but I didn't get weak, so it's not kryptonite."
Chloe said she sent a clipping to her botany professor, "But if it's not meteor rock, what else could it be?"
Clark mentioned a greenhouse maintained by Lex near the area where the murder occurred. Chloe cautioned Clark to check his personals (is that another word for privates?) at the door.
Clark entered the greenhouse and found a small pod filled with seeds attached to the stem of a flower.
"You've always had an eye for beauty," Lex said, who just happened to be lurking in the greenhouse, or teleported in silently. "Its Latin name is 'Analay Oveslay Emay, Ummyday.' Beauty that belies a dark nature."
Clark talked about Lex's plants having an agenda and Lex countered with a speech about survival of the fittest and then Clark swerved unexpectedly back to the plot. "A strange vine has cropped up over the ridge at Lone Pine. It's attacking people."
"And so naturally you came to my Little Shop of Horrors to foil my ingenious plot to repopulate the planet with vegetation," he said and actually made me laugh. "Sorry, Clark, but I'm all out of evil. Lana must be a calming influence on me."
"She's never gonna fit in your world, Lex."
"Unlike you," he countered, "I'm willing to do whatever it takes so she does."
"You can keep fooling yourself that you've changed, but the closer you get to Lana, the closer she is to finding out who you really are."
"The days of you showing up unannounced in my home are over," Lex said, but we know it's not true. "You're not welcome here. You found your way in, you can find your way out."
I'll take that bet.
Chloe entered the Talon and found Lana sitting on the steps that lead up to the apartment. "Hey."
"Hi, I guess I was in such a rush to evacuate the dorm, I guess I took a few of your things," Lana said and held out a small cardboard box.
Chloe reached in. "Oh, wow, I was really missing this ... half-chewed eraser and ... your library book, which is two weeks overdue."
"I don't know why, but I felt like I needed an excuse to come and talk to you."
"Excuse accepted. Let's go upstairs."
Lana entered the apartment. "Feels like a lifetime since I lived here." That's because when you left the apartment you became a vampire and had that immortal thing going for a while.
"Well a sprawling seventeenth century mansion isn't a bad upgrade."
"Actually it's getting kind of crowded there," Lana said. "Lex seems to think I'm dragging Clark's ghost around with me."
"And he didn't sign up for a threesome." No comment.
"Chloe, I have this terrible feeling. I feel like if I do this with Lex, I'm going to lose my identity," said the cheerleader turned waitress, turned business owner, turned artist, turned astronomer.
"Well, Lana, if you don't trust him now, that dynamic's not gonna change."
"It's just I keep blaming my trust issues on everyone else and the truth is, the person I don't trust is myself. I keep ... I haven't always made the right decisions and when I realize I've made the wrong ones, I'm too far gone to get myself out"
I'll give Lana props here for being self aware that she's always played the blame game, but finally realizes she's the one who deserved the lion's share.
Chloe said she didn't know if Lex was the right guy for Lana and admitted that he wouldn't be her first choice, or even on her list, "but you can't just sit safely by the water and watch all the happy people splashing around. Eventually you just have to grow some fins and just dive in."
This is usually where I'd give Chloe a hard time for not practicing what she preaches, but since she's 'splashing around' with Jimmy Olsen, I'll give her a pass.
Speaking of Chloe's splashing buddy, Jimmy was prowling around in the woods taking photos. He picked up a large chunk of pine and began carrying it. He might be Log Lady's grandson. He heard a noise and got a bad case of scared bunny eyes.
He turned and saw Gloria right behind him and he dropped his log. Don't blame me for that line, it was in the episode. "You scared the blank out of me," Jimmy said.
"I thought I was the only one who felt safe out here right now."
"No, not safe," Jimmy corrected. "Compelled."
"By what?"
Jimmy smiled. "A girl ... and a photo ... my hope ... her respect."
Gloria slimed closer. "Well you have mine."
"Since a girl made me drop a log." See, I said it was in the episode. "Is there any chance you've seen a vine that's fond of people?"
"I think I can help you find what you're looking for," she said and stroked his face.
"Um, well, I don't know about ... uh, I already got a girl."
Gloria pushed Jimmy to the ground. "I don't wanna be your girl."
"Then what are you doing?" he asked nervously.
"I just want to wrap myself around you."
Vines began to sprout and pin Jimmy to the ground. Then a larger vine entered his mouth. The ovipositor has been popular ever since Alien.
Ironically far from the woods, Little Red Riding Hood showed up with a basket of goodies.
"Mr. Queen," a frazzled secretary said as she followed behind Lois. "This woman does not have an appointment."
"It's okay, she's expected," Queen said, coming down from a handstand. He smiled at Lois and waved off the secretary.
"I guess I really underestimated the mental powers of yoga," Lois said.
"I find the focus benefits my work."
"And apparently your premonitions."
Queen's tone turned cranky. "After your lamentable blunder, it was either this, or a good firing from your boss, right?" he said and then picked up the basket of goodies. "Although, I must say I didn't picture the fruit basket."
"Yes, Mr. Queen, I surmise you're very busy with all your ... bendy stuff, so I'll be really short ..."
"Peanuts?" he asked and offered her the can from the gift basket. "I'm allergic."
Lois took the can and smiled. "I'll try and remember that. Look, Martha Kent is a sterling senator and I would be devastated if ..."
Queen proffered an apple as he had the can of peanuts. Lois glanced at it. "Childhood bobbing trauma?"
"Are you hungry?"
Lois sighed.
"No, okay," he said and sat down and began to cut the apple.
"Look, I realize I was very rude the other day and I'm just trying to apologize."
Queen continued cutting pieces of the apple and didn't respond to Lois.
"And if you hold this against Martha Kent," Lois continued valiantly, "it will be you who is missing out on doing good work with a great woman."
Queen continued cutting and chomping the apple.
"I guess I was prematurely accurate on my opinion of you," she said and turned to leave.
"Miss Lane," he called after her. "If you want my full and undivided attention, why don't you come with me to Lex Luthor's ball?"
"Well, I'm sure downsizing me for an entire evening would make for great sport, but I think I'll pass," she said and turned to leave again.
"If Martha Kent's as amazing as you say she is, it's going to take a lot more than a few minutes of groveling to convince me she's worthy of my support."
"I don't have a costume."
"You don't have a costume, hmm," he said and retrieved a gift-wrapped box.
"Right, the telepathy."
"Here you go."
"Right," Lois said and opened the box as if she thought it would explode. Inside was a blue gown. "Even in my size. Mr. Queen, have you been rummaging through my drawers?"
Hey, I only quote, so don't blame me.
"I have a good eye for sizing people up."
Now back to Smallville.
Clark and Chloe were walking down the corridor of the medical center again.
"You were right," Chloe said. "The pods inside his stomach are seeds." Stomach? I thought it was his lungs.
"Anything from your professor friend?" Clark asked.
"He couldn't identify the species, but he could break down the DNA and it's foreign ... to the planet Earth, which explains why it could cut you."
"It's alien? How did it get here?"
"I don't know," Chloe replied. "But while it can't gestate in our soil, the chemistry of the human body creates the perfect potting mix."
A woman suddenly screamed and exited the teenager's room and instructed someone to find the boy's mother. "I'm issuing a code red."
Clark and Chloe ran up the hallway and looked into the room. The boy was now sprouting vines all over the place. I'm hoping the intern doesn't find the boy's mother or they may have a second code red on their hands.
Instead of breaking for a commercial, they did a jump to Chloe and Clark walking through some other door at the medical center. "We need to stop it," Clark said.
"Not it, Clark, her. The plant's gynoecious (of course). It has a sex -- female."
"It needed a male to reproduce, which is why the girlfriend was killed so quickly."
Interrupting this sweet talk was a gurney being wheeled in containing a body bag. An EMT said it was the park ranger and that a hunter had found the body.
Clark said he could identify the body, but when the bag was unzipped and the woman was a blond, Clark said it wasn't her.
"Salina Adams. She went missing last week. Only female park ranger in the county," the deadpan EMT replied and departed.
"Gloria," Clark said, turned dramatically, stared a moment, then whooshed off.
Still at the hospital, Chloe toddled into the teenager's vine covered cottage and saw one vine spark when it hit an electrical outlet. And yes, if you're wondering, the door was wide open and no one attending him. Chloe grabbed the vine that had touched the outlet and the blackened stem crumbled in her hand.
Clark stood in the woods calling, "Gloria!" I think he got the alias that she's been living under. Sorry, had a Laura Branigan flashback.
"I was hoping we'd meet again," she said.
"What are you?"
"I'm just a girl who likes nature."
"You're not human."
Okay, enough of that, I'll cut to the chase. Gloria claims to be from a planet that was lush and green, but they built steel towers and destroyed it and so Miss Captain Planet tried to redress the absence of green with her little vine trick. The people of her planet branded her a criminal and imprisoned her in the Phantom Zone. That's where she remembers Clark from. He opened the gateway.
Anyway, Gloria says she smells eligible suitors nearby, I guess at Lex's party. Clark tells her she has to stop her evil ways.
"Says who?" she asked and then pushed Clark backward where he was quickly covered with vines. Clark, struggling against the vines, saw Jimmy a few feet away suffering a similar fate.
Now back to the other show.
Lex's party was in full swing as the host moved through the crowd dressed as Marc Antony ... or Caesar ... or Alexander the Great. I'm leaning towards Marc Antony because Lana made a slow motion entrance as Cleopatra. It was almost like it was mocking the prom episode where Lana made a similar entrance, but dressed more like Helen of Troy on that occasion and Clark was the object of her dancing desire.
Lex said he was glad she came. "I thought I scared you off."
"You'll have to come up with better scare tactics." Look at his knobby knees.
Of course Lex's costume has a long red cape. I don't know if that was a comparison to Superman, or just to denote that he and Lana were the royal couple.
Elsewhere in the throng, Lois made a sweeping motion above her copious cleavage. "So, is this part of your sizing me up?"
"No, Ms. Lane," Queen said. "Honestly that was a miscalculation."
"Well, that would be my polite comment on your choice of legwear for this evening."
"You have a quick tongue. I find that very attractive," he said and leaned on his long bow. Hey, they started it.
"Well, keep it in your quiver, jolly green bandit," she said and smiled. "So, is your fortune the do-it-yourself steal from the rich kind, or is it silver-plattered like our host?"
"It belonged to my parents and I ... I inherited it when they died."
Lois's smile faded a moment and she changed the subject. "I wasn't going to give it to you, but the tights? You're totally pulling it off."
"You should see him in a tutu," Lex interrupted.
"Lex Luthor," Queen said. "With a girl he doesn't have to inflate."
Lex tugged Lana closer. "Lana Lang, Oliver Queen. We went to boarding school together."
"Talk to any of the old gang lately?"
Lex ignored the question. "Enjoy the party," he said and began to leave.
"I always do."
After Lex and Lana had put some distance between Oliver and Lois, Lana said, "If that's a friend, I'd hate to see an enemy." The cliché fairy said "snap!"
Lois glanced around the room and found Martha. "Senator Kent, hi, I've been looking all over for you. I would like you to meet Oliver Queen."
"Mr. Queen, it's a pleasure to finally meet you."
"The pleasure's all mine. Lois has been telling me about your policy points. We should get together and talk about how I can help you."
"I'm looking forward to that, thank you."
"Thank Lois, she can be very persuasive."
The question, of course, is whether or not Queen would have struck a bargain with Lois if she hadn't been quite so beautiful. However, after rewatching their first meeting, it's clear if Lois was less fetching, Queen wouldn't have been so tongue-tied in the first place and likely would have remembered to identify himself.
Back to Smallville.
Chloe was running through the forest. "Clark! Clark, I can't find you on my own! You have to help me!"
"Chloe," Clark said in a low raspy voice.
"Oh, my God (she said that a lot this episode)." Chloe whipped out her trusty electric zapper and touched it to the center of the vine. It kind of screamed and let him go.
Chloe ran to Clark and pulled him up. "Come on, Clark, come back. This girl can't lose you twice in one month." At least that sounded like what she said. I'm not even sure what it meant unless they wanted us to know it was still the same month as Zod.
"How did you kill it?"
"Biology 101. Electricity denatures enzymes." That and she saw electricity kill it in the hospital.
"We have to help Jimmy."
"Jimmy?"
"He's over there."
Chloe found Jimmy in his vine basket.
"Gloria's headed for the mansion."
"Go, I'll take care of Jimmy."
Long story short, Clark found Gloria in the greenhouse and their final battle was brief. She slugged him across the room and he knocked down a lamp on his way. She sent out the vine power, but Clark used heat vision on a sprinkler head. The water electrified the floor around the fallen lamp. Bye-bye, vines. Bye-bye, sweet caress. Hello, loneliness. Gloria's about to die-yie. Sorry, once you start that song you can't stop.
Meanwhile EMTs loaded Jimmy into an ambulance while Chloe told them to defib him. Since Jimmy wasn't in cardiac arrest, they didn't think it was a good idea. Chloe climbed into the back of the ambulance and turned on the defibrillator machine and held the EMTs at bay with the paddles. "Back off! They're hot."
Then she 'ker thunked' Jimmy's chest and he opened his eyes. "Did you just paddle me?" Honest, that's what he said. Then the song Ache ("have I told you I ache" repeats over and over) began to play.
Oliver escorted Lois to the back entrance of the Talon. "I've enjoyed courting you against your will this evening."
"Only because I let you."
They made eye contact, Oliver leaned in for a kiss. It was a swing and a miss. Lois pulled back.
"I'd like to kiss you now," Oliver said.
Lois pulled away again. "The lady requires a show of skill before rewarding you with her favor."
"Which is actually where I was going with the kiss," he said and leaned in again.
Lois put her finger against his lips. "Let's make it interesting," she said and glanced down the alley at a soda can perched atop a Dumpster. "Hit that can with your arrow and I'm yours."
"You're that easy, huh?"
"It's that hard."
He considered a moment. "I'm going to go for it," he said and fetched his bow and an arrow from the back seat of his car. He affixed the arrow to the bowstring and pulled back, but paused a moment to glance at Lois first. He elevated his aim slightly and fired. The arrow hit the wall about a half inch above the can.
"Better luck next time, Hood," Lois said and walked into the kitchen entrance of the Talon.
The camera then panned over to the arrow which had gone through the hole in the pull tab of the soda can. I'm not sure why Oliver made that choice, though Lois did tell him to aim higher at their first meeting. It's lucky he made that choice, though, because Lois meets his alter ego in the next episode and if both Oliver and Green Arrow were expert marksmen with a bow and arrow, that whole "galactically stupid" thing could turn up fairly early.
The scene then switched to the royal couple strolling down the corridor of Castle Luthor while the singer was still singing about aching.
"This is definitely a night of firsts," Lex said. "It's the first time I've ever danced in my extremely pretentious fountain and the first time I've ever felt this satisfied."
"I was half expecting the word 'happy' to come out of your mouth."
"Happiness is just a feeling of euphoria," he lectured. "It's your brain chemistry going into overdrive. That's why so many relationships fail when the honeymoon ends and reality sets in."
"Wow, have you always been this romantic?" Lana asked.
Lex took her hand and walked towards the fireplace. Remember, no matter what time of year, fireplaces must be lit at all times in Smallville. "Look, if you were any other woman, I'd be saying what you expect to hear right now, but you're not, okay? You're not like anyone else."
"Well, be careful, because I am dangerously close to being satisfied."
"Then my evil plan is working," Lex said. "What made you change your mind about gracing my arm tonight?"
"Life. Wanting to live it," she replied and started peeling off his costume. He returned the favor and ... the less said the better.
Lastly, Clark was alone in his loft bouncing a baseball off the wall. Poor Clarkie, the Cooler King, being mocked by the never-ending Ache song.
That was the end of the episode, which was far better than Sneeze, but created two story lines that did not mesh with each other. One was distinctly Smallville. A Phantom Zone escapee standing in for the traditional meteor rock freak doing creepy things, Clark blaming Lex and being wrong, Chloe having knowledge on all subjects and so figures out the correct answer and has to rescue Clark again. The only thing different was the addition of Jimmy Olsen as a love interest for Chloe.
The other story line had nothing to do with the escapee and the mysterious deaths. The only link was the confrontation between Clark and Lex and that was mainly to have Lex rub salt in the wound about Lana being with him now. Otherwise there was no crossover. The second story line was about mythic collisions. There was the obvious attraction between Lois Lane and Oliver Queen. There was also the equally obvious animosity between Lex Luthor and Oliver Queen. There was Lois Lane's conflict over working for Senator Kent, while still feeling drawn towards accepting a position as a reporter.
Lois's dialogue with Queen was witty rather than ditsy as had been the case in Sneeze. Oliver Queen was suavely charming and Jimmy Olsen was naively charming. As for Clark, he was kind of dull. It's not his fault other than he was stuck in the formulaic Smallville plot line of the episode and so everything was predictable. We've seen it a million times before. No surprises.
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