Reviews

5:22 Vessel

by Zoomway

Well, it's that time of year again. A much needed vacation is so close I can almost taste it, which means it's also time for the characters of Smallville to be put in some sort of cliffhanger jeopardy. So, once more with feeling.

There was the standard "previously on Smallville" rehash montage plus a glimpse of clips of things that would actually be in this episode. I have to admit, though, if I'd been an undecided channel surfer, there was nothing in the clips that would have interested me enough to stick around and watch the finale.

I mean it already seemed like a rerun with clips of Lana snapping at Clark, Chloe telling him what to do and what not to do, Lex fighting with him and Clark's expression through all of it never changing much from a kind of wide-eyed numb indecisiveness. I don't know why, but with Superman Returns coming to theaters next month and with that movie sponsoring this episode, I expected something of Superman to emerge in Clark for the finale. I'd have settled for just about anything that made him seem more like the Man of Steel and less like the boy of tin foil he's been this year.

Alas, there was nothing in the preview clips that hinted at his famous future at all. Oh, well, unlike channel surfers who moved on to something else, I held out hope the finale would surprise me and hint at the Superman Clark would one day become. Boy, I should know better by now.

The episode opened with Clark doing chores in the barn when a big shadow passed over causing the horses to act restless and Shelby (his one scene) to bark. Clark glanced out, didn't seem to see anything and closed the door.

The scene switched to Lana asleep on top of Lex, both fully clothed by the way, with Chinese takeout cartons on the table. I guess we're to infer from this that the finale episode took up where the last one (Oracle) left off. Either that or Lex and Lana have Chinese takeout every night.

A light passed over them and a breeze blew out the fire in the fireplace. Lex's eyes opened and he got up and began holding his head.

Lana asked, "Is something wrong?" Nothing escapes her peerless perception

Lex just kept grunting in pain and then rushed out of the mansion with Lana in hot pursuit. She tried to phone him from her jeep as she tailed his Porsche, but he wouldn't answer. He stopped next to a large field, exited his car and began hurrying to a point unknown.

Lana ran after him shouting his name. When Lex reached the center of the field he held up his hands. "Stay there!"

Lana stopped. "What's happening?"

"I don't know," he said and then dirt began exploding all around him.

Then the big shadow returned and passed over Lex. I assume it was the ship, but they could only afford its shadow. There was a whoosh noise behind Lana. She turned around and Milton Fine was standing behind her.

"Stay away from her!" Lex shouted.

"What are you doing?" Lana asked.

"I'm preparing him."

Lana looked back at Lex just as a blue beam engulfed him. "Noooo!"

Then the blue beam and Lex vanished and the ship burned the Zod symbol into the field.

After the opening credits they showed a trailer for Superman Returns. The real deal of steel. The cape, the tights, walking into a machine gun, flying after a crashing plane, getting up close and personal with Lois ....

Lois was in the Kent kitchen on the phone yelling at the airline for mysteriously losing her and Martha's reservations. "I hate to break it to you, but people have been buying airline tickets long before there were computers. So glitch or no glitch there has to be some record of us being on this flight."

Martha went to answer a knock at the door as Lois paced out of the room demanding to speak to the supervisor's supervisor.

Lionel turned around with a smile until he saw Martha open the door. "I thought you'd be on your way to Washington by now," he said apologetically.

Martha invited him in and explained that a computer glitch had canceled the flight.

"That's easily solved. The LuthorCorp jet is free to take you this afternoon ..."

"No, no I can't continue taking favors from you."

"Don't make this personal, Martha. It's business. It's the obvious way to cope with an emergency," he said. "Besides, the important thing is that you get there for the meeting."

"It's a national education summit," she corrected. "There will be over three thousand people there. I'll be wearing my inexperience like a badge."

Lionel shrugged. "Experience is often overrated, especially in Washington," he assured her and then mopped up the water she spilled while trying to fill a teacup. "You've got integrity, Martha. One of the rare qualities you possess."

This scene was deliberately intimate with Lionel being very close to Martha as he dried the counter, their faces inches apart. Martha was obviously uncomfortable with the intimacy, but it didn't seem to be due to a lack of attraction. Rather it seemed quite the opposite, like she was attracted to Lionel, but perhaps suffered a pang of guilt for feeling that way about him.

Lana entered the Daily Planet doing her zombie/waif walk. You know, the vacant troubled stare and halting steps.

Chloe walked past and greeted her saying that she hadn't seen Lana much and felt like she'd been living with a ghost and that it wasn't the first time. I'm not sure if Chloe meant Lana is rarely sleeping at the dorm these days, or she was referring to being possessed by a ghost in the Tomb episode, or a reminder of Lana staying out with her med school pals getting high on death. At any rate when Chloe got no return greeting, she noticed the zombie routine. "Lana, are you all right?"

"I'm so scared, Chloe. I knew he was getting in too deep."

"Who?"

"Lex," she whispered. "They took him."

Then Lana told Chloe about Lex being sucked up into the spaceship and about Fine saying he was preparing Lex. Anyone else think of the 'To Serve Man' cookbook? No? Okay, I'll move on, though that's always a waste of exposition having a character repeat something we've already seen happen.

Then Lana, during a bout of self importance, said,"I can't believe I let this happen."

"Lana, you can't blame yourself." Oh, just watch her.

"It's my fault he was involved in the first place." See? "Chloe, what if he's dead?"

Then the episode did one of those awkward time shift cuts to the Kent farm and Chloe talking to Clark. Again, ad nauseum, we know it takes 3 hours to drive from Metropolis to Smallville and so it's like there's a missing scene that could have absorbed Chloe's traveling time. There had been a scene in the promo for this episode of Lex screaming and tearing himself out of a cocoon of some sort, but it never showed up in the finale.

Then, for the third time we get the story about Lex's fate.

"What do you mean 'taken?'" Clark asked.

"I mean ripped from the Earth and sucked into the sky. His abductor did leave a calling card in the field and from Lana's description, it sounded a lot like Zod's symbol."

"Lionel's drawings warned of Zod coming. Maybe it's actually happening."

"What is happening?" Chloe asked. "I don't get it. I mean I thought Zod was trapped in that phantom prison other dimension thing."

"That's what I'm worried about," Clark said. "Fine knows I would not release Zod willingly. He's obviously changed strategies."

"So then Lex is part of Plan B?"

"Which means Lana's stuck right in the middle of it."

"Look, I know what you're thinking. She used to come to you when she was in trouble, but it's all different now," Chloe said and rushed forward to block Clark's path. "And you know what? That was your choice."

This seemed odd to me. Why was it Chloe's business if Clark wanted to go dash off and help or protect Lana? Not that I'd be thrilled to see that happen, but protecting or helping someone isn't about romance or a relationship. I got the distinct impression from this scene, and especially a later one, that Chloe wanted Lana to stay out of the picture so she could have Clark to herself.

"Chloe, I don't feel like I've made any of the right choices lately." Just lately? "I've been so angry with Jor-El I didn't listen. I didn't listen to any of his warnings."

"But it seems like every time you turn to Jor-El, something bad happens."

Why isn't Clark the one making this observation? Surely he knows better than Chloe that dealing with Jor-El has always turned to crap. Did it never ever occur to Clark that when he took Fine to the Fortress of Solitude to destroy it with the black crystal that Jor-El said nothing? Jor-El didn't beg nor command Clark to not destroy the fortress and Clark thought nothing of that?

"What if he's just trying to protect me?" Yeah, I can see Jor-El doing all those cruel things to protect you. "What if he's trying to protect all of us?" Then we're pretty much screwed.

Clark went to the fortress and Jor-El greeted him. "Hello, my son."

"I had no other choice but to come here," Clark grumbled, still pissed at Jor-El because ... uh ... I guess because of the events months ago in Reckoning because I can't think of any episode since where Clark went to the fortress. Yet Clark, as he pointed out himself, has been making bad choices, including the stupid choices made in Reckoning. Even if Jor-El turns out to be Zod, or Brainiac, it doesn't change the fact that Clark had very poor judgment.

"I know you are still angered by the loss of Jonathan Kent."

"He was my father."

"I am your father."

Whatever. Clark told Jor-El that Fine had returned to release Zod. "What am I supposed to do?"

"Wait a moment, my son, while I speed dial Chloe."

"Oh, God, I am your son!"

Just kidding. Jor-El told Clark that Fine is merely an extension of the brain interactive construct of the spaceship and that the spaceship will stop at nothing until its master, Zod, is released.

"There's got to be some way to stop him."

"There is one way," Jor-El said, sort of like a con man about to sell shares in a nonexistent oil well. He explained that Zod was banished to the Phantom Zone for crimes that led to the destruction of Krypton and that Zod's body was destroyed to prevent him from leaving the Phantom Zone. "He can be freed if he finds a body. A vessel to inhabit."

A dagger appeared out of the crystal pipe organ. "You must find the vessel and destroy it. No matter who it may be."

Clark went and reported to Chloe, who said, "I've heard of fathers demanding a lot from their sons, but asking you to commit a murder? That goes way beyond domineering dad."

Doesn't this sound familiar to anyone? Last week it was Jonathan telling Clark to kill someone, albeit a fake Jonathan, but that wasn't known at the time. But now, suddenly, it's all different?

"Chloe, I'm not killing anyone."

"I hate to say this, but disobeying Jor-El has had grim consequences." Yeah, and again that's something Clark should know better than Chloe.

"There's got to be another way."

"What about the vessel? Why doesn't this Zod guy come fully composed?"

"All Jor-El told me is that Zod's spirit would possess a human," he said, because rehashing stuff we already know is the hallmark of this episode.

"And this is the same Zod whose hobbies include mass destruction and world domination?"

"Chloe, what if Lex is the vessel?"

Danny Kaye suddenly appeared in a court jester outfit. "Lex is the vessel with the pod that holds Zod and the dagger with the symbols is the knife to end strife."

"That's why the ship took him," Chloe said and winked at Danny. "Lana said Fine was preparing him."

Speak of the devil and the devil appears. Lana walked up, but paused when she saw Clark and Chloe talking together.

"If I'm right, then I've got to kill Lex."

Clark opened a desk drawer in the loft and removed the journal Lois had given him. Underneath was the dagger. As he examined it, Lionel walked up the stairs.

"You know, Clark," he said in his anecdotal tone. "In certain cultures when a father presents his son with the gift of a knife, it represents a rite of passage."

"How do you know this is from Jor-El?"

"The glyphs on the blade, they're Kryptonian."

I don't know if they're telling us Lionel is being Jor-El's extension phone, or if Lionel is Jor-El's 'vessel' and someone else is playing Jor-El in the Fortress of Solitude, but Lionel couldn't have seen the glyphs on the blade before he started talking. Most of the knife's view was blocked by Clark's left arm as Lionel walked up the stairs and he had already begun relating the 'rite of passage' story before Clark turned around.

"What does Jor-El want you to do with the dagger?"

Clark didn't reply.

"Clark, I came here to find you," he said and unfolded a piece of paper. "I woke up this morning and found this. I must have written it in my sleep."

Clark looked at the paper and then back at Lionel.

"It's another warning from Jor-El? Tell me what it says."

"Sacrifice the vessel."

"The vessel? I don't understand. Let me help you," Lionel said as Clark paced up stage. "Clark, please, you don't have to make this decision alone."

"There's nothing you or anyone else can do."

Lionel placed a hand on his shoulder. "Don't underestimate me, son."

Clark turned around. "Jor-El wants me to kill. The person will be the vessel. Zod will possess a human form and destroy Earth just as he did Krypton," he said, his voice resigned. "But I can't kill anyone. You of all people should know that."

"Clark, the real test of a hero is knowing when the greater good will be served by an evil act. To save the Earth, the cost of one life is the price that must be paid."

I feel like someone is asking me to bomb Kalamazoo, Michigan to save New York City again, or as Dr. McCoy put it, "If killing five people saves ten, then it's a bargain? Is that your simple logic, Mr. Spock?"

Clark looked up. "Even if that life is your son?" Or the paper boy, or Martha ... "Lex is the vessel of Zod."

Lionel almost looked like he was going to faint for a moment and quickly sat down.

"He was abducted this morning out of Meyer's field."

Lionel went to the field where Lex had been re-deposited. "Lex, son, are you all right?"

"Everything feels different."

"Clark told me they'd taken you. What happened, son? Are you hurt?"

"You tried to warn me about Fine, but I didn't listen."

Then Lionel began to sound like his old self. "You never have. No matter what I've given you, the things you've always wanted were beyond your grasp. This time you've overreached yourself."

"Did you come out here to help me or to lecture me?"

"It's too late to do either, isn't it? You made a deal with the devil. He always comes to collect," he said and he should know.

Lionel approached Lex and put a hand on his shoulder as he had with Clark, but Lex rebuffed his touch and shoved him ... at about two hundred miles per hour into a car windshield.

By all rights, physics and logic Lionel should be dead. However, he rolled over with a groan. Either he's a cartoon, or a robot, or when Jor-El is possessing him, he is invulnerable. Well, mostly invulnerable because he was bleeding and sore.

"Dad, are you okay?" Lex asked as if Lionel had merely bumped his head on an open cabinet.

"What have they done to you, Lex? What have they turned you into?"

Lex, unable to answer, whooshed off.

Lex returned to the mansion and Lana ran to him and hugged him. "I thought I'd never see you again."

"It's okay," he whispered.

Lana pulled back. "What happened?"

"I've been given a gift," he replied, then walked to a gun case, took out a pistol and shot himself in the hand.

Lana screamed and probably thought insanity was a weird gift. She walked over to him, opened his hand and saw that there was no wound.

"You need to know the truth about me."

Lana looked up at him with a combination of disgust and fear as she backed away. "They've turned you into one of them."

"I have their abilities, but it's still me. Lana, I'd never lie to you. {{irony alert}} How could I keep something like this from the person I care about most?"

Lana's reaction to Lex's powers was much more in line with what I had expected her reaction would have been in the 100th episode when Clark told her his secret. She had such a loathing for those two Krpytonians who came out of the spaceship that I assumed she'd at least have an initial knee-jerk reaction when she found out Clark came from the same planet. Then I remembered Clark hadn't been totally honest with Lana. He never said he came from the same place as the other two aliens and he never said his ship landed during the meteor shower that killed her parents.

"Lex, I overheard Clark and Chloe talking. Now that you're back ... Clark, he's going to try and kill you."

"It's fear, Lana," he said in a superior tone. "My father's infected him with it. How he used to do to me. Clark can't stand the fact that I'm different now."

Then Lex said he had to go somewhere and, "know that I'll always love you."

"You're talking like we'll never see each other again."

Holy retread, Batman! Here is dialogue from last season's finale:

"I need you to know that no matter what happens, I will never forget you."

"You're talking like we're never going to see each other again."

The only difference is that last year it was Clark and Lana delivering those lines. I've probably brought this up before, but what the heck, in an episode full of retreads and repeated exposition, it's probably appropriate. In an episode of MASH Colonel Blake said a pizza oven would be nice for movie nights and asked for a pizza requisition form. The quartermaster said, "Just use one of those standard S-1798s and write in 'pizza' where it says 'machine gun.'"

I guess Smallville has a standard S-1798 finale template script. Scratch out Clark's name and write in Lex. It's used again later in the episode to scratch out Lana and write in Chloe.

Anyway, to defuse her fear Lex told Lana to meet him on the roof of LuthorCorp Plaza. "I'll be there tonight," he said and whooshed away.

Clark went to see Lionel at the medical center. There must be a rogue radio station in Smallville that broadcasts the hospital report every hour. "This just in, Lionel Luthor has just been admitted."

Lionel told Clark that Lex had changed. Not real specific there.

Clark looked at Lionel's bettered face and asked him what happened.

"Everything Fine has been doing was meant to prepare Lex. Somehow he now possesses the same powers as you. You can't begin to imagine what he's going to do with them."

"Why do you say that?" Because it was on page 31 of the script.

"He wasn't raised like you, Clark," Lionel said as he began to collect his belongings. "I taught him to survive at any cost. To be completely ruthless."

"Maybe that's what will save him. There's still part of Lex that can fight this."

"You see that in him because you want to. There's always been a dark force at work inside him."

"I don't want to hurt Lex."

Lionel stepped closer to Clark. "If Zod is as evil as you believe him to be, it's easy to understand why he chose Lex to inhabit as his vessel," he said and started putting on his jacket. "What about Lana? Someone very close to you. She's a big part of his life right now. Be careful what you decide to do, Clark. Which one are you willing to sacrifice?"

That didn't even make sense to me. Which one? Does he mean if Clark doesn't kill Lex, then Lex will kill Lana?

The scene switched to Martha and Lois as they boarded the LuthorCorp jet. Yes, the writers remembered they were in the episode.

Lois glanced around. "I guess if you're going to be twenty thousand feet above the ground, you might as well do it in the lap of luxury."

"Enjoy it while you can," Martha said. "If our flight hadn't been canceled, I'd never feel comfortable doing this."

Lois took a seat. "Well, you might want to start finding your comfort zone, because something tells me this isn't going to be the last time you're invited to fly the Luthor skies."

Martha shook her head. "This is just a friendly gesture."

Lois noticed a bottle of wine with a card attached. "Look, another friendly gesture," she said and handed the card to Martha and then watched her smile as she read it.

Martha, catching herself smiling, set the card aside. "Lionel can be a very generous man," she commented and tried to sound disinterested, but noticed Lois was smiling at her. "I'm not interested in a relationship with Lionel, or anyone."

"Really?"

"Yes."

Then Lois asked something I didn't expect. "Or are you just worried about how Clark would take it?"

Martha gave Lois a "don't push it" look and Lois nodded. "Okay, enough said."

As I mentioned, I didn't expect Lois to broach that subject, but it reminded me of something from the new Superman movie. Since it would be a spoiler I won't go into details, but I wonder if this Martha/Lois scene is related or just a coincidence.

Without Chloe leaping in his path this time, Clark was finally able to visit Lana at the mansion. Actually, he went there to see Lex, but Lana would have to do. They must have leased a Steadicam for this episode. It's full of spinning room shots.

"You'll never find him," Lana told Clark as she flounced into the room.

"Lana, he's in trouble."

"I suppose you're going to tell me you came here to help," she sniped as she pulled up one of her spaghetti straps.

"I don't want anything to happen to him," Clark answered in his well trained apologetic tone.

"Like what? Having your best friend turn against you? I heard you and Chloe talk about killing Lex. I don't know how you knew he'd come back different, but I shouldn't be surprised."

Clark put on his groveling face. "Lana, you can't stay with him. He's not what you think."

"He told me his secret and it doesn't change the way I feel about him."

"What's happened to him, it doesn't scare you?"

"I am not going to abandon Lex."

"Neither am I." I saw him first. "Listen, Fine would not give him powers without expecting something in return. It's not over, Lana. I can help him if you tell me where he is."

"How do I know you won't hurt him?"

"You know me."

"No, I don't. You have all these different sides to you and I can't tell if any of them is the real you." It's like all your sides, Lana. It just depends who is writing you any given week. "If you have ever really cared about me," Lana said as the ultimatum music played softly in the background, "tell me what's happening to Lex."

"Lana, please ..."

She picked up her jacket and purse. "You've never trusted me, have you? I don't know how I could have ever loved you," she said and exited.

That's my question, too. Why did she ever love Clark? Why did/does Clark love her? These two characters are like battered spouses who keep saying they love the person who beats them up. What, other than a physical attraction, was the basis for their love? Lana felt entitled to Clark's secret long before they were in a relationship. Clark always apologizes and grovels around Lana and isn't permitted to get angry with her even though she's more than welcome to spit venom on him. They aren't star-crossed lovers, they're teenagers who both over idealized their relationship and now seem surprised their reality checks bounced.

Anyway, Fine appeared behind Clark. "And to think, her loyalty could have been yours if you'd been honest with her. I'm sure Zod will cherish her allegiance."

It won't last for Lex no more than it lasted for Clark, Whitney or Jason.

Clark spun around and sent Fine sailing through the air until he crashed into a bookcase.

"Leave Lana out of this."

"It's your own fault, Kal-El. You were supposed to be the vessel, but your father's spirit was too strong in you." Which father?

Then Fine nattered on about giving Clark one last chance to free Zod, or he'd exploit Clark's weakness -- humans. "They're so fragile. They'll never survive without their technology, no matter how crude. Take that away and they'll devolve back into the animals they really are and you can't save all of them."

Then Clark said he'd never do what Fine wanted and so Fine put his hands on Lex's laptop and some Matrix looking symbols appeared and the lights went out in the mansion.

Clark whooshed to the Daily Planet which was in utter chaos as lights flickered and people ran around in blind panic. Is no one in charge there? I remember when the power went out in Metropolis on L&C Perry White was there and still barking orders even in the dark. He had typewriters brought up from storage and had the old guy who used to run the outmoded printing press crank it back into service.

They not only didn't panic and run away during the blackout, they still got the paper out by deadline. Were there crime and accidents during that blackout? Sure, but L&C had one thing Smallville apparently will never have -- Superman ... in any form.

Clark made his way to Yoda. "Chloe, what's going on? All the streetlights are out."

I need a Chloe, too. What's going on? My lower intake manifold gasket is leaking.

Chloe pointed to the Matrix symbols on her computer screen. "You tell me."

"It's already reached Metropolis."

Chloe looked up stunned that Clark already knew something she didn't. "You know where it started?"

"Smallville. Fine did something to one of Lex's computers. I thought if anyone could figure out what it was, it'd be you." Naturally.

"Some sort of an electronic virus." We're saved! "And it's spreading faster than I can track it." We're doomed! "After it scaled every firewall and knocked down all the communication, it's now infecting most of the city's infrastructure."

"All because of me," Clark said, because taking the blame for things is his most potent super power. "I refused to release Zod, now Fine's trying to force my hand."

"Well, he's definitely playing hard ball. I mean elevators, gas mains, subways ... the entire city is shutting down."

Then Chloe turned on a radio that said the same thing about the city's infrastructure breaking down. It's like everything in this episode was repeated over and over.

Then a car came crashing through the window of the Planet's basement. Clark saved Chloe and then started to leave (to help out?), but Chloe snagged his arm. "Clark, it's no use. You can't save everyone."

Isn't it kind of eerie that Chloe told Clark basically the same thing Fine did about not being able to save everyone? I wish Clark would have said something like, "Maybe I can't save everyone, but I'm at least going to try and save as many as I can."

It's like what Lois said to Clark in Neverending Battle. That it didn't matter what he couldn't do because no one can be everywhere at once, but it's the idea of Superman (or any hero) that matters. Someone to build some hopes around. "Whatever he can do -- that's enough."

I'm just tired of Clark not being proactive and allowing himself to be so easily waylaid by Chloe and others when he makes the attempt. Instead, Chloe suggested that maybe Jor-El was right and perhaps the only way to stop Zod, Fine and the virus was to destroy (kill) the vessel (Lex).

So, rather than zipping around Metropolis surreptitiously helping the cops maintain order and rescuing people trapped by the blackout, Clark decided to go after the vessel. It's too bad, because if Clark really had a brain, he'd realize that since Zod does not inhabit Lex yet and Fine still wanted Clark to release Zod, then Clark should have known that he has always been the real key to Zod's release. Without Clark, Zod can't be released no matter how well 'prepared' Lex is to receive his spirit.

Unfortunately Clark, unable to reason things out even on a rudimentary level, decided to go with Chloe's assumption that Jor-El could be right. "What if something goes wrong?" he asked. "I don't want to leave you here."

"You have to," Chloe said bravely and selflessly and all the other goodly adverb ways.

Clark turned around and started walking out. He offered no parting hug or even pat on the shoulder. Chloe decided to chase down her own farewell kiss. "Clark, I don't know if I'm ever going to see you again," she said and then gave him a big smooch.

This is also a retread from last year where Lana gave Clark a farewell kiss, but "I love yous" had been exchanged in that case. I'm not sure how we're supposed to view this Clark/Chloe kiss. Romantic? Desperate? To me it's a matter of context. Had Clark walked away as originally shown, for example, but then turned around and walked back and swept Chloe into his arms and initiated the kiss, then yes, I'd assume the writers wanted the kiss to be perceived as romantic. The reason Clark would have had to initiate the kiss for it to be romantic is because he's the one still hung up on someone else.

Though after the kiss it seemed like Chloe expected something from Clark. Maybe for him to initiate a second kiss, or utter some kind of tender comments. However Clark turned away seemingly more interested in a phone that was ringing than in the kiss. Chloe grabbed his chin and turned his face back to her and she made this very plaintive expression, almost like she was begging, but Clark simply walked away and answered the phone. It was Lex, by the way, telling Clark he heard he was looking for him.

Meanwhile, back on the jet, which started to become reminiscent of the second season finale, Lois awoke after a jolt of turbulence and wiped her mouth. "You'd tell me if I had drool all over my face, wouldn't you?"

Martha laughed. "Yes."

"What time is it?"

"It's about ten minutes to nine."

Lois looked surprised. "And we aren't there yet? We should be strolling down Pennsylvania Avenue by now."

"You're right, I lost track of the time. We must have hit some strong headwinds."

Lois swiveled in her chair. "More like gale force. We should have landed an hour ago."

"Lois, relax," Martha soothed. "There are a million reasons why we could have been delayed. I'm sure everything is okay."

Lois, not buying it, opened the curtain and peered out the window. "I might have flunked geography, but the last time I checked, the east coast didn't look like this."

Martha joined Lois at the window and saw a large mountain range and the view from the cockpit seemed to suggest it was an arctic region. Hmm, wonder where they could be headed? Thanks for flying the unfriendly skies of Milton Fine Airlines.

It was finally time for the showdown at the old Kent corral. Lex walked out of the shadows. "So, what did you decide, Clark? Are you going to kill me?"

"You can't blame me for this, Lex. You did this to yourself."

"Oh, come on, Clark," Lex chided. "You love it. Ever since that day on the bridge you've seen yourself as my savior. The one thing that would pull me off the dark path I'd started. See, that's why you cling to the idea there's still some good in me. You don't want to face the fact that you might have failed."

"Or maybe I just can't believe someone would have so little will power."

Oh, please, this coming from a guy who ran off to Metropolis and became a felon third season.

"It's hard to compete with the iron will power it takes to kill one of your best friends. How did you know I was going to come back like this?"

Clark had a red cape in this scene, but he held it in his hands. "You don't realize how much danger you're in," he replied, deftly moving the cape to one side. Ole!

Lex charged again. "I used to think you had this strong inner core. You were so virtuous (since when?) and yet you lie all the time. To me, to Lana, to all the people who cared about you. What kind of sick person would do that?"

"If you thought this friendship was so doomed from the beginning, then why did you fight so hard to keep it?" Ole!

Lex pawed the ground. "Because I wanted everything you had. The family, the inconspicuous life, the loyal girlfriend. Well, at least I walked away with the part you loved the most."

"You're not yourself." Ole!

Of course a lot of what Lex said was hogwash for the sake of the episode. To have an 'inconspicuous life' he'd have only needed to walk out on Lionel and the wealth and power that came with his father's name. Plus Lex couldn't have coveted Clark's 'loyal girlfriend' from the beginning because Clark didn't have Lana until this year. Not to mention Lana was never the epitome of loyalty anyway.

"Or maybe I finally am," Lex said as he grabbed Clark and they began to brawl.

Clark threw Lex across the barn and into the hay loft, but Lex whooshed up behind him and said he always knew there was something different about Clark and then tossed him up into the loft and ... that was about it. Clark easily threw Lex down and brought the dagger to his throat. In fact, considering how evenly matched they were, you'd think Clark would question how easy his victory was.

Lex just lay there like a slab of salt pork not even trying to push the dagger away from his throat. He kept a placid expression on his face, but Clark, not even for a moment, thought there was something wrong with that picture.

"Do it, Clark," Fine taunted from the sidelines. "Let's see if you're really your father's son."

Then Lex actually smiled with the knife at his throat. Did Clark stop and think this time? No, of course not. He lost his temper and threw the knife at Fine. It hit Fine in the chest and started a chain reaction of events as the hilt of the knife began to glow red.

"What have I done?" the Amazing Captain Stupid asked.

Fine, the knife still glowing in his chest, replied, "You have opened the portal for Zod!"

A red beam shot out of the crystal pipe organ in the Fortress of Solitude, passed through space, I guess, then passed through Fine, made a right angle turn and hit Lex. After the beam had expended itself, Fine vanished.

Clark got to his feet. "Lex? Lex?"

Lex turned around and approached Clark, looking at him like he'd never really seen him before. He reached out a hand as if to touch him, but Clark recoiled. "You have your father's eyes." Hey, they said the same thing of Satan's son in Rosemary's Baby. "Hello, Kal-El."

"Where's Lex?"

"Lex is dead."

"Why are you here?"

It's Girl Scout cookie month.

"For the same reason as anyone who'd been imprisoned like a beast." Drum Roll. "Revenge," Lex-Zod said and walked up stage. "Your father banished me to an eternal hell for trying to save a doomed race. And in the end, the only survivor of his pathetic crusade was his son."

"Then this is between us. These people did nothing to harm you."

"No, but you feel no pain greater than to see others in agony."

Clark stepped forward. "I won't let you destroy this planet like you did Krypton."

Spare me. You couldn't save a fork from a garbage disposal.

"You don't have a choice ... unless you join me."

"I'll never join you," he said in a mild-mannered Skywalker way.

"Then I hope that's a decision you can life with ... forever," Lex-Zod said and sent one of those Phantom Zone rings flying out the loft window. An instant later Clark was sucked out the window and into the Phantom Zone.

My hero.

Meanwhile Lois tried to kick open the door to the cockpit as the jet continued off course. Martha, who had been trying to call for help on her phone, started gasping. "Lois, I'm not feeling well, I can't breathe."

"Me either," Lois replied and looked at the cabin gauges. "It's the air pressure. We need oxygen," she said and pushed the intercom button. "Open the door!"

Martha collapsed.

Lois began crawling towards Martha. "Mrs. Kent, wake up!" she shouted and began to shake her shoulder. "You have to stay awake."

Martha remained unresponsive and Lois began gasping. She looked up and saw the oxygen mask door. She crawled to the mini-bar and toasted the dull finale. I mean she pulled herself up and took a knife from behind the bar, reached up and pried open the door. Two oxygen masks dropped down, but Lois passed out as she reached for them.

Meanwhile all hell broke loose in Metropolis and Chloe, for whatever reason, was running through the mean streets. There were people smashing cars, setting things on fire, looting and randomly beating people up. Then Chloe spotted Lionel's limousine in the middle of the chaos. She ran to the limo and started beating on the window.

"Let me in!"

Lionel opened the door. "Get in," he said and then turned to the driver. "Get us out of here."

Suddenly a chunk of the mob converged on the limo and started rocking it and smashing it with crowbars. Thugs reached in one broken window and began pulling at Lionel.

"No, Mr. Luthor!" Chloe shouted, but then the window next to her broke open and she was pulled out of the car. The last we see of her is an overhead view of her lying in the street surrounded by thugs.

Then, for a moment, it looked like Lana to the rescue. The Chosen One ran through the thugs and leaped over cars and when one guy grabbed her she did her Lana kung fu on him and continued on her way. I honestly thought she was there to save Chloe, but no, Lana ran into the LuthorCorp building and then I remembered. She was there to keep a date with Lex. Try to imagine Sleepless in Seattle meets Lara Croft. Even funnier than the idea that Lana navigated an all out riot to keep a romantic tryst was the fact that Metropolis (and all the other major cities) had deteriorated into complete lawlessness in a couple of hours. There's no generators?

Up on the LuthorCorp roof Lex-Zod looked down on the burning city, his long leather duster coat stirred by the breeze. He heard the rooftop door open and turned around.

"Lex," Lana said breathlessly as she approached him. "Part of me thought this was another one of your tests." What tests? "You've been abandoned and betrayed so many times in your life, how could you know I wouldn't be next? Well, I'm not. I'm here. In spite of everything happening out there, I'm here."

Lex-Zod stepped down from the ledge and walked towards her.

"I don't know what it is you and I have," Lana continued, "but I'm here because I want to find out. Do you?"

Lex-Zod put his hands on her shoulders and they began a passionate kiss while Rome ... uh ... Metropolis burned beneath them.

The camera pulled back ... way back into outer space where the dumbest Clark Kent who ever drew breath under a yellow sun floated away in his Phantom Zone album cover. It was probably Kal-El's Greatest Blunders collection. And then, for whatever reason, the background music tried to evoke the old Superman movie theme without actually playing the theme. If there was ever a less deserving person for that theme, I've yet to see him.

"To be Continued ..."

This was a really dull predictable episode. It certainly didn't have the panache of a finale. All the character cliffhangers were pretty dull. We know Clark will be back and we know Lex will be separated from Zod in the premiere next year. Lana will find out what a monster he is and be instrumental in freeing Clark from the Phantom Zone ... somehow.

Chloe and Lionel's fate is more interesting because they have no known role in the Superman myth. And though we know Martha and Lois are alive and well in the Superman myth, their cliffhanger seems to imply a trip to the Fortress of Solitude which could be interesting even if Lois's memory is erased afterward.

I don't know if Superman's performance at the boxoffice will have an effect on how Smallville will be planned out for next season, but this season was supposed to be "Superman in Training," but I sure didn't see that at all. Clark started the season hating his powers and still seems to hate his heritage, plus Chloe has to help him and think for him way too much.

Next year they should just do half a season and then tie up everything and put the characters on their destined paths. With a shorter season they'd also save money and could have a better FX budget next year.

As a trivia note, this was the lowest rated of all of Smallville's finales. Usually they do an uptick in the ratings for the finale compared to the four or five preceding episodes, but it didn't happen this year. Over all, though, the ratings were on a par or better in some cases than last year and episodes dealing with comic book heroes like Aqua and Cyborg got the highest ratings. Aqua even did better than the landmark highly promoted 100th episode.

Relationship story lines didn't do as well as the hero story lines. That might be understandable since the audience knows who Clark really ends up with and so they're not interested in other pairings. I hope there won't be a Clark and Chloe romance next year because that would be awkward in a lot of directions with Lana being Chloe's best friend and Clark's ex-girlfriend and Clark's future wife being Chloe's cousin.

Hopefully next year is the end of the line and the producers will feel compelled to work towards Clark's heroic future and not what has become his seriously screwed up past.

Zoom (free at last... till next season)

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