NEXT ON SMALLVILLE 7x20 Artic - May 15, 2008 8/7c LEX DISCOVERS CLARK'S SECRET — Kara (Laura Vandervoort) tells Lex (Michael Rosenbaum) he is destined to defeat the Traveler and offers to take him to the Fortress to learn how. Clark (Tom Welling) is stunned that Kara would go to Lex but it is revealed that Brainiac is impersonating Kara and she's actually trapped in the Phantom Zone. Chloe is arrested by the Department of Domestic Security and Lana awakens from her comatose state. Meanwhile, in an epic turn of events, Clark and Lex face off in the Fortress and Lex learns Clark's secret. Erica Durance and Aaron Ashmore also star. QUICK LINKS DI on MySpace: / ZodCast on MySpace: / Fans Around the World / Lois Lane's Daily Journal / Redboots / The Clois Fanfic Archive / Christopher Reeve Foundation / Guestbook FEATURED CLIP TOP AFFILIATES { All Affiliates } BANTER LOG Lois: It's funny, I never thought she'd fall for the farm boy type. Martha: Trust me, that can happen to the best of us. Lois: Not me. Give me a nerd with glasses any day of the week. Martha: Clark has many sides. Lois: Yeah, I've seen several of them already. { All Quotes } SEARCH FOR SMALLVILLE @ Amazon.com @ eBay.com @ AllPosters.com SITE STATS Clois fans online You are visitor # Since 11/27/04 CONTACT US For any news and information or to contact HappyEnding.Org Staff, you can e-mail one of the following: Webmaster: Jerilee Co-Webmasters Nautica7mk, ZodCast and Arwen DISCLAIMER We are in no way affiliated with Tom Welling, Erica Durance, Smallville or The WB. This site is strictly a fansite and nothing monetary is gained. SUPERMAN and all related elements are the property of DC Comics.

Reviews

5:20 Fade

by Zoomway

This episode was less about A-plot and more about match-ups so I'll stick mainly to the multitude of B-plot relationships.

The episode opened with a witness wearing a bulletproof vest surrounded by guards as he was escorted into a Metropolis courthouse. He was toast. Then there was a shot of a fairly handsome young man standing across the street watching the hoopla. He was the toaster.

Walking briskly towards the courthouse to hear the testimony of the star witness were Clark and Chloe. "Not that I mind being your boy Friday," Clark said, confirming that he was the sidekick to her superhero, "but I don't understand why you needed an escort."

"I don't," she replied. "I just thought a nice courthouse field trip might reignite the journalism spark."

"I hate to break it to you," he said, taking a faked press pass Chloe offered. "My ace reporter days ended when I left the Torch."

Not that he was an ace reporter there either. I recall he blew off the school paper to help Lana train for an equestrian event. He looked cute with a bit in his teeth. I believe he also blew off the paper for football.

"Okay, then consider it a much needed 'get off the farm' pass. Look, Clark, I know this has been the year from Hell and that was before you broke up with Lana, but there are just so many days you can hole yourself up in that loft before I pull an intervention."

"Wait," Clark interrupted, "I am not holed up. It's just that since I found out Lionel knows my secret, I've been waiting for a bomb to go off."

Clark began to attach the press pass to his jacket, but Chloe stepped in and did it for him. It was like she was his mother putting a name tag on him so the driver of the short bus would know who he was. Hopefully Chloe and Clark won't ever have a romantic dinner because I fear she'll have to cut up his steak for him.

Speaking of short bus fodder, the villain began walking across the street without looking both ways. A van barreled down on him. Clark leaped a taxi in a single bound and rescued him.

"You ... you saved my life," the man said breathlessly and glanced at the fake press pass revealing the real reason it existed in the episode. "I don't know how to thank you."

"You don't have to," Clark said ... heroically. Sorry, I'm running out of good adverbs. Are there any? "I did what anybody else would have done."

The man said he had to leave, but thanked Clark again.

Chloe trotted up. "Hey, you couldn't do that on the farm." He could if the guy was on the farm. "Thanks to you that guy's got a new lease on life. Nice work."

The irony pipe sprung a leak and was dripping everywhere as the rescued man became invisible and followed the witness into a secure room and broke his neck.

After the credits, Martha and Clark entered the farmhouse to find Lois playing Dynasty Warrior on a brand new plasma TV.

"Lois..."

"Die, samurai, die!" Technically samurai are Japanese, not Chinese, but Chloe wasn't there to correct her.

"Lois!"

Lois turned around. "Ah, come on, Smallville, you killed me," she moaned and the Lana/Clana, Chloe/Chlark, Chloe-is-Lois fans all wished it were true. Though the Lois/Clois fans were happy to see Ms. Lane's return. Don't ask me to explain any of that.

"Lois, where did all this come from?" Martha asked.

"Good question."

Lois shrugged. "There's a card somewhere," she said and started searching. "Looks like Christmas came early this year and in Hi-Def Surround Sound no less. The delivery guys were unloading it when I got here. You win a raffle or something, Smallville?"

"Not that I know of."

Lois found the card and handed it to Clark and then picked up some folders and glanced at Martha. "And I'll just get to work."

"Who's it from?"

Clark opened the envelope, but 'Enjoy' was all it said. "I don't need a signature to know this is from Lionel Luthor."

"Oh, Clark, I wouldn't jump to conclusions."

Clark glanced over at Lois in the kitchen and lowered his voice. "Mom, I warned him to stay out of our lives. This is his way of buying his way back in."

Martha shook her head. "I really don't think Lionel would do this, but I'll go call him and find out."

Though Clark's body is faster than a speeding bullet, his brain is slower than my 28.8 dial-up connection and so he had to seek out Chloe's help ... again.

She greeted him with news about the witness being found murdered in the courthouse basement.

Clark was impressed. "I guess this is a bad time to ask for a favor." Okay, he wasn't impressed.

"Are you kidding? All the times you've saved my butt, you can pull a coin from the favor bank any time you need." I'm not wasting an adverb on that.

"Someone sent me a fifty inch plasma with all the bells and whistles and forgot to sign the gift card."

"Clark, that's not a problem, that's winning the trifecta. When's movie night?"

"Never. I sent it all back."

"No, you didn't," Chloe whined.

"Yes, I did," he said. "I'm not going to accept a gift like that, especially if I don't know who it's from. I called Metro Plasma, but they won't give me any information. Can you call them? Get into their sales records?"

First we have Clark sounding very ethical not accepting the gift, but then in the same breath he asks Chloe to hack into the sales records of the store, which she does. It took her all of ten seconds to do it, too. I'm not kidding.

For the length of time it took Chloe to say, "Sounds like a move straight from the Lionel Luthor playbook," and for Clark to reply, "That was my first thought, too, but my mom called and he claims he had nothing to do with it," Chloe had not only accessed the site, hacked into the records, but had already gotten the answer to Clark's question. The person paid cash.

Are they now making Chloe's magic hacker skills an open in-joke on the show? Sort of like first season in Obscura when Whitney said they'd take his car on the Lana rescue mission and there was an awkward pause and Chloe said, "Uh ... that's okay, we'll take my car" as if they were humorously pointing out all the times Whitney had wrecked his vehicles first season?

Some fans believe she was taught her hacking skills by Gabriel, the kid from Hidden who wanted to drop a nuclear bomb on Smallville. However, all I could really find Gabriel saying was, "How much time did I spend at the Torch helping you chase the big story?"

The idea that "helping you chase the big story" translated into "teaching you to hack into any data base and computer in the world" is a big stretch, but who am I to shatter justification dreams?

Oh, well, Chloe suggested the gift might be from Lex.

"Lex? Why would he send me a home theater system?"

"Maybe he's feeling guilty," Chloe said, forgetting that she hadn't told Clark about seeing Lana and Lex making ... eye contact. Seriously, that's all Chloe walked in on a couple of weeks ago and both Lex and Lana denied anything more than friendship was going on. However, they've gotten quite cuddly since then.

"Guilty about what?"

Busted. "I don't know. I mean he hasn't been the best friend lately ... he also has been known to try and win you over with expensive toys."

"He did say he wanted to try and find some common ground. I'm gonna go talk to him."

Chloe made a whipped dog expression as her clueless sidekick toddled out to get a knife jabbed in the heart.

Meanwhile, Lois was multitasking ... in her own way. She was doing sit-ups and talking over a headset to a senator to get him behind Martha's bill. "What's the deal, Senator? Do you not like kids? Because a no vote on Senator Kent's bill is like ripping the textbooks out of their sticky little fingers." Ah, Lois, always the sentimental type.

After the call, Lois saw the villain of the story looking down at her. She leaped up and raised her hands in a defensive position. "Professional warning. I'm a third degree black belt. That means I can't be held liable for any funeral costs."

"Go easy on me, I'm a friend of Clark's," he said. "You his girlfriend?"

"Not in this lifetime."

That reply kind of reminded me of Lois on L&C saying, "Not in this millennium."

"I'm Lois. Lois Lane."

"Pleasure to meet you, Lois," he said and cautiously offered his hand. "I'm Graham."

She shook his hand, but moved back to her neutral corner.

Graham looked around. "So where's my plasma?"

"So you're the one who sent over all the high tech booty? I wanted to keep it, but Mr. 'I don't take candy from strangers' sent it all back this morning."

Graham sat down. "That's odd."

"That's Clark Kent. Can I ask why you're playing Daddy Warbucks with the guy? Because in my world, friends don't give friends twenty-thousand dollar toys."

"In my world they do," Graham said. "Is Clark around?"

Lois replied that he wasn't, but since she obviously found Graham attractive, she asked if he wanted to "hang out" until Clark returned. He agreed.

Hold the bus. I know Lois knows martial arts and I know the guy knows Clark and sent him the plasma TV, but he walked into the house without being invited. Where does he think he is, the Luthor mansion?

Speaking of the Luthor mansion ...

Lex, carrying a briefcase, walked into the study and saw Lana waiting for him on the library landing. He smiled with an unspoken, "Hi, honey, I'm home."

"I see you stepped up your security," Lana said and added that she had to make a pretty good case before they'd let her in. What case does an astronomy student make to enter Luthor mansion?

"You're not an easy person to say no to," Lex replied as she descended the steps.

"I couldn't wait any longer. I've been sitting by the phone. What did you find out in D.C.?"

Lex looked disappointed that that seemed to be the reason she was waiting by the phone. "Oh, a lot of plausible deniability. From the Pentagon to the White House, no one can verify the existence of Milton Fine."

"He says that he works in a covert branch of the government. Maybe it's more covert than we think," Lana suggested and it's weird she has much more interesting conversation with Lex than she ever did with Clark during their relationship.

"If he even works there at all."

"So those classified documents he gave you, you think they're forgery?"

"No, I had them authenticated, but that doesn't mean anything."

Lana shook her head. "We have no idea who this guy really is." Notice the 'we' in there.

"No, but don't worry, I'll find out," he said and then smiled. "You know, I was only gone a week, but I actually got a little homesick."

"What's so special about Smallville?" the Chosen One asked.

"Oh, I don't know. Cows, cornfields, wide open spaces."

Lana smiled. "I missed you, too."

I'm not going to ask if she's a cow, cornfield or wide open space because the first two sound insulting and the last one sounds dirty.

"You have no idea," Lex said and pulled her into a kiss that lasted more than long enough for Chloe's sidekick to wander up the hall and find them making out. I wonder what "good case" Clark made to get past the stepped up security.

I pictured a security guard with a clipboard asking Clark what business he had with Lex. "Assassin?"

"No."

"Girlfriend?"

"No."

"Ex-boyfriend of his girlfriend here to get a knife in the heart?"

"Yeah, that's me."

"Okay, go right in, he's expecting you."

Clark watched Lana and Lex a moment, his expression not really changing much. Then he walked back down the hallway, paused, his eyes shifted a little and he moved on.

Clark whooshed back to the Planet and angrily confronted Chloe. "You knew, didn't you? All those times I asked you how Lana was doing and you avoided it like the plague."

Chloe said nothing.

"You knew about her and Lex."

"I'm sorry, Clark, but I didn't think it was my place to get involved." Since when?

Clark looked hurt. "You're supposed to be my friend."

"I am your friend."

"You are?" Clark asked and the whole conversation landed them right back in high school. "Then why didn't you say anything?"

"Because I'm Lana's friend, too and she asked me to keep it a secret." And so like in gym class we took a totally sacred oath. "I thought you of all people would respect that."

"You know how dangerous Lex is. No friend of Lana's would ever let her get involved with him."

Clark, dear, you've known Lana was working with Lex. You could have told her he's dangerous back then when you and Lana were still a sexless item. Is he only dangerous to Lana when he's kissing her?

"Look, Clark, I wasn't exactly jumping for joy either, but Lana's a big girl." And if she's out of the way I might have a shot with you.

Clark started to leave. "Clark, where are you going?"

"Lana has no idea what she's getting herself into."

"Let me remind you that you broke up with her. That means Lana can date whoever she wants with or without your written permission."

"I know, but I still care about her and I don't want to just stand by and watch her get hurt."

"Look, I hate to be the one to say this, but you don't have a choice."

Then Clark completely regressed to high school and sulked in the loft. He looked at a photo of Lana and then angrily pushed it off onto the floor, breaking the glass.

"Let me guess," Graham said, as he picked up the photo. "Bad breakup? I've had a few of those."

Clark looked up from his angst, unaware Graham had entered the loft. "You're the guy from the courthouse."

"And you're a tough man to please. What's the matter, you don't watch TV?"

"Wait, you sent that?"

"I owe you my life. If not for Clark Kent, I'd be in a morgue right now with tire tracks across my forehead."

Clark asked how Graham located him and Graham mentioned the plot device press pass. He also mentioned that he drove through Smallville last year on business.

"Clark, if the big screen's not your thing, what is?"

"Your thank-you was fine. I appreciate the gesture, but you don't need to repay me."

"This isn't about you, Clark," he said, which could also apply to the whole premise of Smallville. "This is about me. I don't like to be in debt. I owe you my life. Let me at least buy you dinner. I'm staying in Metropolis, I'll take you out on the town."

Despite that being the best date offer Clark has gotten since before his relationship with Lana, Clark turned him down. "Thanks, but really, I'm okay."

"You're hanging out in a barn alone in the middle of nowhere. That doesn't sound too okay to me."

Clark smiled ... a weird smile

Later that evening a big noisy party was going on at Graham's penthouse digs as Clark arrived.

"Looks like the chicken finally flew the coop," Graham said. "I was getting worried about you, man."

"Yeah, I thought we were going to dinner. What's going on with the party?"

Graham talked about celebrating a 'killing' he'd made and that he was a headhunter. That it was his job to track people down ... for jobs. "I'd like you to meet my date," he said and tapped a woman on the shoulder and she turned around.

"Lois?"

"Smallville."

"I met her out at your house this morning. I couldn't disappear without seeing her again."

Clark tried to sound casual. "Lois, could I talk to you for a second?"

Lois kept a smile plastered on her face. "How about later?"

"It's fine," Graham said. "I'll be right back."

As soon as he left they both said, "What are you doing here?"

"Lois ..."

"Look, Clark, I actually happen to like this guy. So can you do me this one favor and pretend not to know me?"

"Lois ..."

"No," she said, raised her hands and left.

Then Graham returned and told Clark he should check out the view from the balcony and Clark said he wasn't crazy about heights.

"Trust me, it's worth it."

Clark strolled out onto the balcony, but wasn't alone long.

"Beautiful night, isn't it?" a woman asked as she approached Clark.

"Yeah, it is."

"I'm Gia."

"Hi, Gia, I'm Clark."

"I know a guy like you must have a girlfriend, huh?"

"Me? I ... don't," he said, but not in a moping tone. More like he was feeling shy as Gia came on to him.

"Do you want to take a tour? I hear the view from the bedroom is even better than the balcony," she offered and then kissed Clark.

He smiled and looked surprised.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't even know you."

"That's okay," she said, sliding her arms around his shoulders. "Graham warned me you might be shy."

"Graham?"

"He wants you to have a good time."

Clark's smile quickly faded with disappointment as he realized Gia was a ... professional caregiver. "I'm sorry. There must be some kind of misunderstanding," he said and left.

A short note here. In the spoilers for this episode, Gia was supposed to resemble Lana. While the actress did have a superficial resemblance, the producers must have thought better of casting a Lana lookalike in the role of a hooker.

Graham snagged Clark as he was trying to leave and asked where he was going.

"Look, if you want to do me a favor, just consider us even."

"Look, Clark, I apologize. I thought Gia was just what the doctor ordered, but I was wrong. You're a lot deeper than I gave you credit for. You must have really loved your ex." Yes, the greatest love of all time. "What's the problem? Let's get you two back together."

"It's a little late for that."

"It's never too late."

"It is when she's already with someone else."

"That might make it more difficult, but not impossible," he said and asked who Lana was dating.

"Someone I used to call my friend." Since when?

"If that's not crossing the line. That's just plain wrong." It would be, if they were still friends when Lana galloped over to Lex, but that's not how it happened.

"Yeah, but if you knew Lex Luthor, you wouldn't be surprised."

"That billionaire might be with her now, but don't lose faith, Clark. If it's meant to be, things have a way of working themselves out."

"Boy, I hope you're right."

He is right. At least in the sense of "meant to be" except that it's not meant to be Lana.

At Luthor mansion, Lex walked up a hallway talking on his cell phone. "Rest assured, Fine, we're close. The viruses are being genetically spliced as we speak."

Okay, so Lex is talking to Milton Fine, but telling Lana he doesn't know where he is? Or Lex can speak to Fine, but still doesn't know where he is? Either way, I don't think Lana knows Lex is in contact with him.

Lex noticed a tapestry on the wall move as if disturbed by a breeze. He shrugged it off and started back up the hallway. Suddenly Graham appeared and put a rope around Lex's neck and began choking him.

They thudded around in the hallway and finally entered the study where Graham got the upper hand. Lana entered and called out to Lex and then Graham vanished and Lex collapsed.

Lana ran to him and cradled him in her arms and called for help. Two security guards entered and she instructed them to call an ambulance. She's really become the lady of Luthor manor. "Lex," she whispered. "It's gonna be okay."

Clark showed up at the hospital and looked through the blinds into Lex's room. Lana was sitting beside him holding his hand. Lex was still unconscious.

When she noticed Clark looking in, she not so subtly disengaged her grasp from Lex and exited the room. "Chloe called me. She told me what happened. How's he doing?"

Lana said his trachea didn't collapse and that the doctor sedated him for the pain and that Lionel was on his way back from Singapore.

"You're a good friend for staying here with him like this," Clark said, dropping his hook in the water.

Lana averted her gaze and did that shifty-eye thing she does when her brain is processing information. "Someone should be here with him when he wakes up."

"Do they know who did this?"

Lana nodded. "I gave them a full description."

"You were there when it happened?"

"I was returning some books," she lied. "And I walked in on the attack."

"What does the guy look like?"

"Dark hair, dark eyes, about six feet tall. A black trench coat. He seemed to vanish into thin air." Always save the best clues for last.

At the Talon, Lois was putting a ton of sugar in her coffee. When she turned around, Graham was there.

"Quite a sweet tooth you've got there."

"My dentist would agree," she said. "I thought you were heading out of town."

"I was, but I couldn't get a certain someone out of my mind. Someone with a beautiful smile and apparently a lot of cavities." Don't wait around for me to call him a sweet talker, it won't happen.

"If you think I'm blushing, I'm just a little sun burnt."

Graham invited her to a Coldplay concert in Chicago and said he'd chartered a jet. "We'll have dinner on the plane. You like Italian?"

"Graham, if you want to go out, you don't have to play the whole jet-setter card."

He replied that it wasn't a card, it was a reality. That he worked for very large corporations that took good care of him.

Lois said that maybe she should get a job in the corporate headhunter field, but Graham said it could get a little "cutthroat." Barroom Ching!

"Look, I like jetting off to Coldplay concerts as much as the next girl, but really, I'm just as happy going down to Joe's for some Foggy Bottom burgers." In the comics it's Fat Belly burgers (same initials), but perhaps with the copyright infringement lawsuit, the writers are steering clear of things intrinsically linked to the comic books.

"I tell you what, we'll have Foggy Bottom burgers on the plane. Pick you up at six?"

"I'll be wearing my glass slippers."

Interesting Lois mentions glass slippers. Mort Weisinger, of comic book fame, has a theory he calls the Cinderella Fallacy. In this theory he states that Lois doesn't recognize Clark in glasses as Superman, not because she's galactically stupid, but because it's simply a vital part of the myth that she not see through the disguise.

Where does Cinderella come in? Well, in the famous fairytale, Cinderella's rags are transformed into a beautiful ball gown, her old shoes into glass slippers and a pumpkin into a fine coach with mice transformed into elegant horses to pull it.

However, Cinderella was warned by her fairy godmother to leave before midnight, because at that hour everything would turn back into what it was. Yet even though that takes place, one glass slipper inexplicably remains a glass slipper and does not revert back to an old shoe. Why? Because it has to remain a glass slipper for the story to work.

Believe me, I think there are better theories than the Cinderella Fallacy as to why Lois doesn't recognize Clark as Superman, but the fact that the theory exists and Lois referred to her glass slippers gave me a chance to go off on a wild tangent. Now back to the recap.

Later that day Clark went to Graham's penthouse believing he fit Lana's description of the guy who tried to kill Lex.

"Afraid the party's over," Graham said as he entered the room. "Clark, you know Lois pretty well. Is she a candy or flowers kind of girl?"

It has already been established that Graham isn't very observant since he almost got killed crossing the street, but he saw Lois empty half a silo of sugar into her coffee and made mention of her sweet tooth, but doesn't know if she'd prefer candy or flowers?

"You tried to kill Lex."

"Me? Why would I do that?"

"You have some sick idea you'd be doing me a favor."

Then Graham tried to clobber Clark with a heavy sculpture, but it just broke away. "Well, I guess I'm not the only one who's got a little secret," he said and vanished.

Clark ran to Chloe ... of course. She theorized that Graham was the Chameleon, the number 8 guy on the most wanted list. A guy who can vanish and kill people in secured areas under police protection is only number 8 on the list?

Clark decided to go after him, but Chloe warned that if Graham knew about his powers, he might also know Clark's weakness.

"How would he know about the meteor rocks?"

That question told me that Graham was eavesdropping. Clark refers to the meteor rocks as kryptonite and has since at least third season, but just as with Alicia, they have to say meteor rocks so that the eavesdropper knows what the hell they're talking about.

"He's the ultimate fly on the wall," Chloe said and her tone became concerned. "And he's buzzing over to the Talon later on tonight for his date with Lois. I better call her."

Clark hurried off.

Lois, like all the other girls on the show, finally got her stint in the shower.

Lois suddenly got the feeling she was being watched and looked over her shoulder. She turned off the water and pulled back the shower curtain. "Hello?" She saw a shadow moving back and forth under the door.

She stepped out of the tub and grabbed a back scrubber and walked towards the door. She turned the knob and pulled the door open rapidly with the scrubber raised over her head and ... a stunned Clark was on the other side.

His eyes immediately glanced down at the promised land and then rose back up to Lois's face where he made Ricky Ricardo unblinking eye contact with her.

Lois slammed the door, but Clark kept staring as if she left an after image.

Lois, now wearing a towel, exited the bathroom. "What are you doing here?"

"Lois, I've been calling, knocking on the door, how long have you been in there?"

"About an hour and a half."

"What?"

"Hey, you weren't just in my bathroom, were you?"

"Lois, I just walked into the apartment."

Lois looked around. "Well, that's weird, because I could have sworn someone was in there watching me."

"Graham."

"You're blaming Graham? That's pathetic."

"Lois, if you see him, you have to stay away." Actually if you don't see him he's more dangerous.

"Why is it you feel the need to lob a grenade at every guy I date?"

Obviously most of this scene was to give Clark payback from last year where Lois walked in on Clark in the shower and mentioned he was taking a marathon shower. Apparently they both like marathon showers.

Clark picked up Graham's movements with his super hearing and followed him out of the Talon and next to a street repair site. As soon as Graham materialized, Clark whooshed up to him, only to fall victim to kryptonite ... uh ... meteor rock.

Before knocking him unconscious, Graham told Clark he had to kill him, Lex and Lana to protect his secret. Villains are always accommodating about giving their plans away.

At the medical center, Lex regained consciousness and the dialogue hit that special goo factor that Lana brings with her.

"Hey," Lex said, seeing her adoring face nearby.

"Shh, you're not supposed to talk."

"I'm not supposed to do a lot of things," he said and touched his throat. Remember in a post from last year I said an actor placing his hand on his throat was an international symbol of bad dialogue. In this case it isn't bad, it's just generic.

That's an important distinction because a lot of this dialogue could have gone back and forth between Lana and Jason last year and Lana and Clark earlier this year. Especially when Lex looked at Lana and said, "I have too much to live for."

She smiled her 'Jason/Clark/Lex loves me' smile.

"Thanks for being here," he said. "As you can see there's not exactly a crowd of well-wishers knocking down my door to be at my bedside."

"Actually, I wasn't your only visitor. Clark stopped by earlier."

"It's too bad it takes a near death experience to bring old friends together," he whined. "Did you tell him about us?"

Lana poured Lex a glass of water. "I don't owe Clark anything, Lex. Especially the truth." Heck, even when Lana was in a relationship with Clark she didn't feel she owed Clark the truth.

"I know you're angry at him, but he deserves a modicum of respect."

"This isn't about anger. I'll tell him when I'm ready on my own terms."

"Lana, don't let him find out from someone else first," Lex said and a tragic piano played in the background.

Back at the Talon, now dressed and with dry hair, Lois checked herself out in the mirror, or at least until Chloe barged in. "Lois, where's Clark?"

"I have no clue. He just busted in here, warned me about Graham and took off."

"Do you have any idea where he went?"

"No, I wasn't exactly paying attention and you know what, to be perfectly honest I am getting a little tired of him thinking I need his approval to go on a simple date," Lois said as she put on her jacket. "Can you please tell me why Clark Kent is so obsessed with my love life?"

Chloe stepped forward. "Lois, Graham is a killer. A professional hitman."

Lois looked crushed, but also like the news didn't surprise her. "Of course he is," she said with resignation.

"We need to find Clark," Chloe said and the girls ran out of the apartment and out the side door of the Talon and began calling his name.

"The waitress said he ran out back, he couldn't have gotten that far."

Chloe dialed her cell phone. "You'd be surprised."

"Hey, Smallville!" Lois shouted.

They heard Clark's phone ringing at the site and began running towards the sound. They found his phone and bits of his red jacket were visible under a pile of dirt nearby.

Chloe and Lois began digging furiously. Lois turned him over while Chloe tossed away the kryptonite. Lois patted his face. "Come on, Clark, wake up."

Clark finally opened his eyes. "He's going after Lex and Lana."

Speaking of the love birds, Lex was in his hospital room sending an Instant Message to Fine.

MiltonFine: Is the compound virus ready?
LexLuthor: YES

I don't know why this struck me funny. Two huge villains in the Superman mythos sending IMs to each other. Gee, in the old days they'd have had view screens in secret lairs that made "weeee yooooooo" sounds as the villains tuned in and gave each other coded messages about taking over the world. Now they have chimes and smiley faces. Evil is so much more user friendly these days.

Lex saw someone approaching the door and reached for a pistol he had hidden under a towel. He sighed with relief when Lana entered and then placed the towel back over the pistol and closed his laptop. Again, he's clearly in contact with Fine, but still behaves as if he's keeping it from Lana.

She held up a gift wrapped box. "It's just me bringing you a little comfort," she said and pulled out some nice jammies. "I thought you'd prefer these to the uncomfortable hospital garb."

Hmm, generally when a woman gives a man pajamas, she has a little bit more than comfort on her mind.

"They're perfect."

Outside Lex's room, the guard was attacked by ... you know who. Lex saw the door open and grabbed his pistol and told Lana to get behind him. He began firing wildly in the room. He walked towards the door, still guarding Lana and then he saw drops of blood dripping on the floor.

Just as he looked up, Lex was slugged and went to his knees. A blood soaked hand picked up the pistol and Graham appeared.

"Lana, run!" Lex shouted as he got back to his feet.

The couple ran down the corridor with Graham in bleeding pursuit. He raised the pistol to fire and Lex crouched over Lana covering her. Clark arrived at that moment and whooshed through the corridor stopping the bullet. Graham collapsed.

"You saved my life," Lana said to Lex and gave him a little hero hug.

Clark looked on with the spent bullet in his hand, but surprisingly didn't look upset or angry. I know we're to see irony in Lana's statement, but the truth is if Clark hadn't shown up, Lex would have saved her life. He probably would have lost his in the process, but he had Lana completely covered. If Clark saved anyone's life, it was Lex's.

Lois entered the farmhouse the next morning and told Martha she'd gotten Senator Whitman's vote.

"That's great, Lois," she said and then looked at her a moment. "How are you? Clark told me what happened."

"Me?" Lois asked and shrugged. "I'm fine. Getting swept off my feet by a notorious hitman is just my way of livin' la vida loca." That line actually made me laugh and it was due in part to the delivery. A matter-of-fact sarcasm that Lois directed at herself.

Martha approached the table. "Well, there's no way you could have known the truth about him."

"Maybe," Lois acknowledged as she began fishing things out of her briefcase. "But it does confirm a disturbing trend in my life and as much as I'd like to deny it, I seem to be a magnet for guys who wind up on America's Most Wanted."

"Oh, I don't believe that."

"Trust me, you don't want to see the rap sheets," she said. "Why can't I just meet a decent guy from a decent family who happens not to be a psychopath?" The anvil of foreshadowing killed a cow in the front yard.

Martha took a seat at the table. "Oh, Lois, when I was your age I wasn't dating Prince Charmings either."

Lois smiled. "Really?"

"Yeah, I used to attract the dark mysterious type, too, until I met Jonathan."

Lois shook her head. "See, what worries me is when my Jonathan finally comes around, I'll be looking the other way and I'll miss him completely."

"You have to keep a closer watch. You know I think we go through these bad relationships for a reason."

"Well, if there's a reason for all the pain and aggravation, I'm dying to know."

Martha thought a moment. "Maybe you have to get through all the wrong men so you can recognize the right one." Not to mention Clark isn't ripe yet.

This was a nice scene between Lois and her future mother-in-law. Though the anvils of foreshadowing were heavy, the atmosphere was kept subdued and natural. This was also a scene where they seemed to parallel Erica's Lois with Teri's Lois since the L&C version was famous for her 'federal disaster' relationships.

Meanwhile, in Metropolis, Clark congratulated Chloe on her first front page byline. What happened to the headline she was working on in Vengeance? Oh, well, Chloe said Clark deserved the credit.

"Or the blame," Clark said. "If saving strangers ends up getting other people killed, I'm not sure that's the business I want to be in."

"Do you have a choice?" Chloe asked. "I mean I'm nowhere near super, but if I see someone drowning, I'm going to throw them a rope."

"And what if that person's a killer, Chloe? What if the world is better off without them?"

This gave me a chuckle. Not just because there's no way to know whether you're rescuing a killer unless you know that about the person ahead of time, but because Welling delivered the line like Beaver Cleaver. "But gee, Dad, what if the guy turns out to be a killer, or a clunky old girl?"

Standing in for Ward Cleaver is Ward Chloe. "That's not your choice to make. I mean ask a doctor, or a firefighter or anyone in the hero business. You save first and ask questions later." Thanks, Dad.

"I guess you're right. It's just not always that easy."

"Especially when the person you're saving is Lex Luthor."

Clark turned around. "I should never have questioned your friendship."

Chloe shrugged. "You were angry and I understand it's not exactly a walk in the park to see the one you love in the arms of someone else."

Here Chloe speaks from experience. If you'll recall near the end of second season, her crush on Clark had hit critical mass when she found Clark and Lana making out and keeping the whole thing a secret from her.

"Of all the people in the world, why Lex?"

"Just like you can't pick and choose the people you save, you can't control who your ex-girlfriend dates. It's just the way it is."

"You have no idea how hard it was to see them like that. It's like I couldn't breathe."

Chloe, her woebegone expression in place, nodded. "I'm sorry you had to find out that way. I know how much it must have hurt, but you know Lana's moved on. Maybe it's time you started doing the same thing."

Later that day, or the next day, Clark was disassembling his telescope. No, that's not a dirty metaphor, but it started to sound like one when Lana walked up to the loft and said, "I thought you loved that telescope."

"I did. It doesn't work anymore." Stop it, you're killing me!

"Lex got out of the hospital today."

"That's great," Clark said, still piddling with his telescope.

"Clark, when you and I were together, nothing bothered me more than when you were less than honest with me." No, really? "And I don't want to be like that."

This line also made me laugh. It was like she actually said, "When we were together you were a jerk and I don't want to be one."

"That's a good choice."

"At the hospital when I told you I was at the mansion to return some books, I was lying. Lex and I have actually been spending a lot of time together.

Clark smiled. "You know, I kind of noticed."

This was turning into a 1960s beach movie, but Clark would have been tinkering on a hotrod and Lana would be dating the rich kid who wears a smoking jacket or yachting togs and has a pencil thin mustache to make him look older and more sophisticated.

"Clark, it's more than that, we're seeing each other and I thought it would be best if you heard it from me first."

Clark stepped forward. "Lana, I know you don't want to hear this, especially from me ... you can't trust Lex."

"And I could trust you?"

"I just don't want to see you get hurt."

"I know you think you're being some kind of hero, Clark," she said with a nasty disdainful expression. "But the truth is, I don't need you to protect me."

She started down the stairs and Clark followed her. "Lana ..."

"Clark, it's over. You made that decision," she said and exited. That was also the end of the episode, by the way.

The main plot, as I said, wasn't really important or the focus of the episode. The characters and their pairings were. It's hard to say where things will end this season with the characters, but somewhere along the line Lana will discover that Clark was right. That Lex can't be trusted. Chloe, who probably still has a crush on Clark and so urged him to move on as Lana had, may end up in a rebound romance with Clark just as Lana ended up in a rebound romance with Lex.

I'm not sure how I feel about that since I don't get a romantic vibe from Clark and Chloe and probably wouldn't even if they were having sex on a grand piano while Liberace's ghost played Love is a Many Splendored Thing. It would simply be another doomed romance on a show that has no shortage of them. I'm not interested.

As for Lois, it was nice to have her back and the writers seem to have gotten back on track with her and Clark's interaction. None of that mindless slamming. I don't know where they're going with her character, but with Lois working for Martha, she might end up in the Lionel plot line --Lion-el.

All in all not a very memorable episode, but not a horrible one either. It just seems like a bit of a waste of one of the few remaining episodes. Oh, well, next week Brainiac is back and Zod is on the way and Lex gets hosed.

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