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5:16 Hypnotic
by Zoomway
After so many weeks absence since a new episode, there was an exceptionally long 'previously on Smallville' segment. It reminded us of the second meteor shower, the spaceship from that meteor shower, Professor Fine (Brainiac) and his 'death' in the Fortress of Solitude, Jonathan's death, Martha becoming a senator, Lionel watching a video of Clark rescuing Lana from an exploding warehouse and saying, "Your secret is safe with me, Kal-El" and Lana asking Clark if he still loved her and Clark's deadpan emotionless response, "I've always loved you and I always will."
After all that, the episode opened in Honduras with a CDC-like team of two men investigating a modern plague in a small village. When they came upon a victim of the mysterious virus, she was displayed in a graphic passionless manner. The men began to take blood samples.
As soon as blood was extracted, the undead Professor Fine showed up. He was warned by one of the men that it was a quarantined hot zone and to get out, but Fine kept approaching. He snatched the sample from the man's hand and tore off his protective helmet. The man screamed and fell to the ground. The other man charged Fine, but he morphed a finger into a metal shard and pierced the man through the helmet and then set everything on fire. Yep, Smallville is back.
After the opening titles, Clark and Lana had coffee at the good old Talon after apparently returning from a date. What happened to their 'break from us' period? It never happened, that's what happened. Anyway, after an inane conversation about Clark's bad dancing where Lana kept up that odd mirthful tone like everything was gigglicious, she got down to the horny heart of the matter.
"Chloe happens to be pulling an all-nighter at the Daily Planet."
Clark's lightning quick snyapses fired. "So you have the dorm room all to yourself."
"All to ourselves," Lana corrected with a lecherous grin.
You know, if a male character seemed to end each date with a sexual proposition, the girl would begin to think that's all the guy wanted from their relationship. Especially a relationship like Clark and Lana's that is filled with insipid conversation when they're happy and ultimatums and sulking when they aren't.
Clark smiled awkwardly and said it sounded great but it was going to rain and so he had to put up tarps at the farm.
Lana, who knew it was an excuse to avoid intimacy and because she's the epitome of understanding ... at least when the script calls for her to be, said, "Clark, whenever you're ready, I'll be waiting. As long as it takes. No pressure."
This attitude is quite different from Fanatic and Lockdown where Lana became angry when her sexual overtures were rejected.
She rose from the table and departed without a good-bye kiss. Then a woman who looked like she stepped out of Gold Diggers of 1935 (and played a pregnant stripper on Desperate Housewives) walked over to Clark and said she was glad Lana finally left. She introduced herself as Simone and when Clark tried to leave, she put her fingers on a blue gemstone she wore around her neck and told Clark he wasn't going anywhere until she told him to.
"Okay," he replied.
"You're going to believe everything I tell you and do everything I say starting now."
"What do you have in mind?"
Clark and Simone began to have a 'romantic' interlude in the alley behind the Talon. As the kissing and groping intensified, Lois drove up. "Smallville? What the hell are you doing?"
The couple disengaged and Clark smiled. "Lois, I'd like you to meet Simone, my new girlfriend."
Lois's eyebrows raised and then the scene switched to Lex studying a page on his laptop that involved Professor Fine.
Lana arrived. "I got your text message."
He apologized for interrupting her Saturday night, but "thought you'd be interested."
"That's okay, I was just on my way back to Metropolis," she said. "What's going on?"
Lex brought up the spaceship and that Professor Fine had been seen at the warehouse where the ship had been stored and that he and the ship both disappeared the same day. He also said that Fine was last spotted in Honduras and so was taking the Luthor jet there to try and find him. Lana asked to go, but Lex felt it would put her in too much danger, but promised to tell her everything when he got back.
Meanwhile, back at the Kent farm, Clark was serving Simone apple pie. No, really, he was. Anyway, she wished she had some champagne and Clark whooshed off to Metropolis and got some. Intrigued by this, she requested chocolate-covered strawberries, which he also whooshed out and retrieved. Of course he would have had to have stolen the champagne from the liquor store because he's under 21.
This was somewhat similar to Clark on L&C whooshing back and forth bringing Lois everything from Swiss chocolate to snow from the Andes. However, unlike Lois who didn't want Clark fulfilling her idle fantasies, Simone realized her hypnotized love slave had potential for bigger and better things.
She instructed Clark to call Lana and invite her over.
Lois arrived in Metropolis and dished the dirt with Chloe about Clark and Simone. Chloe conceded that anything was possible, but couldn't believe that Clark would do such a thing unless something had happened to him.
"I know you have this whole hero worship thing for the guy," Lois said, "but face it, Clark is no different than any other red-blooded guy. His brain is not his commanding officer."
"He wouldn't do this to Lana," Chloe insisted.
"He already has and if Lana's our friend we need to send up a warning flare ..."
"No, hold your fire. Now before you utter one word about this to Lana, I just ..."
On cue Lana walked into the dorm room. "One word about what?"
Chloe quickly cooked up a story about Lois needing to stay in the dorm room a couple of nights because the heater in the Talon apartment was on the fritz. Lois put on a smile and went along with Chloe's story.
Lana said it was fine for Lois to stay and then answered her cell phone. It was Clark, of course, needing to see her urgently. Lana excused herself and hurried out the door.
This is a big problem the show has now that action takes place in both Metropolis and Smallville. I've brought this up before, but it has gotten ridiculous. Metropolis is a three hour drive from Smallville. Lana had just made that long trip and now she has to turn around and drive all the way back. Six hours of doing nothing but driving, yet the way the scenes play out, you'd think the two towns were only a few minutes from each other.
As a bonus, here's Chloe and Lois dipping into a cereal box and snacking as they contemplated the unpleasant fate that awaited Lana. Little touches like this one are rare on Smallville, but they are what separate the cousins from the rest of the characters and why people look forward to them having scenes together. Their natural chemistry and easy interaction make their relationship the most believable on the series.
While Lois's expression imparted sympathy for Lana's plight, Chloe's wheels were turning wondering what was affecting Clark. She knew, under normal circumstances, Clark wouldn't cheat on Lana.
This also explains why Clark and Lana were suddenly dating again when they were nowhere near being a happy dating couple the last time we saw them. If the writers hadn't forced the couple back together, then some might have argued that Clark wasn't cheating on Lana with Simone because Clark and Lana, at her request, were on a break from each other.
I won't hazard a guess what Clark and Simone were up to during Lana's three hour drive back to Smallville, but during the last 10 minutes of that drive they decided to saunter into the barn. Simone asked 'Lightning Legs' what else he could do and he bent an aluminum bat into an 'S' for Simone.
Then she told him to take off his shirt and Simone took off her top, her fetching lacy bra still in place, and then told Clark to make love to her. Clark cautioned her that he could hurt her because of his powers, but she said it was a risk she'd be willing to take and so, like all the other perfunctory boring love scenes on Smallville, another one got under way.
Lana, who should have a backache from hell after driving six hours, walked in on the near sex scene. "Oh, God," she whispered and then ran out.
"You don't care about her anymore, Clark," Simone said. "Go tell her that it's over."
Clark caught up to her and grabbed her arm. "Lana, wait."
Lana spun around disengaging Clark's grip. "This is why you couldn't spend the night with me." It's always about sex.
"Lana, I've fallen in love with someone else."
Lana left the barn, crumpled and began to cry.
Simone ... at what hour or day in relation to everything else, I have no idea ... walked into Lex's study and addressed him on a big view screen while he winged his way to Honduras.
"Do I ever get to meet the billionaire boy wonder face to face?"
"As much as I'd like to admire you up close and personal, I prefer to hold on to my free will," he replied and then asked for a progress report.
"Let's just say that Lana Lang won't be sending Clark any more Valentine's Day cards."
"And what about Clark? Have you discovered anything unusual about him?"
"Absolutely."
Lex leaned forward. "What is it?"
"Clark Kent is the most extraordinary ... kisser."
"There must be more."
She assured Lex that with Clark, what you see is what you get (sound familiar?), "a corn-fed farm boy." Then she asked Lex to free her from their alliance since she had accomplished her mission.
Lex said he had one more person he wanted Simone to meet in Honduras and she balked, but Lex reminded her that he had unearthed evidence that could put her behind bars for the rest of her life.
The next morning (I guess), Chloe showed up at the barn where Clark was moving metal tanks around. I guess there are no hay bales this time of year. Clark surmised that Chloe had spoken to Lana and Chloe acknowledged she had, at least what she could hear over Lana sobbing.
Chloe was a bit perplexed by the situation. She knew if Clark was on red K, he wouldn't be doing chores, and if he had been on silver K (which was really something Brainiac cooked up), Clark would be a raving paranoiac. "What happened to you, Clark?"
"I fell in love."
"I don't think you fell, I think you were pushed ... off a cliff."
"Chloe, just because you know my secret, it doesn't mean you know how I feel."
"Yeah, but I do know you'd never intentionally hurt Lana like this." Keep that line in mind for later.
Clark reminded Chloe that she had been the one who said his relationship with Lana was never going to work unless he told Lana his secret. "And you know what? You're right."
"So how are things going to be any different with Simone?"
"I told Simone about my powers."
That was all Chloe needed to know. It was suddenly clear that whatever was going on was out of Clark's control because he would never tell someone he just met about his powers. Chloe warned Clark to stay away from Simone.
"You don't even know Simone," Clark countered and told her to back off.
Since Clark was a dead end (no comment), Chloe decided to look for Simone. She entered the farmhouse and began to look around. She spotted a purse on the counter, but before she could make a move for it, Simone, wrapped only in a towel, began walking down the stairs.
"Hi, you must be Simone. I'm Chloe, Clark's friend. It's really great to finally meet you."
Simone moved her hand closer to her necklace. "Hello."
"I'm so glad Clark hooked up with you. I mean he was just miserable with Lana and now I've honestly never seen him so happy," Chloe said, dancing as fast as she could to avoid whatever whammy Simone possessed. "You two are really perfect for each other."
"That's nice to hear," Simone said and moved her hand away from her necklace. "You know where he is?"
"Yeah, he's out in the barn."
When Simone opened the screen door to step out and call Clark, Chloe rifled her purse and grabbed her driver's license.
Meanwhile, in Honduras, Lex finally arrived at a camp apparently set up by Fine, who gave a variation on the 'if I knew you were coming, I'd have baked a cake' line, but his involved tea and petit fours. It must be a metro-sexual alternative.
"You knew I was coming?"
"When you leave a trail of bread crumbs, it's no surprise when the crow comes calling."
Lex asked why he didn't just call and Fine said he had to be sure that Lex was dedicated to his cause before he revealed his true identity.
"I hate to disappoint you," Lex said, "but I already know what you are."
One of Fine's fingers morphed into a steel shard behind his back.
"And it's not a professor of history, is it? No, it's something much more exciting. Tell me, what's the benefits package of a government operative working for a covert branch of the State Department?"
The shard vanished. Lex's ignorance saved his life, but I can't help thinking Brainiac was a bit disappointed by the sloppiness of his adversary.
"Very good. You found that bread crumb all on your own."
Lex then asked Fine why he had posed as a history professor in a Kansas farm town.
"I was investigating the possibility of an extraterrestrial presence."
Lex was intrigued. "This investigation, did it bear any fruit?"
"Well, we believe a spacecraft of unknown origin touched down during the recent meteor shower, but an individual with quick reflexes and vast resources was able to get to it before we could."
Lex deduced that was the reason Fine had been investigating LuthorCorp and Fine let him believe it since it suited his purposes. "I admire the advances you've made in the name of science. Too bad you couldn't get into that ship when you had the chance."
After a tangent about ancient Mayans, Lex said, "You believe it's in Honduras."
"Well, I'm certainly not here for the coffee." Just tea and petit fours.
Back at the Planet, Chloe explained her theory that Clark was hypnotized.
Lois was skeptical. "I've heard of hypnotism used to lose weight or stop smoking, but to reduce Clark to some goo-goo eyed love slave?"
"This isn't just over-the-counter hypnotism. This is prescription strength and it never wears off," Chloe said and booted up the magic computer. There was an article about a hypnotist who was murdered last year and he just happened to be Simone's father.
Lois looked at the man's photo. "I've seen that jewel."
"So have I," Chloe said and handed Lois the driver's license she had stolen. "It's around Simone's scrawny little neck. It's an ancient family heirloom that dates back to the great alchemists of medieval England. It was also the only thing stolen."
"Are you saying Simone's responsible for her own father's death?"
"Well, if it meant getting daddy's hyper hypno-power, maybe. I just think it's a little bit cocky to wear it around your neck like an Olympic medal."
"Not if you can make any cop believe that you're innocent," Lois countered. "What I don't understand is of all people, why go after Clark?"
"I don'tk know," Chloe replied. "But we definitely need to snap him out of it soon before he does something that he can't ever come back from."
Lois handed Simone's driver's licence back to Chloe. "Well, what are we waiting for? Let's move."
Chloe said she had to grab something first and would meet Lois there. As soon as Lois left, Chloe opened a drawer and pulled out a chunk of kryptonite. Chloe is on the Clark Friends and Family Kryptonite plan. No roaming charges.
Speaking of roaming, Lex and Fine hiked to a small village where a boy handed a carved replica of the spaceship to Fine and he handed it to Lex stating that the boy's father had carved it after claiming to have seen a chariot of fire in the sky (I knew Smallville's lore came from that book). Seriously, how many Hondurans, or anyone else for that matter, would describe an arrow head shaped object as a chariot? Heck, when was the last time you used the word chariot to describe anything other than an actual chariot?
Lex wanted to talk to the man, but Fine said that days after the sighting, the man's charred remains were found.
"Despite urban myths," Lex said as he tossed the carving back to the boy. "Human beings don't spontaneously combust."
"We believe whoever or whatever was in that ship incinerated the man." He should know. "In fact we suspect this alien race poses a grave threat to the entire planet."
Lex asked Fine what they were doing to defend against the threat and Fine said they were working on a weapon that could benefit from LuthorCorp's assistance. Then Fine started buttering his pigeon. "We're well aware of your tireless quest for extraterrestrial life, Mr. Luthor. Your tenacity is impressive."
Lex said he would help, but "I want unrestricted access to all your data."
"That's a bold request."
"Well, without it, this discussion is over," Lex said and began to leave.
"I'm not sure you understand me, Mr. Luthor. If we don't work together, there may not be a LuthorCorp or a government left. Think about that on your flight home."
Lois, after making the famous 3 hour trek to Smallville, walked into the farmhouse and blocked Clark's path. "Where ya off to, Romeo? A motel with vibrating beds?"
"Simone and I are going to California, that way I can get away from your running commentary," he said and tried to walk past her.
Lois put up her hand. "Whoa, my running commentary says you're hypnotized. Now Clark, you need to drop your suitcase, because you're not going anywhere."
"I'm asking you nicely. Step aside," he said and again tried to walk past Lois.
This time she put her hand on his chest. "Look, I didn't want to have to do this, but if necessary, I'm gonna have to take you down."
Clark smiled since he found the threat amusing, but he didn't move forward. Instead, Simone entered. "I see we have a visitor."
Lois came prepared. She put on a pair of sunglasses and turned around. "I suggest you return your boy toy back to normal before I reach over and rip out those pearly white teeth of yours."
Simone sighed. "Clark, be a love and knock her out."
"Yeah, right," Lois snarked.
Clark tapped her on the top of her head with one finger and Lois fell to the floor. A moment later Martha walked in. "Oh, my God, what happened?"
Then Simone put the whammy on Martha and told her to do whatever it takes to prevent Lois from following them. Then she told Clark they were making a stop at the Luthor mansion so Clark could kill Lex.
"He's a dead man," the boy toy replied.
Lois awoke on the kitchen floor and heard the clack of a pump shotgun chambering a round. Martha pointed the barrel at Lois, who tried to convince Martha to put the gun down. Martha replied, "I don't like it any more than you do, Lois, but it's the only way to keep you here."
SMACK. Chloe clobbered Martha with a rolling pin and knocked her out. The body count continues. Chloe asked where Clark was.
"While I was seeing stars, I think his girlfriend said she wanted to go to the Luthor mansion, or something," Lois explained as she pulled a bag of frozen fruit out of the freezer and placed it on her head. "So why don't you stay here and keep Mrs. Kent ..."
Chloe was gone. She's been the hero this season, so maybe she learned the 'whoosh' thing and left at super speed.
Lex entered his study after returning from Honduras and found Clark waiting for him. Clark picked Lex up and tossed him several feet into the ubiquitous glass table that Luthors always land on.
Dumb line alert. "Clark, you've been hypnotized," Lex said. "How else could you throw me across the room like that?"
Yes, Lex, if you ever see him bend steel in his bare hands, check the room for swaying pendants.
Clark picked Lex off the floor and shoved him into the wall. He pulled back his fist, but Lex quickly explained about how Simone had murdered her father to get the gem and that he had the whole thing on surveillance tape.
That halted Clark for a moment, but Simone entered and told Clark not to believe anything Lex said. "Finish him off, Clark and make him suffer."
Clark hoisted Lex off the ground by his neck and began to throttle him, but suddenly the kryptonite chimes sounded and Clark collapsed. Chloe put the kryptonite in Clark's pocket and Lex grabbed a pistol and pointed it at Simone. She, in turn, pointed her necklace at Lex and instructed him to kill Chloe and then himself.
Chloe grabbed Lex's arm and they struggled for the gun and then the gun went off and the bullet went through the gemstone and presumably what little fraction of a heart Simone possessed. This marks the second time this season someone has died while Chloe was struggling for control of a gun. Maybe it's one of her super powers. A kind of Kevorkian pistol assisted killing technique.
When Lex went over to the body, Chloe de-kryptonited Clark and tossed the meteor down the hallway. I'll assume she picked it up as they exited.
The next day at the Planet Clark told Chloe that it was all like a dream and that he remembered "every gory detail," which prompted Chloe to ask if he and Simone ever (you know). "No, thank God," Clark said and that made Chloe all giggly and happy. She then said the moral of the story was to never stare into the eyes of a seductive woman wearing a sparkling gemstone around her neck, "unless, of course, her name is Lana Lang," Chloe clarified. "Have you talked to her yet? You guys kiss and make up?"
When Clark didn't respond, she realized he hadn't told Lana and wondered why. Chloe assured him that Lana would understand since he had no control over what happened.
"Maybe I don't want her to understand," Clark replied. "See, as horrible as this whole thing was, it at least accomplished something I didn't have the guts to do. It broke me and Lana up."
"What?" Chloe asked and then tugged Clark into a private office.
"Chloe, how many times can I break someone's heart before it crumbles to pieces?"
"Yeah, but it wasn't your fault. You were hypnotized."
"Lana wasn't. Chloe, her feelings were real. The look of pain in her eye (yes, just one) when she walked in on Simone and I. It made me realize (dumb line alert) that my power to hurt Lana is stronger than all my powers put together."
Chloe countered that a woman with hocus pocus jewelry isn't an every day occurrence.
"Yeah, but hurting Lana has become one and as long as I have to lie to her about who I really am, I'm going to cause her pain."
"And as long as you don't set the record straight, she's going to hate you."
"Maybe that's not such a bad thing. Maybe it'll help her get on with her life, forget I ever existed. Find someone who can give her what she deserves." Oh, man, welcome to As the Teen Turns.
"You just need to know if you do this, that's it. Game over. There's no more quarters left. I mean you're saying good bye forever. It will crush her, Clark." Are you sure? I really need some more metaphors before I'm clear on this. "Please just think long and hard before you end this for good."
Clark at least thought about it till sundown as Lana arrived at the loft, upstaged by the beautiful fake sunset blazing through the window. "I've climbed these steps so many times before, why do they seem steeper than ever?" Astronomers don't get enough exercise?
"Thanks for coming by, I didn't want to bother you at school," i.e., thanks for making the 3 hour drive again.
"Clark, you can spare me the speech about how sorry you are. I know you were hypnotized and you weren't in control of your actions."
"I need to be honest with you."
"That would be refreshing."
"I don't know of any other way to say it, but the truth is, my feelings for you have changed."
Then Lana repeated a line almost word for word that she had said to Jason last year. "I want you to look me in the eye and tell me that you don't love me."
Clark turned around and looked her in the eye. "I don't love you."
Lana stepped back, stunned. It had worked on Jason, he couldn't do it. "I have waited for you to grow up, to get over whatever hang-ups you may have ..."
Clark knelt down. "I never meant to hurt you."
Her eyes and voice turned cold. "I don't want another Clark Kent apology. It's over. Forever." Exit Lana.
This was followed by a brief clip of Honduras where Brainiac and three replicas of Brainiac oozed out of the spaceship. The main Brainiac told his replicas that they needed more samples (of blood?) and they all whooshed off in different directions.
At Kent farm, Martha poured Clark a cup of tea. "How did she take it?"
"I've never seen her so hurt ... so angry. Saying those words was the hardest thing I've ever had to do."
Martha shook her head. "You're an adult now, Clark." Not according to Lana. "In an adult relationship." Not according to the teen breakup dialogue. "They rarely end the way we want them to."
"I just didn't know what else to do. It was either make a clean break, or tell her my secret."
"I know you didn't tell Lana the truth because you wanted to protect her," Martha said. "But maybe there was actually more to it."
Clark looked confused. "What do you mean?"
"Do you think you didn't tell her because maybe deep down you didn't think she was the one?"
Clark actually did think about it a moment and made no instant protestations to the contrary, but then said, "Mom, I'll always love Lana,;" but without the usual lovesick inflection. I'd like to think Clark is beginning to understand that a first love doesn't usually equal an ultimate love. Of course he'll likely have some jealous tantrums over Lana and other conflicting problems, but Martha's suggestion means nothing until it's Clark himself who reaches that conclusion. Though this isn't the first time Martha suggested that maybe Lana wasn't the one. She also made that comment in Lockdown. After Clark said he couldn't imagine loving anyone but Lana, Lois drove up.
"I know," Martha said. "That's why you did this, but you just didn't break her heart, Clark, you gave her reason to hate you. I just hope her anger doesn't drive her to do something we'll all regret."
I'd say that if Lana's love could turn to hate and she'd do something hurtful, then she's definitely not "the one" or even a friend. Chloe nearly betrayed Clark once out of anger and hurt feelings. She relented and didn't do it, but that kind of vindictive tempation goes far beyond dumping an ex-boyfriend's clothes on the lawn and setting them on fire. This is more like setting them on fire while the guy is still wearing them. Do I really need to say Lana ran to Lex? I didn't think so.
When Lana entered the room, Lex stood and began to tell her what he found out about Fine, but Lana wasn't interested. "Lex, I'm not here to talk about Milton Fine. I actually wanted you to be the first to know."
"Is everything okay?"
"Clark and I broke up .. for real."
"Lana, I'm sorry ..."
"That's okay, don't be," she said and sat on the sofa. "I actually do feel like a hundred tons of secrets and lies (her credo) have been lifted off my shoulders. You know what it's like being friends with Clark. No matter what he tells you, you don't know if it's the truth. You can never trust him."
Lex sat next to her. "Lana, I know Clark is probably not the easiest guy to be in a relationship with, but I don't think he means..."
Lana raised her hand. "Please don't defend him, Lex. How could I have been so stupid?"
"You're not stupid. You just put your trust in the wrong person," said the spider to the fly.
Okay, that's the end. I won't really believe Clark and Lana are finished unless the series ends tomorrow. There's been way too much yo-yo writing where their relationship is concerned. The best I can say is I hope it's finally over. It's way beyond time for Clark to move on, not just from Lana, but toward his future as Superman. Though unless he, instead of Chloe, becomes the true hero of the show, I don't see that happening soon either.
Next week, Lana gets hooked on dead people.
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