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Reviews
5:01 Arrival
by Zoomway
Well, this is real late, but I guess not even a hurricane could stop me. I want to thank Chris for taping the episode for me. You might want to get a tent and flashlight. This one is long even for me.
After the customary "previously on Smallville" recap, which was mainly of the last few episodes, the crystal that Clark had tossed in the arctic last year finally built the Fortress of Solitude while strains from the old Chris Reeve Superman movie played.
Clark stepped into the crystal palace with an amazing lack of awe. A computer graphic crystal shard flew up and Clark caught it and still no look of amazement or even vague interest stirred his features.
"Kal-El," the voice that wouldn't die intoned. "You have traveled far. One journey has ended. A new journey is about to begin. Welcome home, my son."
This is where Gene Hackman would come in handy. This kind of stilted dialogue needs someone to puncture the windbag pomposity of it all.
Then we had the opening theme. Same music, but new graphics. Generally I wouldn't have wasted a screen capture on this, but Lois Lane (Erica Durance) was included for the first time. More than that, though, I wanted to point out that the name of the actress who plays Lana Lang was misspelled.
That's right. An actress who has been on the show for all four years and going into the fifth had her named spelled Kristen instead of Kristin, as it should have been spelled. Is this a first in TV history? It'll sure cost them a pretty penny to remaster a title sequence. You'll probably find the poor guy in the unimploymint line.
Lana, which I've spelled correctly, was last seen in the finale looking down into a crater that contained a spaceship. Her helicopter had crashed and she had to drag herself to the crater. However, when she saw two people about to emerge, she got up on her gams pretty fast and hobbled down the hill. Unfortunately the aliens had that fast "whoosh" power and had no trouble getting down the hill before her.
"Please don't hurt me," Lana whimpered. This was interesting because the aliens had done nothing provocative or hostile and hadn't even spoken. Plus they looked completely human. Yet Lana instantly assumed they were bad. Of course this could be continuity back to the episode Visitor where Lana said she'd be a little freaked out if she ever met a real alien. She was freaked out, all right.
Soon, though, the aliens confirmed her unfounded fears. The instant police cars and helicopters showed up, the aliens began destroying them. Lana bolted and hid in the weeds watching the carnage. As soon as only smoldering remains were left, the female alien asked, "Where's the girl?"
The male alien, who must have watched the show all four seasons, replied, "She's irrelevant." He added that they had to find Kal-El.
When the female turned, Lana saw a tattoo on the small of her back, the same location Lana's tattoo had been all last season, which turned out to have no significance whatsoever.
Lois, who had seen the ruins of Smallville from a ridge overlooking the town in last season's finale, did a great bootlegger turn into the Kents' driveway. When she exited the car, she saw Shelby, so anyone worrying if the dog made it can relax.
Lois ran into the wrecked farmhouse. "Oh, my God," she whispered.
"Martha!" Jonathan called out as he tossed planks and other debris aside.
Lois ran towards Jonathan. "Mr. Kent, are you okay? Mrs. Kent! Clark!"
"Clark wasn't even here," Jonathan said. "He's okay."
Lois joined Jonathan's quest and began tossing junk in every direction. "Mrs. Kent!"
Lois finally uncovered a hand, yes, it was attached. "Here! She's here!"
"She's barely breathing," Lois said.
Jonathan insisted that Martha would be fine and touched her face. "We're gonna get you out of here," he said, his voice cracking slightly as he looked up at Lois. "Can you help me ... get her out of here?"
Lois nodded.
This was well acted by Schneider. His voice sounded tearful and desperate when he asked Lois for help.
Lex, who had forced Chloe to go to the caves with him in the finale, was knocked unconscious by the teleportation beam that had sent Clark to the arctic.
"Chloe!" he shouted as he stumbled to his feet. "Where are you, Chloe?"
He staggered into the once hidden inner chamber and removed the octagon key from the ceremonial stone. No sooner had he begun to examine it then the two guest Kryptonians whooshed in.
Lex turned around. "Everything's under control here, officers. You're needed elsewhere."
I'm not sure why Lex called them 'officers' but it did seem as if they had changed from their black leather togs into outfits made of cloth, but it was too dark to see exactly what.
The female x-rayed Lex's hand. "He has the key." And shooop, the key flew to her hand.
"Who are you?"
"Are you Kal-El?" the male asked.
Lex picked a bad time to be coy. "Who wants to know?"
The male began throttling Lex as the female walked behind and noticed his neck was bleeding. "It's not him," she said in that flat tone aliens love to sport. "Kal-El would not bleed."
The male threw Lex across the cave and the couple exited. As the episode wore on it became clear that throttling and throwing were their preferred approach to interrogation.
Chloe awoke in a pile of snow and called out for Clark. As she turned she saw the Fortress of Solitude and headed towards it. Meanwhile inside the fortress, Clark, who was still clutching the crystal, said, "I thought Krypton was destroyed."
"It was," Jor-El replied. "But here, in your Fortress of Solitude, the geography of our planet has been replicated for your training."
I hate this whole idea, but I'll get to that later.
"I know there's a lot I can learn from you, but I have to get home. That's where I'm needed."
"The meteor shower was merely a precursor. A dark force from Krypton has been awakened, Kal-El, and its sights are set on Earth," or "Uth" as he pronounces it.
Clark looked up. "What do you want me to do?"
"You must do as I tell you." There's a surprise.
Then the SCOK (Shower Curtain of Krypton) appeared around Clark. It's basically a wall of digital pictures orbiting around him with all the cool brainwashing stuff one would expect. It also included footage from the first Superman movie where you see people falling off Krypton as it explodes.
"Study with diligence," Jor-El continued, slapping a hickory stick across his palm menacingly. Okay, we can't see him doing it, but I'm sure he is. "For that is the only way to save this planet."
Chloe finally trudged into the Fortress, her teeth chattering. When she got too close to the SCOK, it seemed to send out a mini-blizzard that drove her back and hastened her popsicle condition. "Clark," she whispered in a strangled cry.
Finally Clark, his concentration broken by Chloe's plea for help, busted out of the SCOK and ran to her side.
"Kal-El, you must continue your education. You cannot stop." And he cannot use contractions.
Clark pulled Chloe to him. "She's my friend. She needs help."
"Your destiny is far greater than saving one human life."
"No, I won't let her die!"
"Each time you let human-learned emotions guide you, you put the fate of the entire planet at risk. That is your weakness, Kal-El."
I'd like to think the writers are setting us up for Clark realizing how wrong Jor-El is. That without human-learned emotions he's of no use to the people of Earth and that there's even a parallel with Lois who tries so diligently to hide her more vulnerable emotions because she feels they make her weak. Then I realize ... nah, nothing deep is going on here.
"Please, I'm begging you."
"Very well," Jor-El said. "Under one condition. You must return to me before the yellow sun is set." Hey, Jor-El, we only have one sun. There's no need to lob adjectives at it to distinguish it from some other sun. Even this version of Clark Kent can figure it out.
"I'll be back, I promise."
"Do not fail me, Kal-El, or the consequences will be grave." Aren't they always?
"You have my word," Clark replied.
Chloe shivered. "Hey, I think it's time you switch into Super Clark mode now."
Clark looked stunned. "Super Clark?"
"I know you run faster than a speeding bullet, Clark. Take me along for the ride."
And he did.
Meanwhile Lex was speeding down the highway so that he could apparently find Lana limping down the road. Mission accomplished.
"Lana, what happened?"
"They're still out there," she wheezed. "They'll kill us if they find us."
"It's okay, you're safe now. Lana, you need to get off that leg, I'll call a doctor."
But Lana kept up her Walter Brennan impersonation as she hobbled up the interstate. "You don't understand, we're not safe, no one's safe!"
Lex grabbed her.
"Don't touch me!"
"You're in shock, it's over! The meteor shower is over."
"There's a man and a woman, they're right behind us, they came out of ..."
Lex turned her around. "Out of what?"
"A spaceship."
"Where?"
"Lander's Field." One of the many named fields.
Now that Lex had the location, he stroked Lana's hair and dismissed her sighting as her mind playing tricks on her.
Lana pushed him away insisting it was real and then hobbled a few more steps and collapsed.
Then we cut to a hospital in the Yukon where Chloe has finally thawed out and we get something of a rip-off of the L&C episode We Have a Lot to Talk About.
"I wonder who's more freaked out right now," Chloe said. "Me, knowing I'm in a hospital where they get their medicine via dogsled, or you, finally finding out I know your secret.
"How long have you known?" Clark asked flatly as he skulked in the background.
In We Have a Lot to Talk About, Clark said, "I guess the first question would be, 'How long have you known?'"
On Smallville Chloe nattered on about always having her suspicions, which included his quick exits, miraculous recoveries and lame excuses. "But I think it's when you caught a car like it was a beach ball that kinda confirmed everything."
What bothered me here is that Chloe would not have seen Clark catch that car if Alicia hadn't teleported Chloe to that spot for that express purpose. Alicia believed that Chloe, as a reporter, would have splashed the story all over the front page. Maybe Chloe didn't mention Alicia betraying his secret to protect Clark's memory of her, but it's clear with the next exchange, that Chloe was leaving everyone out who had something to do with the secret and why she didn't tell Clark she knew.
Clark moved forward. "Why didn't you say anything?"
This is where Chloe should have explained that she asked Lois hypothetically what she would do if she found out a secret about someone and whether she should tell the person she knew their secret. And that Lois replied, "If I really cared about that person, I wouldn't tell them that I knew, but I would go out of my way to be supportive of them," and that, "I've learned the hard way that people keep secrets for a reason. Even from the people they're closest to."
Is that what Chloe said? Nope, she said, "I figured if you wanted to tell me you were of the super-powered persuasion, you would when you were ready. On your terms, not on mine."
It's too bad because it would have been nice to have that in the back of Clark's mind about Lois's point of view on secrets. But this is the kind of thing Smallville gets wrong chronically. They have their falsely important Lana and their Lois rip-off with Chloe and the real members of the myth get lost. It's here that I realize that Smallville isn't trying to foreshadow the myth. On the contrary, they're trying to completely steal its thunder.
"You're a good friend, Chloe."
She did her 'hurt Chloe' face in response. That requires raised eyebrows, downcast gaze and a momentary frown. "Obviously not good enough."
Then we get another L&C rip-off line from Clark. "There were so many times I wanted to tell you."
"Loose lips sink ships," Chloe said, revving back up to buzz phrase mode. "And God knows I've sunk my share of flotillas. What about Lana? Does she know?"
"No."
"Well, I want you to know that I will never be the iceberg to your Titanic." Geez, can't she speak normally even in a scene like this? "And your secret will never ever leave my lips no matter what."
"I appreciate that."
Chloe then mentioned certain "blind spots" she didn't understand, like getting beamed from the caves to the North Pole. "What was really going on in that 40 story igloo?"
Clark took a seat by her bed. "Well, Chloe, there's a lot of things about me that I don't even understand."
Chloe made her disappointed face. It's the same as the hurt face, but involves a blank stare and tucked in lips.
"The meteor rocks ... they didn't make me who I am."
"So you're saying you were born this way?"
Clark leaned forward. "I wasn't born anywhere near Smallville. In fact I wasn't born anywhere near this galaxy."
"Oh--kay ... okay, so that would make you like an ..."
"Yeah," Clark whispered and lowered his head.
"But you look so ..."
"Human? I'm still the same person."
"Clark," Chloe finally said after a stunned pause. "I think you're so amazing. You save people's lives and take zero credit for it. To me you're more than just a hero. You're a superhero."
"Chloe ..."
"I'm serious, Clark. If more humans were like you, the world would be a better place."
This is all very nice when you ignore the fact that most of the people Clark has had to save wouldn't need to be saved if he hadn't come to Earth in the first place and that event leading to kryptonite mutants, truth juice, super dogs and just about anything else you can name including Jonathan's heart condition.
Then Clark noticed the news bulletin about Smallville on the TV. "They didn't get out. My parents didn't get out."
"Smallville needs you more than I do, Clark. Go."
Clark hesitated a moment. "Go!" Chloe said emphatically and when he whooshed away she whispered, "Whoa."
Another big L&C rip-off from We Have a Lot to Talk About. Lois and Clark hear someone calling for help and Lois says, "Go." Clark hesitates and then emphatically Lois says, "Go!" Clark then spins into Superman and whooshes away. Lois says, "Wow," breathlessly. Though in the script Lois said, "Whoa."
I'm pretty sick of Smallville getting credit for things better writers wrote a decade ago.
Lana, all cleaned up (did Lex mess with her?), awoke in the Luthor mansion to the sounds of Lionel scratching a symbol in the floor. Probably the one the female Kryptonian was sporting.
"Mr. Luthor," Lana said as she hobbled in his direction. "Are you okay?"
Lionel spun around, still in his kneeling position and took her hand. "The disciples of Zod," he said and then raised his face. His eyes were a pale milky blue. "They must be stopped."
"You're talking about the people from the ship," Lana said as she took the word of a floor-scraping lunatic and jumped to the conclusion that he meant the aliens.
Nutty Lionel got to his feet. "Their home is their only poison."
He then walked to the vault and looked in at the artifacts that contained bits of kryptonite. "Their home is their only poison."
"Where are they?" Lana asked with a touch of seething hatred.
Then we cut to the medical center, which must underwrite the episodes in order to get so much screen time.
Martha finally regained consciousness. So far the scenes of people regaining consciousness include Martha, Chloe, Lex and Lana.
Jonathan smiled. "Oh, Martha Kent, if you were trying to scare me, you did one heck of a job. For a minute there I thought I lost you."
"I guess I found my way back. Has Clark come home?"
"Sweetheart, you need to save all your energy to get better. Our son can handle anything that gets thrown his way."
Lois entered the room (was that a cue?) and smiled. "Mrs. Kent, I have to say you look a whole lot better without a china cabinet on your back."
Martha reached up and took Lois's hand. "Lois, it's good to see you."
Jonathan smiled. "Lois was quite a hero out there today."
"You guys put a roof over my head. The least I could do is help out when it came crashing down."
Speaking of crashing down ...
An explosion erupted in the hallway. Jonathan went out to investigate and saw the two Kryptonians walking up the corridor as various extras ran for their lives.
"Where is Kal-El?" the male Kryptonian asked.
"Who are you?"
"You know who he is," the female Kryptonian chimed in.
Jonathan shook his head. "I'm sorry, lady, I don't know what you're talking about."
It was time to hoist and throttle Jonathan.
Lois walked out like she was mediating a playground squabble. "Okay, everyone needs to count to ten and put the nice man down."
The female complied, but with super strength. She tossed Jonathan down the corridor. Lois became angry. "Look, Super Freak, you wanna find your Kal-El buddy, you better start working on your communication skills."
Then it was Lois's turn to be part of the hoist and throttle Olympics. Just then, Lana, the Kryptonian Slayer, showed up. "I know where Kal-El is. He's hiding out at the Luthor mansion. I can take you to him."
Lois was unceremoniously dropped. Almost a metaphor for how Smallville treats her character. Now we have to suffer through the idea that Lana saved Lois twice in two seasons. It's getting nauseating.
Meanwhile Clark finally whooshed home from the Yukon and entered the crushed farmhouse. "Mom! Dad?"
Enter Lex Luthor. "Clark, thank God you're okay."
"Where's my mom and dad?"
"At the hospital. Your mom has a concussion and a broken leg, but she's going to be okay. She's out of danger now."
"What about Lana?" Why is Clark asking Lex about Lana? The last time Clark saw Lana she handed him a murder weapon ... I mean a Kryptonian stone that was used as a murder weapon, then said she loved him and walked off. I don't recall her mentioning Lex.
"Lana's safe. It's Chloe I'm worried about."
Lex then went on to explain how she'd been in the caves with him, but didn't mention the pesky "against her will" detail. Clark suggested that Chloe ran out while Lex was unconscious.
"Or someone helped her out."
"You think I did?" Clark asked, looking kind of crabby about it for some reason.
"Clark, before I passed out, there was a light brighter than any I've ever seen and I could have sworn I saw you right in its epicenter."
"I was nowhere near those caves," Clark lied.
"If you weren't with your parents when the meteors hit, where have you been?"
"They insisted I get a head start. I got a ride on one of the military vans." This was another lie, of course, but it was stupidly transparent. An adult son leaving his parents behind like a rat leaving a sinking ship. Well, okay, he did behave this way second season when he ran away from home.
"Why do I get this nagging feeling that you're being less than honest with me?" I dunno, because he is?
"I have no idea."
"I'm beginning to get the feeling that lying is an unshakable habit of yours, Clark."
Then Clark, in a perfect imitation of Lana, turned to walk away. "I don't have to listen to this."
"Then be straight with me for once," Lex said. "If you're my friend, tell me the truth. Were you in the caves when the meteors hit?"
Clark looked away. "No." And Lex walked away.
Clark showed up at the medical center and he and Lois hugged.
"Where are my parents?"
"They're going to be fine, but we have another problem. A big problem, really. A happy loving couple with super human powers and a really bad attitude came through here. It got pretty ugly."
"What did they want?"
"They were looking for some guy called Kal-El. Ever hear of him?"
"Where'd they go?"
Back at Luthor mansion, Lana clomped into the room and pointed at the vault. "Kal-El's in there."
The two Kryptonians became instantly sick at the exposure to kryptonite, but unlike Clark last year, managed to get out of the vault and then seal the door over it.
The male glared at Lana. "Lying is their way." Hey, it's Clark's way, too.
"Not for long," the female said and Lana got pitched across the room and into some glass cabinet. I guess they'd fulfilled their throttle quota for the day.
Clark whooshed in. "I heard you're looking for me. I'm Kal-El."
"At last," the male said and smiled.
"Who are you?"
The female stepped forward. "The last survivors of Krypton." Why is it Jor-El has a British accent, but these Kryptonians don't?
"What do you want?"
"We want you to join us, Kal-El," the male said. "And make this savage land our utopia." Please, someone send for Tempus.
"I saw what you did at the hospital. It wasn't utopia, it was murder."
"The few must be sacrificed for the many."
Okay, I was never good at math, but I only see three Kryptonians. Wouldn't they be 'the few'? Did the writer just see The Wrath of Khan? "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one."
Anyway, Clark refuses to join them and the female tosses a bracelet that creates a swirling vortex. They give him a heat vision push towards the vortex and Clark smashes his hand into the floor and grabs a piece of rebar. Then, inexplicably, the pair turn away saying, "it is done," before Clark actually gets sucked in. They need to watch the Austin Powers movies.
Clark, of course, pulled himself free and then shoved them into the vortex. It turned into the floating album cover from the first two Superman movies and the pair smashed through the window and floated away. Also, the smashed window revealed that it was almost sunset.
Clark looked from the sunset to Lana. Then looked back at the sunset and then back to Lana. Then he picked up Lana and carried her to the sunset background. "Where are they?" Lana asked.
"They're gone," Clark replied. "Do you know who they were?" I can only assume Clark asked that to see if Lana found out they were Kryptonians.
Lana shook her head and Clark watched the sun go down and seemed glad he had broken his word to Jor-El. "We need to get you to a hospital," he said but when he started to lift her, he cut his finger on a shard of glass. Jor-El is pretty darn punctual. He must be part Tholian. Oh, and Clark scarfed up the octagon key that just happened to be lying on the floor.
Jonathan brought Martha back home from the hospital and she was upset by the computer generated wrecked farmhouse. "It's just wood and plaster (and pixels), Martha. The fact is our family is still standing. We might be a little bruised, but I think we're stronger for it." Got that FEMA expedited aid money, didn't you?
"You're right. A house can always be rebuilt."
"It doesn't hurt to have a one-man construction team as a son."
"Hi," the one-man construction team said.
"Don't worry, son. Things'll get back to normal soon enough."
"Actually, things will be a lot more normal around here than you think," the Kryptonian said cryptically. "My abilities are gone."
"How?" Martha asked.
"Jor-El took them, but I don't think it's such a bad thing. All I've ever wanted was to be normal and now, finally, I am."
"I don't think this adjustment is going to be quite as easy as you do, Clark," Jonathan said.
"But that's why I'm lucky to have parents like you," Clark countered. "Every time I woke up with a new ability, you were always there to help me adjust. This time is no different."
"It is different," Martha said. "You can get hurt now. You're vulnerable." I guess this was their version of Lara in Superman II saying, "You can be hurt, just like an ordinary man."
"Isn't that what it means to be human?"
Jonathan shook his head. "No, I can't imagine Jor-El giving up on you that easily." Notice they didn't even ask what pissed Jor-El off in the first place.
"I took care of the danger he warned me about and if losing my abilities is the consequence, then I think he's done with me." Clark kind of avoids saying he broke his word to Jor-El. "Look, it's all in the past now. I'm ready to take a step towards the future. I'll start by rebuilding this house one board at a time."
Clark reminds me very much of a kid who has dropped out of school and is trying hard to justify his decision. Even trying to convince his parents that it's a good thing. Worst of all, he's trying to kid himself into believing he had no choice.
While it's true Lana was in need of medical care, she was not on the brink of dying like Chloe. Clark even decided to question Lana before he suggested she needed to go to a hospital. He definitely had the speed, especially if he initially headed west and technically kept the sun from setting.
As silly as the sundown ultimatum was, it's clear that Clark had no intention of keeping his word and was even pleased with the punishment. I hope it comes back to bite him in the butt, but I have my doubts at this point.
A shadow passed Chloe's bed. "Clark," she said as she awoke.
"Now how could Clark possibly be here?" Lex asked. "We're in the middle of the Yukon."
Chloe visibly cringed. "I don't know. I must have been dreaming, I guess. What's going on, Lex?"
"I came to take you home," Lex said, his sinister smile set in place.
Then we cut to the hospital in Kansas. Clark exited an elevator carrying a bouquet of irises. Lois snatched the bouquet. "Clark, you shouldn't have," she said in a croaking voice. I don't know why her voice is hoarse now, but wasn't immediately after being throttled.
"Actually, I didn't."
"Too sweet for words."
"How'd you get that frog in your throat?"
"That's what happens when you get a neck massage from Barbie the Barbarian. The doctors say I shouldn't talk too much."
"Gee, that's too bad."
"Don't get your hopes up, Smallville. The doctor says it's not permanent," she said and consulted her watch. "I've got to catch a plane in a couple of hours to Geneva and if I'm late, you know the General will court martial me."
"I did want to thank you," Clark said as Lois kept several paces ahead of him.
She walked back and smiled.
"You were there for my parents. That means a lot."
"I'm sure it does, but not enough to give me this deluxe iris arrangement from Main Street Florist," she said and handed the bouquet back, sans one she kept for herself. "She's down the hall in room 258." Lois smiled over her shoulder and departed.
The "she" in question is Lana, of course. You could tell because a pop tune started playing as soon as Clark headed down the hall. I wonder why Clark didn't know what room she was in since he must have been the one to take Lana to the hospital. Did he drop her in the night deposit slot?
Okay, maybe he knew where she was and Lois was just having fun with him since she obviously knew who the posies were meant for all along. Still, it might have been nice if Clark also brought flowers for the girl who helped save his mother's life. Ah, well, his grating single-mindedness when it comes to Lana knows no bounds. She's like a virus that infected his better judgment.
Speaking of the object of his infection, Lana was reading about her dead ex-boyfriend Jason and his dead mother. "You owe me one. L." was scrawled on the page. Which L? Well, I guess it's Lex, or maybe Lionel, but I can't imagine it being Lois. That would be too juicy.
As soon as Clark entered, Lana folded the paper and put it away. Obviously the girl known for hating secrets and lies made an exception in her own case.
"Hope irises are still on your favorite flowers list." I guess rosebuds are on the list, too, since that's what he brought to the airport when she was jetting to France to get away from him.
"Some things stay number one forever," she said, obviously not talking about Smallville's ratings.
Then Clark brought up Lana's visit to the barn before the meteor shower "and three words sort of stood out." Secrets and lies? No, that's so third season ... and second season and fourth season.
Lana said she meant every word. At least until she takes them all back. "The question is, did you?"
In lieu of speaking, Clark kissed her, which is good, because we know what his word means now. After the smooch, Clark said, "No more secrets. No more lies."
This is similar to Clark on L&C saying, "The best day of my life was the day you found out I'm Superman. It meant no more secrets. I'm done hiding things from you." Of course that Clark meant it, but Smallville's Clark does not and that's confirmed by the next exchange of dialogue.
In the middle of what should be a romantic scene, Lana suddenly asked, "Do you believe in life on other planets?"
This is where Mr. No More Secrets and Lies should have confessed his origin to Lana. He no longer has his special powers, but that doesn't change the fact that he's an alien from the planet Krypton. The same planet the aliens who almost killed Lana came from. Instead, Clark merely said, "Actually, I do."
"I saw a spaceship in that crater, Clark. It was unbelievable."
Again, another chance for Clark to confess. "Hey, I had a cool spaceship till I blew it up," but he said nothing. He went to the crater but the ship was gone.
Even before the scene shifted to Luthor Corp, we knew the ship would be there once Lana had told Lex about it. Only Lex would put a spaceship up on blocks. Then, something that looked rather like an oil spill began to ooze out. No, the ship didn't ding its oil pan. The oil solidified into James Marsters. Who? The guy who played Spike on Buffy and Angel.
That was the end of the episode and the next episode is the Clana sex episode, which I'll get to as soon as I get enough Pepto Bismol.
A few final thoughts on Arrival. I felt the episode was rather dull and anticlimactic. The final showdown with the Kryptonians, who were also pointless, was very lame. I know they cut the budget, but this fell completely flat.
I'm glad Clark knows that Chloe knows his secret if only for the fact it means an end to the annoying hinting from last year. Believe me, I like Chloe a great deal more than Lana, but I resent that she's been made a Lois Lane rip-off to the point that some delusional fans believe she really is Lois Lane. That's a disservice to a character who has existed 65 years longer than her pale teen counterpart.
I know the producers have said from the beginning that Lois Lane is an amalgam of both Chloe and Lana, but that's such a sick way of thinking. Would any woman be happy that a guy loves her because she reminds him of two other chicks from his high school days? I don't think so.
Also, as far as the ratings, despite the WB's hyperbolic press release, this was Smallville's lowest rated premiere since it didn't even reach 6 million viewers, which last year's premiere managed to accomplish. Even the highly ad-blitzed Clana sex episode failed to reach 6 million, but I'll post my theory as to why when I review that episode.
As for the Fortress of Solitude, let me just say how sick I am of the idea that Superman is nothing more than a persona created in the Fortress and guided every brainwashed step of the way by dead Jor-El. I know it's an homage to the old Chris Reeve movies, but in a movie you have two hours more or less to tell a story. So, taking teen Clark and putting him in the Fortress for a dozen years and having him emerge as Superman was a shortcut to the heart of the story. But with Smallville, and over four years to tell the story of transition from teen to hero, they've failed to use their medium as effectively.
For all the bragging and chest pounding the Smallville producers do about their version being fresh and unique, they've decided to sit at the head of the table at the (Richard) Donner party and chow down on a giant plate of rehash.
So, let me paraphrase Zod from Superman II when it comes to Smallville's retread version. "Scruffy. So morbid. A sentimental replica of a movie long since vanished. No style at all."
Okay, that's it till Mortal, which I received in the mail today. I dread this episode more than the hurricane.
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