|
Reviews
4:21 Forever Review
By Zoomway
Since it's taking me so long to finish the last episodes of Smallville, 'Forever' seems like the perfect title.
The episode opened with Chloe autographing a yearbook for Brendan, the Torch photographer who we've never met in four years of seeing the Torch. "Wow," Chloe said, "can you believe four years have gone by this fast?" Speak for yourself.
After Brendan thanked her and departed, Chloe went back to her computer, but when the morning bell rang, no students were seen pouring into the hallway. Chloe exited the Torch and there were no other students anywhere. I'd suggest they were in classes, but we know there aren't any classes in that high school.
Chloe continued down the hallway till she came to the girl's locker room and called out to a girl named Haley. I'm not sure why since there was really no one to see, but as Chloe got closer, Haley turned out to be a waxworks fountain spewing water.
Chloe bolted in a panic and ran back to the Torch only to discover the phone wasn't working. She pulled up the blinds on the windows and discovered the daylight was provided by a series of fluorescent lights. Probably how the windows on the Torch set are always lit. She started screaming for help and we cut to the opening theme.
After the theme we cut to the happy Kent home where Jonathan confronted Clark. "Do you mind telling me why you have a financial aid package from Central Kansas?" Aw, isn't that romantically ironic since Jason wanted to attend Central Kansas with Lana? Nah, I didn't think so.
"That's where I'm going to college."
"What happened to Met U? What happened to Ohio? What happened to Miami?" Keep going, Jonathan. There's 50 states after all.
Clark sighed. "Thought I'd stay closer to home."
Martha finally spoke. "I know starting all over in a new city with new friends can be a little overwhelming, but you can't let that hold you back."
"This is one of the most important decisions of your entire life," Jonathan added.
Okay, does Central Kansas just totally suck? Is it made out of cardboard and have classes like Clay Ashtrays 101? The Importance of Posture? What is so bad about it that Clark's parents make it sound like he'll get a diploma printed on toilet paper?
Then Jonathan finally delivered a line that makes it clear he knows that Clark doesn't think for himself. "Does Lana happen to be going to Central Kansas?"
"I don't know where Lana's going to school, so no, this is not about Lana."
"Oh," Jonathan said and got in Clark's glide path. "Then it's about us. You don't think I can run this farm without your help."
Jonathan, your farm is always on the verge of bankruptcy. You can't run it with him much less without him.
"This is where I'm needed."
"Clark, your destiny lies far beyond those cornfields out there. I'm not about to let you turn your back on that just because of us."
Just give him red kryptonite. He turns his back on you regularly when he's exposed to it.
Jonathan fixed him with a stare. "I've got a farm to run." So there!
Meanwhile Chloe was trying hard to connect to the Internet with no success. Suddenly a couple of girls strolled past the Torch talking about a test they 'totally bombed.' Chloe ran out to them and asked if they knew what was going on.
"You better hurry, Chloe, or you're going to be late for trig."
"Trig? You guys, there's no classes behind these doors." And there never were.
"Just play along," one of the girls said. "He's watching."
Chloe glanced up and noticed the security camera. Then a door opened and Brendan entered through Room 222. I'm probably the only viewer old enough to remember that TV show.
"Are you playing along, too?" Chloe asked.
"Playing along? Chloe, I planned it all."
"You brought us here?"
"Just because it's the last day of school doesn't mean it can't last forever." It's lasted forever already, Brendan.
Chloe snagged his arm. "Brendan, you're not serious. Why would you want to stay stuck in high school when there's so much more out there?" Because not moving on is the defining characteristic of the show.
"I thought you of all people would understand," Brendan said, getting that Norman Bates edge to his voice that so many mutants do. "You're editor of the Torch, prom queen. Chloe, you had everything in high school. Once you leave, all you'll have is a lifetime of disappointments, but not in here," he added, as Chloe noticed a yellow bird popping out of his forehead periodically chirping "cuckoo."
"Brendan, you cannot keep us here forever. You have to move on!" Chloe said, perhaps more to the producers than the mutant du jour.
"To what? Look, Chloe, some of us didn't get into our dream colleges like you. When you're staring at a pile of rejection letters, moving on means working at the local video store the rest of your life." Like most mutants, Brendan takes the short view of the future and apparently working in a video store is a fate worse than Central Kansas college.
"How can you be sure the rest of us will go along with this?"
Brendan turned and faced a rather dweebish boy in a sweater vest. "Wendell." We somehow knew he'd be a Wendell.
"Wendell, come here. I said come here!"
"I didn't do anything, I swear."
"Chloe was just wondering what happens when we don't play along."
"No, please ... arrrgghhhhh!" And just that quick poor Wendell was turned into a Hitler youth statue.
"It's best you realize how much better off you are here, Chloe," Brendan said and the yellow bird made a looping motion at the side of its head. "Save a seat for you at lunch."
Back at the real high school, Clark and Lana pick up their caps and gowns.
Lana waltzed up in her cap. "What do you think?"
"I think it's really starting to hit me," Clark said. "It's really over, isn't it?" If Warner Bros. didn't produce the show and The WB didn't air it, yes, it'd been over for sure.
Then we get reminiscing about tripping through the doors freshman year. Clark said it was because Lana made him nervous when in reality it was her kryptonite necklace that did the trick. Who could forget crazy freshman Lana wearing a necklace made of the stuff that killed her parents?
"I got used to seeing you every morning at the lockers. I guess that's all gonna change now that you're going off to college."
"Well, I don't know if I'm gonna go," Lana said and did her patented face of consternation. It's also the face she made talking to Jason, Chloe, Whitney and others through the years.
"What do you mean? You're the one who's always dreamt of leaving this town ever since you were a little girl."
"I know, but right now I feel like I'd be making that decision because it's what everyone expects us to do." Is she still possessed by Isobel? Was that a royal "us" usage? Bad grammar? "If I go, I want to make that choice for the right reasons."
Isn't furthering your education one of the right reasons? And who is expecting you to do it? Most people would expect you to eat something each day, too, but I don't think you'd stop eating because it was expected of you.
"So you're staying in Smallville?" That dense molecular structure really catches up to Clark on occasion.
"I don't know, I think it would be really hard with all of you guys gone."
"Well, not all of us will be gone," Clark said, realizing that a lot of the Smallville sets aren't quite paid for yet. "I'm thinking of commuting to Central Kansas."
"Then maybe I won't have to spend anymore time trying to figure out how to say good-bye." Yeah, wouldn't want to tax those pretty brain cells.
I'm tossing this picture in as a bonus because I have no idea why Lana looks pissed at Clark. Instead of responding to Lana, he turned around when the woman at the cap and gown table called out Chloe's name. "I would have thought Chloe would have been the first in line." That's all Clark said.
Oh, well, the action shifted briefly to Lex who was talking about wanting to excavate the cave and then Jason shot him in the neck with a tranquilizer dart.
Then it shifted to Jonathan chopping firewood. "Clark was going to take care of that tonight," Martha said.
"It's nothing I can't handle by myself," Jonathan countered as his bum ticker made out a will.
"I know what you're doing, Jonathan, but you can't take Clark's place on this farm. No one can. Every other farm in the county has at least five hands to help out." That's probably true in Smallville. Five-handed mutants are probably common.
"Martha, what exactly is it you want me to do? Want me to tell our teenage son that we couldn't possibly survive around here without him? What kind of parents would that make us?"
"Honest ones." Zing!
"Martha, Clark still feels responsible for my heart problems (and he is). I'm not going to allow him to do this out of pity."
"It's not pity, Jonathan. Clark knows if he leaves, he can only come back a few times a year and he doesn't want one of those times to be your funeral." Zing! Though considering it takes him 6 minutes to run roundtrip between Smallville and Metropolis, I'm not sure why he couldn't go to Met U.
We cut back to Clark and Lana entering the Torch to deliver Chloe's cap and gown, but Clark notices the final issue of the paper isn't even ready for printing yet. Then Lana picked up a coffee container from the Talon. "When was the last time Chloe pulled an all-nighter with a deadline and didn't finish her latte?" I don't know, Lana, when was the last time you pulled an all-nighter with Chloe working on a deadline?
Lex awoke tied to a chair in a cabin and found his father across the room in similar dire straits. Then Genevieve and Jason entered and various threats were made about wanting the stones.
Jason pointed a gun at Lionel's head. "We want the stone you stole from us." Remember in the episode Ageless Lionel had poisoned Genevieve and only gave her the antidote in exchange for the stone she stole from Bridget Crosby. I know it's a convoluted mess, but at least there won't be a quiz.
Meanwhile, at the Talon, Lois greeted Clark. "I'm impressed, Smallville. Of all these seniors skipping school, I didn't expect you to be one of them."
"I'm on lunch break."
"Right, because why would you do anything else like a normal teenager in America? Last day of school is a get out of jail free card. Even Haley, my best employee, flaked on her morning shift."
"I'm looking for Chloe. Have you seen her?"
"After my 2 AM java run to the Torch last night to make her deadline, I'm guessing she's crashed out somewhere."
"Lois, she never published the last issue. That's why I think something's going on."
When a girl asked Clark to autograph her yearbook, he asked Lois if the Haley listed on the Most Likely page was the same Haley who didn't show up for her shift. Are there 50 seniors named Haley? That's when you can tell Smallville really isn't a small town, or Clark would know without asking.
Lois acknowledged that it was the same Haley and Clark then mentioned that she, Chloe, Wendell and a couple of others from the Most Likely page were missing. "Anything seem weird last night when you left Chloe?" Yeah, the Torch is open in the middle of the night. Oh, my bad, you said 'weird.'
"She was just swimming through a bunch of photos with some photographer kid."
Lana got into her Jeep Liberty, and for no particular reason, looked at the stone she was carrying around in her purse -- also, for no particular reason. Her stone was found in China and Jason gave it to her rather than to his mother. So as a show of gratitude, Lana hid the stone and pretended it was stolen so she could test Jason's love for her. What a trusting soul.
Suddenly Brendan's little yellow bird pecked on Lana's car door. Brendan handed her his yearbook to autograph. Lana is listed as the girl most likely to become a cover girl. Are we surprised? I didn't think so. As Lana scribbled her name, Brendan added her to the wax museum. Speaking of ..
Chloe palmed a piece of metal and went looking for her charming host, but ran into yet another trapped student instead. "Chloe, you better get to class, the bell's gonna ring soon, you don't wanna be late," she said and glanced up at the surveillance camera.
"Be right there."
Then there was an ominous piano plink and we knew Brendan was near. "What are you two talking about?" he asked.
"We were just planning a study session for Mr. Cramer's quiz." Which is more than they did in the real high school.
As the nameless inmate departed, Brendan smiled at Chloe. "I have a surprise for you." The yellow bird popped out of his forehead and shrugged.
Brendan led Chloe to the Torch where waxworks Lana sat perched on the desk. "If you ask me, most likely to be cover girl is selling her short," he said, paying the ubiquitous mutant compliment to Lana.
As Brendan touched two fingers to Lana's paraffin pallor, she awoke gasping for air. Come on, we knew if he had wax-on power, he had wax-off power.
"What's going on here?" Lana asked as the yellow bird winked at her.
"Chloe, I think I'll let you explain the rules to Lana."
"Okay, great," Chloe said as the yellow bird whispered, "you'll always get the shaft, Sullivan."
After Brendan and his bird left, Lana asked, "How did I end up back in school?"
"Don't wig out, but we're not in school."
Chloe then explained all about Brendan's waxy Medusa touch and that they're all caged members of the Most Likely page. Then a girl walked in and said she had told Brendan that Chloe had a crush on him just as Chloe had instructed her to do. "Brendan wants high school, we'll give him high school." Wedgies all around.
We go from Brendan to branding as Genevieve and Jason threatened to give Lex a permanent poker face. After much threatening and owies, Lionel finally relented and said that he gave the stone to Lana.
"You wouldn't have trusted her with anything that valuable."
"I gave it to her for the same reason I gave her the map to the temple. She is the Chosen One and we all know that."
Yes, it explains everything, doesn't it? Why she always gets what she wants. Why all males and some females fall in love with her. How she can make payments on her Jeep Liberty without a job. Of course they don't tell us why she's the Chosen One, or who chose her, or what she was chosen to do.
Then Jason's mother said she'd take care of Lana. "You promised you wouldn't hurt her," Jason reminded.
Then Genevieve basically said Lana wasn't worth his concern since she had no idea how much Jason has been protecting her. Again, we're not told what he was protecting her from.
Clark and Lois paid the high school's elaborate darkroom a visit. "He's gotta be in here," Clark observed. "It's like his second home."
Alas Brendan wasn't there, but he did leave behind enough blatant evidence to choke a Clydesdale.
Lois noticed a wall displaying photos of the Most Likely bunch. Some had an X drawn through their photos. "That's a little Norman Bates." No, if Brendan dressed like his mother, it would be a little Norman Bates. "Oh, God, do you think they're ..."
"No, it looks more like a collection," Clark said. Okay, that made as much sense as the Norman Bates line.
Clark picked up a transparency and placed it on an overhead projector. "Lois, check this out," he said, as the light blinded Ms. Lane.
"Thanks, Clark."
The transparency was a blueprint of a floor plan which Clark superimposed over the photos on the wall. "He must have rebuilt this part of the school somewhere," he said and consulted the transparency again. "Nash Construction." Cool, everything but arrows pointing the way.
Speaking of NASHville, Brendan entered the ersatz Torch and Chloe pretended that she was more than happy to write up the final issue of the Torch forever. Then Brendan whined again about how it was better because no matter what they accomplished at the high school, it didn't matter on the outside.
"And we'd have to do it all again if we left," Chloe said and moved closer for front-line flirting purposes. "So, how'd you do it?"
"I told my dad if he didn't build it, I'd turn my annoying step-monster into his own personal mannequin." BLAM. Lana clobbered Brendan with what appeared to be a desk drawer. What happened to her kung fu skills? The yellow bird went sprawling across the floor.
Chloe and Lana bolted instead of tying him up. They picked up Haley on the way, but the Chosen One tripped over her fat feet and hit the deck, which left poor Haley as the expendable student.
Chloe and Lana started up the stairway only to find Brendan blocking the way. "I thought you felt the same way I did about our future."
"Brendan, you can't keep us here forever." Sure he can.
"You have to let us go," the Chosen One added.
"I don't think you really want that. You'll like it here, or you'll end up like your friend Haley," he said, and produced her severed wax head from behind his back. He was almost daring us to imagine what the movie Heathers would be like if it starred Val Kilmer instead of Christian Slater.
He tossed the head and it shattered like, well ... like ... a wax head.
Then an incredibly long pointless scene where Lionel taunted Jason about his mother. Then Jason went out for more firewood. Firewood almost qualified as a guest star in this episode.
Lex instructed Lionel to kick the poker out of the fire and then Lex tipped his chair over and wouldn't you know it, the ropes on his wrists lined up perfectly with it. Once freed, father and son began this looooong gallop in the woods being chased by Jason. Then the hunter became the hunted when Lex clobbered Jason and the gun was dropped.
Lex finally cornered Jason at a precipice overlooking a river. "Lex, don't do this! Look at me. It was never about you and me, it was about our parents."
"I always knew I had to protect Lana from you," Lex snarled.
"Not as much as you've been protecting your best friend, huh?"
"Clark has nothing to do with this." Lex changes his opinion of Clark week to week.
"Clark's more connected to this than any of us. You just choose to ignore it. Come on, think about it. The symbol burned into the kid's barn. The field."
"It's a little obvious to be shifting the blame in the eleventh hour."
"Why can't you see what's right in front of your face, Lex? It's Clark, he's ..." BANG. Lionel shot Jason in the shoulder and then the young guest star tumbled backward into the river. Yeah, I know he's not dead.
Lionel claimed he was paying Lex back for saving him from being shot earlier in the chase, but Lex said he suspected that Lionel shot Jason to keep him from divulging something. Then Lex said, "If anything happens to Lana, you'll be begging for an end like that!" For a Chosen One, Lana sure needs a lot of bodyguards.
Meanwhile, Lois and Clark arrived at the scene of the crime. Yes, this is where the writers work. "How cliche," Lois said. "An abandoned warehouse."
Noting a chain and lock on the door, Clark suggested Lois go around the corner and look for another way in and he'd see if he could find a key.
"Keys? Well, I highly doubt they're under the welcome mat (the cliche welcome mat), but you knock yourself out," she said, and ran around to the back of the building.
Clark broke the lock and entered through the front and Lois broke open a vent and entered through the back. Clark found Chloe in the Torch frozen in place just as Lois made a Spider-man type drop from the ceiling. She walked down the hallway and looked through the window of the Torch and saw Clark and waxy Chloe. At that moment she saw Brendan's reflection and spun around to kick him, but he caught her leg and made her more statuesque than usual.
Clark saw Brendan about to clobber Lois and whooshed over to protect her from Cabbage Patch Kilmer. Then Clark got a strange look in his eyes as if a spark passed between him and Lois, to paraphrase the comics. I don't think it's my imagination since I'm not the only one who noticed and also the camera lingered on Clark's reaction.
Then Clark whooshed after the retreating Brendan. "You have to release everybody."
"I wanted you to be a part of all of this, Clark, but you guys had no right coming here." Wouldn't that make it hard for him to be a part of it?
"Things change," Clark said, forgetting he was in Smallville where nothing changes. "No matter how much we don't want them to. We can't live in high school forever." Seems like it so far.
"You don't really want that," Brendan whimpered as he approached the Chosen One frozen in a rather religious iconic posture at the top of the stairway. "Clark, think about it. She could stay like this forever. Always be with you. You'd never be afraid if she ever left you."
"I'm not afraid of that, Brendan."
"You should be. She'll leave you, Clark." That's true. She's dumped everyone else. I just didn't know anyone else in Smallville noticed Lana's pattern. Even the yellow bird nodded solemnly.
Clark grabbed Brendan and Brendan grabbed Clark, which seemed to cause feedback and started turning Brendan into a mannequin. "Wh ... what's happening? It won't stop. You're gonna find out what it's like to lose someone forever," Brendan waxed vengefully as he toppled the statue of the Chosen One.
Then Brendan broke away from his leg and fell over the railing of the stairway as the strains of 'I Fall to Pieces' played ... somewhere in the world. However, his death defrosted Lana, Chloe, Lois and Wendell.
Then we get a loft scene. Don't worry, it's Clark and Jonathan. "I don't want you sacrificing your potential because of me."
"It's not a sacrifice, Dad, it's a choice."
Cut to the chase ...
"You are a lot like me. I had a full ride to Met U. waiting for me when I graduated. The problem is, my father needed me on this farm. So I stayed ... as much as I loved my father, part of me still resents him for needing me that much. I don't want you to feel that. That's not the kind of father I ever wanted to be."
"Dad, this isn't about the kind of father you are. It's about the kind of son I want to be." Big Hug. The yellow bird wept.
The next day at the school without adult supervision, the real one, not Brendan's version, all manner of crap was being tossed out the windows on the last day of school, which explains why my high school had no windows. Chloe bid adieu to the Torch while a downbeat tune played.
Chloe departed with a pitiful box of memories. "So I guess this is it, right?" Chloe asked as if they actually spent a lot of time at the high school.
"It's not like we're never going to see each other, right?" Clark replied.
"Yeah, you'll have summers and holidays," Lana said with her annoying nervous laugh voice.
"This sucks," Chloe said, but was still relieved it didn't suck as bad as Ageless.
"Suddenly all those tests (when?) and teachers (who?) we hated seem a lot less scary than the big question mark hanging out there," Clark said, playing along with Chloe's delusion that they attended classes and knew teachers well enough to hate them in the past four years.
That's why this episode lacked any kind of true sentiment because the high school actually meant nothing to them. It was no more a part of their lives than other youthful moments like learning how to drive a car, or getting in trouble for breaking curfew. These 'kids' pretty much operated without restraints and spoke in adult cocktail party cliches. Even Chloe's final departure from the Torch fell flat because it was not a high school paper so much as a place to look up any impossible thing on its magical computer.
"Not wanting to go all psycho-sympathizer on you guys," Chloe said, "but I can't blame Brendan for wanting to keep everyone together. Though after that little lock-in, I can't think of anything scarier than being stuck in the past and not moving on." Since when?
"Wait a minute, Lana. Did you say I'll have summers and holidays? What about you?"
"I'm staying in Smallville."
Clark turned. "I thought you weren't sure."
Chloe was shocked. "Don't you want to see what else is out there?"
"That's why I went to Paris last year (no it wasn't), but there's a reason I was drawn back home." Yeah, a big hunking tattoo on your back that matched a symbol in the cave.
"I'm just not sure I've explored all the possibilities here," i.e., Lana is in-between boyfriends now and since Clark is going to be commuting to Smallville while she hangs out and does nothing with her life, he'll be conveniently located.
The Chosen One walked off and then Clark walked off after her like the masochist we've come to expect. Then Chloe, who'd carry a cross on her back if not for the knife handle between her shoulder blades, said, "Maybe things don't change much after all."
Nope, nothing changes. Not even Chloe's ability to state the obvious.
Next up, the flaming meteor finale.
Zoom
Back
| 
