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Reviews
4:04 Devoted Review
By Zoomway
This plot would actually fit the old Superboy comics ... sans the sex. Cheerleaders, feeling their boyfriends aren't paying enough attention to them, spike their sports drink with love potion. Well, a potion that makes them overly devoted. I'd make a joke about "how many cheerleaders does it take to draw a double helix," but Lois beat me to it, so I'll move on.
Clark, who had been warming the bench, wound up as starting quarterback when the real quarterback jogged off the field telling assistant coach Teague that he was going shopping with his girlfriend Mandy.
The team, however, didn't take to Clark as the replacement for Dan, a guy they'd played with for three seasons. As they passed Clark on the field, they smacked their shoulders into his. I include this scene because it has a parallel later in the episode.
Clark became the permanent starting quarterback when Dan chased Jason with a shotgun for "checking out" Mandy. Remember it's "Kryptonite" for all your exaggerated revenge needs. Look for it in your grocer's freezer section.
Lois entered the episode arguing on her cell phone with someone at Metropolis University about being stuck in Podunk High. "You know," Clark observed as he fell in step with Lois. "If you spent as much time studying as you do trying to leave, you'd be in college already."
"And where did you get that pearl of wisdom? The Farmer's Almanac?"
Sometimes these exchanges between Lois and Clark seem to be lifted and slightly altered from the L&C of the 90s. In order to achieve this, they didn't change Lois for Smallville, they changed Clark. Once the mopiest character on television, he now has fun sparring with Lois Lane. Also, despite the outward antagonism, he seems to want to impress Lois. He asked her what she thought of his new letterman jacket.
"They're not exactly your colors." (the same comment Chloe makes when she sees the jacket)
"They're the school's colors."
"I'm glad you made the team, Clark, but why be a conformist? The whole plaid farm boy thing, as lame as it is, it completely belongs to you."
"In the future let's restrict our conversations to 'hello' and 'good bye'."
As they continued in silence, they noticed how the football team members were catering to their cheerleader girlfriends' every whim.
Lois and Clark reported to Chloe at the Torch, but both let her down. Lois was still preoccupied trying to contact the dean of Met U and Clark said he had to "dial down" his work at the Torch now that he was promoted to head quarterback. The cheese stands alone.
This episode took note of every pairing of characters past and present. There was Lana and Jason, where again she told him not to joke just as she had last week. That girl is a bundle of laughs. Then we get a page ripped from the L&C book and given to Lana.
She told Jason, "Imagine being your girlfriend and finding out about this [being shot at] from Chloe. I felt faint and wanted to scream, but I couldn't because why would Lana be freaking out about the new coach?"
This situation belongs to Lois when she's in a relationship with Clark and knows he's Superman. If Superman gets hurt she can't really react publicly because she's dating (or married to) Clark Kent. The poignancy is cheapened by using it for a student/teacher secret romance. It's the last year of high school. They could have decided to cool it until school ended. If he really loved her and vice versa, waiting a few months wouldn't make a difference.
Meanwhile, smokin' in the boy's room ...
The "Clex" (the presumed Clark/Lex sexual tension) made a strong comeback in this episode. Lex donated new uniforms to the Smallville football team and then made this speech:
"The coaches tell me this is going to be a rebuilding season and I want to encourage you to keep at it. In my life I've learned that you can never give up on something that means a lot to you. Even when you're coming off a losing season. You keep trying, because sometimes you just need a fresh start."
This was a warm come-hither overture to Clark, but it also qualified as the writers asking for a second chance after going badly off course last season. At any rate, Clark told Lex he couldn't buy his love ... uh friendship.
The day of the big practice everyone was too busy to be interviewed by Chloe, so she drowned her sorrows with the Nyquil of Devotion. Coach Teague likewise chugged a dose. It brought Chloe's latent love for Clark roaring to the surface. She entered the Torch and informed Lois that she was dumping the school paper.
"Why?"
"I finally understand why it never worked with Clark."
"Okay, I'll bite."
"Because I was never there for him. I was always here, buried in this stupid school newspaper. I wasn't devoted to him, but that's all gonna change now."
There's irony in those lines for me as a comic book reader. Chuck Austen, who writes Action comics and hates Lois, would probably share those sentiments. That somehow Lois is more into her work as a journalist than "devoted" to Clark and his needs.
Lois asked, "How many anvils are you going to let this guy drop on you?" Ouch. Well aimed and accurate. When Chloe exploded and accused Lois of getting in the way of her happiness, Lois chose the better part of valor and decided to interview Mandy.
Or at least she tried to interview Mandy, who stated, "I wouldn't give that geek rag a quote if it were the last paper on Earth."
Okay, I give Mandy credit for knowing the proper verb form.
"Darn," Lois said, without an ounce of sincerity. "And I thought it would be so insightful."
Lois then needled Mandy about not having her personal valet (Dan) anymore.
"I could get a new boyfriend just like that," she said and snapped her fingers.
"Amazing what a short skirt and the ability to rhyme will get you," Lois snarked.
Then a plot device, in the form of Mandy's notebook, hit the floor. Lois picked it up. "Advanced Chem" and the paper was about "The Love Molecule."
As the snotty cheer squad departed, they made certain to smack Lois' shoulder the same way the disgruntled football players had smacked Clark's shoulder.
When Clark strolled up to the loft, he found Chloe sitting there in his football jersey. "Who needs the Torch?" she asked. "Especially if you're not there." She then straddled him and told him she was devoted to him. "I love you, Clark."
The next morning, Clark told his mother about Chloe's lovesick behavior. Martha asked if he felt the same and he said no, that he's still hung up on Lana and wondered if he always would be. Talk about someone who needs anvils dropped on his head. "Oh, sweetheart," Martha said. "There's somebody out there for you."
On a smart show, they would have clipped to Lois, but this is Smallville and we segued into a father-son talk about getting respect on the football field, so let's move on.
Lana, who showed up at practice due to Jason's devoted behest, was approached by Clark. "Lana? What are you doing here?"
"I heard that Clark Kent was our new starting quarterback. I had to see it for myself," she lied.
"Really? You came out here to watch me practice?"
Lana lowered her head.
"It means a lot."
Jealous Teague told Clark to join the game, but then Lois arrived. "What did you do to my cousin? She's freaking me out."
Clark explained that Chloe was the one coming on to him, but then words weren't really necessary. Chloe came flouncing out in a cheerleader outfit she found in a storage locker to cheer on her "favorite quarterback."
Clark asked Lois to keep Chloe away from him. "With what?" Lois asked. "A tranquilizer gun?"
I'm not sure if this scene was meant to be funny or sad, but I opted for sadly funny. Teague, still jealously devoted, told the players he had been taking it too easy on Kent and they should get rough with him. Clark, however, drank some of the Kryptonite Kool-Aid and it made him sick and took away his powers.
As Clark was trampled, pummeled, smacked and otherwise turned into hamburger, Chloe, a one-girl cheering section, shouted things like, "it's not that bad! Shake it off! Go, Clark! Give me a K! Give me an E! Ow! Keep goin', baby! Let's hear it for the number one quarterback! Oh ... ow, it's okay! It's just a bruise!"
The whole time this really loud annoying rock music was playing and it was hard to really hear Chloe, that's why I couldn't decide if it was sad or funny.
As if things didn't suck enough for Clark, Teague showed up and started beating Clark up and accused him of trying to steal his girlfriend. Lex showed up and rescued Clark and Teague ran away. This almost qualifies as an old "hurt-comfort" type scene from fanfic. One character goes through hell of some kind and then the love interest shows up to nurse him back to health. It's most common in slash fic (same sex love interests).
Clark asked Lex why he showed up. Lex handed him a folder and said that it was every file he ever kept on Clark. Clark asked, "If this friendship was so important, why did you lie to me for so long?"
Don't the writers see the hypocrisy in a line like that? Clark has lied to Lex from the beginning, too. He can't claim the moral higher ground here.
Lex explained that his dark side is something he can't always control, but that their friendship helped keep it at bay. He said Clark reminded him that there are still good people in the world. This is sad because in many ways Lex has always been a better friend to Clark than Clark has been to him.
Clark went to the high school after dark and ran into Lois, who was also roaming the hallways in the dark. Who is in charge of locking the school? Trump should make a cameo just to say "You're fired!"
Lois told Clark about the love molecule spiked drink. She noticed that Clark had also taken a drink of the spiked juice and wondered why he hadn't "gone all love slave." Sound familiar? Like Lois knowing Clark had been sprayed by the pheromone perfume, but seemed unaffected.
Lois suggested that she and Clark go to Mandy's pool party and see if there was a way to reverse the effects of the drink. Actually, all they'd really have to do is take the drink to the cops and have it analyzed and arrest the cheerleaders, because the potion wore off anyway. But, I digress ...
This scene was actually funny. Lois launched Clark at Mandy to distract her so that Lois could retrieve her notebook. Clark, almost like a maiden in the clutches of a lecherous villain, looked back at Lois anxiously as Mandy began dragging him into the back room.
Lois followed and coached Clark from the shadows. Mandy asked Clark, "Since you like me so much, what will you do for me?"
"I'll ... buy you dinner?"
She kissed him and he looked at Lois, who shook her head.
"Cook! I'll cook you dinner."
Lois nodded.
"Oh, that's so hot!" Mandy said and began kissing Clark more vigorously.
Lois signaled for him to get the bag. Clark removed it from Mandy's shoulder and tossed it on the floor. Just as Lois got near it, Mandy decided to move to the desk Lois was hiding under. She had picked up her bag again, but Clark removed it again and then dropped it. Unfortunately it hit Lois. "Ow."
"What?" Mandy asked.
"Uh ... Oh ... Oooh."
Lois, finally in possession of the bag, snuck out of the room ... only to be attacked by Chloe.
Chloe conveniently attacked Lois in the boiler room. I say conveniently because it turns out that heat dispels the spell of the love potion. Armed with the information, Lois and Chloe rescued Clark from Manhandling Mandy.
"I can't believe you used chemicals to control your boyfriends," Lois said.
"I was tired of coming in a distant second to a football."
"So you turned them into a bunch of psycho nutjobs," Lois said, then turned to Chloe. "No offense."
"None taken."
As Lois and Chloe explained about heat being the cure, Mandy brought in reinforcements. Clark said "Let's get out of here," but Lois said, "bring it on," and kicked the bat-wielding guy in the stomach and asked Clark if he had any explosions up his sleeves. Clark used heat vision on the steam pipe and the problem was solved.
"What the hell was that?" Lois asked.
"I guess the pipe must have broken ... or something," Clark replied. "Pretty lucky, huh?"
Lois told him he better have that kind of luck on the football field during the game. I'm not sure why Lois stayed to fight, or why she would ask Clark if he had any explosions up his sleeve, but sometimes they act as though Lois suspects something.
Clark went to visit Lex, who showed Clark he had taken out everything in his former Clark shrine room. All that was left was a crushed and compacted version of the Porsche Lex had run into Clark with ... literally.
"Look," Lex said. "I'm willing to give this friendship another shot, if you are."
"In the spirit of friendship," Clark said, "I was wondering if you could help me with a problem."
"Absolutely. What is it?"
"Well, it's a who. Lois Lane."
This scene also bothered me. Right off the bat Clark wanted a favor from Lex. Oh, well, Clark is a hussy.
The big game arrived. Clark's parents were watching. His girlfriends were watching. His boyfriend was watching. Lex in a plain white t-shirt? Lois wore one of Clark's shirts. Chloe wore one of Clark's shirts. Is Lex following the trend?
Clark faded back and threw a 60 yard touchdown pass and Smallville won the game and Clark won the respect of his team. He was a hero. At least the football variety.
I admit I'm conflicted about this scene like Georgia mentioned on the channel the other night. Did Clark cheat? Does a 60 yard pass take super powers for a high school quarterback? No, it's not even close to records set that have surpassed 80 and 90 yards. It also hinged on the receiver catching the pass. If he couldn't do it, then it didn't matter how far or how well Clark threw the ball. However, if Clark makes a habit of flawless plays, there's a problem. Yet, it's not really out of canon. In the comics Pa Kent was upset that Clark was practically winning games single-handedly.
Chloe approached Clark at the end of the game and said he'd be some kind of "superhero" at the school. Then she said, "Since I'm no good at ignoring 500 pound elephants, I'm really sorry that I made things so ridiculously awkward between us."
A '500' pound elephant? Even horses weigh more than that. Even if she meant 5000 pounds, Elephants weight more than twice that much. I know this is a weird nitpick, but I expected her to say 500 pound canary. Now *that* would be hard to ignore. Uh, anyway, Chloe said she wished she could blame her weird behavior on the green juice, but believed she still had romantic feelings for Clark. He told her he wished he felt the same way, but didn't. "At least not right now."
Chloe said she understood, but hoped they could still be friends now that he's the big man on campus.
"I'm hoping my editor will keep me in line. I'm gonna make time for the Torch."
"Wow, a superhero and a journalist. What are the odds?"
Please put on your hardhats, this is a heavy foreshadowing zone.
Lois greeted Clark with, "If you break her heart, I'll come back and break your legs."
Notice Lois in the yellow blouse and Clark in blue and red. I'd like to think it means together they represent Superman, but I won't get my color cue hopes up.
"What do you mean 'come back'?"
"Apparently the dean got a call from a very prominent benefactor with the initials L.L. They did the white man power dance and SHAZAM (word used by Billy Batson in the comics to transform into Captain Marvel), I'm officially a freshman."
"Wow, that's great."
"Oh, don't pretend you had nothing to do with it. Why would Lex call out of the blue on my behalf?"
"Look, the important thing is you got in and you're leaving," he said, but turned and faced Lois. "Because that's what you wanted ... right?"
Lois said she missed the normalcy of the big city. "But don't worry, I'll visit."
"Is that a promise or a threat?"
Lois punched Clark in the arm. "See ya around, Smallville."
So ends another adventure in twisted Mayberry.
Lois won't be in the next few episodes. In fact, she was originally only scheduled to be in these first four and that's all. Somewhere along the line she was boosted to 13 episodes, but I don't know what will prompt her return.
Will Clark retain his new found sense of humor with Lois gone, or is it only there when Lois is there? I guess we'll find out next week when he meets the fastest thing on two feet. No, not the Streak, the Flash, or is it Kid Flash, or is it Impulse? Is it important? Not to me, pal.
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