NEXT ON SMALLVILLE
7x20 Artic - May 15, 2008 8/7c
LEX DISCOVERS CLARK'S SECRET — Kara (Laura Vandervoort) tells Lex (Michael Rosenbaum) he is destined to defeat the Traveler and offers to take him to the Fortress to learn how. Clark (Tom Welling) is stunned that Kara would go to Lex but it is revealed that Brainiac is impersonating Kara and she's actually trapped in the Phantom Zone. Chloe is arrested by the Department of Domestic Security and Lana awakens from her comatose state. Meanwhile, in an epic turn of events, Clark and Lex face off in the Fortress and Lex learns Clark's secret. Erica Durance and Aaron Ashmore also star.

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BANTER LOG
Lois: I'm glad to see we've moved beyond the "clothing optional" stage of our relationship. I'm surprised you even remember who I am.
Clark: Chloe's cousin. Nicorette addiction, can't stand uncomfortable silences.
{ All Quotes }
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BANTERING QUOTES

Episode: Crusade

Lois: You've just been hit by lightning, you're stark naked, and, uh, you don't even remember your own name. You have a fairly loose definition of "fine."

Lois: [Still holding onto Clark's arm, she walks him down the hall.] Do you know how many people are struck by lightning every year? Hardly any. You know how many survive? Even less. And the number who get picked up by lost drivers? Zero. So far, you're three for three, so how about a little less complaining and a little more forward motion.

Clark: You talk a lot.
Lois: Well, I'm just not very comfortable with uncomfortable silence, and you're not exactly keeping up with your end of the conversation.

Lois: [To Martha.] Don't take it personally. He doesn't even remember his own name. [Lois shakes Martha's hand.] Lois Lane. I found him lying in a field near Route 31.
Martha: Thank you for helping him.
Lois: I guess I'm a sucker for stray dogs and naked guys. Okay, that didn't come out right. It's been a long night, and I am nicotine deprived.

Lois: Yeah. [Lois goes back to pour more coffee.] Were she and Clark ever an item?
Martha: Oh, I think for a minute, but--
Lois: It's funny, I never thought she'd fall for the farm boy type.
Martha: Trust me, that can happen to the best of us.
Lois: Not me. Give me a nerd with glasses any day of the week.
Martha: Clark has many sides.
Lois: Yeah, I've seen several of them already.

Lois: I hate myself for being weak. I just knew that the moment I came here, it would make it real. I promise I'll find out who did this to you. Even if I have to do it alone.
Clark: [From behind Lois.] You're not alone.
Lois turns around, annoyed, to see Clark holding a bunch of flowers.
Lois: A fact you could've shared before you were breathing down my neck.

Lois: I'm glad to see we've moved beyond the "clothing optional" stage of our relationship. I'm surprised you even remember who I am.
Clark: Chloe's cousin. [He walks toward her.] Nicorette addiction, can't stand uncomfortable silences.

Lois: I'm just the only one doing something about it.
Clark: I get the feeling you like to do things yourself.
Lois: My dad raised me to be independent and self-sufficient.
Clark: [Slightly stinging, but friendly.] That would be one way to describe you.

Clark: [Smiles.] Look, why don't you let me help you find out who did this to Chloe? Come on, you can stay at our house while you're in town. [Lois hesitates.] It beats living out of your car.
Lois: [Accepting.] Thanks. But you should know I don't pay attention to curfews and I never make my bed. I'll give you some time alone.

Episode: Gone

Lois: Okay, Commando, I don't get you. Half the time, you're all meek "Yes, Ma" and "Yes, Pa", and the other half, you are the most overconfident guy I've ever met.
Clark: It doesn't happen to you much, does it? Not being able to peg someone right away?
Lois: Oh, get over yourself. You are not that complicated.

Lois: Nothing like a little North by Northwest action to get the blood pumping, huh?
Clark: [Embarrassed.] Um... we usually take turns in the bathroom.
Lois: Oh, don't start with me, Smallville. You're the one taking the marathon shower. [Pulling a brush through her hair.] Besides, my delicate feminine sensibilities weren't offended the first time I got a glimpse of, uh, Clark Junior.

Lois: I don't understand what the big deal is here. We just took a shower.
Clark: [Emphasizing the plural.] Showers. We took separate showers.

Lois: Your non-verbals are killing me, and this seems like it's a family matter, so... I'm just gonna get out of the way.

Clark: You're back from Paris. You must've found what you were looking for.
Lois: [Cutting in.] I'll say! Who wouldn't want a hot summer fling in the most romantic city on Earth?
Lana glances at Lois then at Clark, embarrassed. Clark looks at Lana questioningly.
Lana: [To Clark.] I was going to tell you.
Clark: [Hurt.] It's okay.
Lois looks at them both, catching on.
Lois: Really? You two?
Clark: We never...
Lana: Not really.
Clark: ...had a thing.
Lana: It's complicated.
Lois: [She has heard enough.] A complicated thing. Never mind.

Lois: The awkward tension's just getting started. I really crashed and burned on that one.
Clark: Must be a daily ritual for you.
Lois: Only when I'm barreling into a train wreck.

Lois: Wow, she didn't take any prisoners, did she? [Clark doesn't understand.] Lana? Cute, smart, gutsy... and way too much for you to handle. I can see why you're in love with her.

Clark: [Turning to look at Lois.] I just don't understand how you could feel like you know someone so completely, like you know everything about them, and then just all of a sudden...
Lois: You don't even know what continent they're on.
Clark: [Frustrated.] Do you always have to finish people's thoughts?
Lois: Well, am I right?

Clark: Considering your father has a yard full of tanks out there, I don't think you should be in his office rifling through his files.
Lois: That didn't seem to slow you down any. I gotta say I'm impressed, Smallville, that you could sneak on a military base undetected.

Lois: Chloe always told me this town was weird. I don't know how you ever survived without me.

Lana: You and Lois.
Clark: Lois?
Clark: She's bossy. She's stuck up, she's rude. I can't stand her.
Lana: The best ones always start that way.

Episode: Facade

Clark: That wouldn't be the reason. Thanks, I don't really consider myself a geek.
Lois: So... what do you see yourself as?
Clark: I don't know. An outsider, I guess.
Lois: [She laughs.] That's a recipe for wedgies if I've ever heard one.

Sam: Not to worry, though. I'm sure that Clark will be happy to show you around.
Clark & Lois: [Worried.] Around where?
Sam: Bright and early tomorrow morning. [He turns back to them.] You start Smallville High.

Clark: Hey, hey! The last time I checked, you were missing a few prerequisites for being in here.
Lois: [Smug.] So you have been checking me out.

Clark: Come on, Lois! Didn't those guys on the base teach you anything?
Lois: Wouldn't you like to know? Doesn't matter 'cause you are going down.
Clark: That'll be the day.

Episode: Devoted

Clark: You know... [Lois stops walking.] If you spent as much time studying as you did trying to leave, you'd be in college already.
Lois: [Turning to face him.] And where'd you get that pearl of wisdom, the Farmer's Almanac?

Lois: I'm glad you made the team, Clark, but why be a conformist? At least with the whole farm boy plaid thing, as lame as it is, it completely belongs to you.
Clark: [Annoyed.] In the future, let's restrict our conversations to "hello" and "goodbye."

Lois: Oh, my God. She's taken the fast train to Stepford.
Clark: I need you to keep her away from me.
Lois: With what? A tranquilizer gun?

Clark: I'm looking for Coach Teague. He just attacked me in my loft.
Lois: After that performance on the field today, I'm not surprised. I'm kidding.

Lois: Wait a minute. You drank some of it, too. I saw you. How come you're not going all love slave?
Clark: [Pause.] I don't know. What's your point?
Lois: That science report's in Mandy's faux Prada bag. Presumably it can tell us how to reverse this, right? And presumably, you're infected. [Clark thinks about this. Lois becomes teasingly flirtatious.] The cheerleaders are having a pool party tonight. How do you look in a swimsuit, Clark?

Lois: [Blaming.] Oh, nice, Clark. You know, you only had one thing to do.
Clark: Me? You're closer to the door.
Lois: Okay, so it's automatically my fault?

Lois: Yeah? What are you gonna do, cheer us to death? Oh, great. Herecomes the love squad.

Lois: Okay, what the hell was that?
Clark: I guess the pipe must've broken or something. Pretty lucky, huh?
Lois: Yeah. You better hope for that kind of luck tomorrow on the field.

Lex: Look, I'm willing to give this friendship another shot if you are.
Clark: In the spirit of friendship, I was wondering if you could help me with a problem.
Lex: Absolutely. What is it?
Clark: Well, it's a who. Lois Lane.

Lois: If you break her heart, I'll come back and I'll break your legs.
Clark: What do you mean come back?
Lois: Apparently the dean got a call from a very prominent benefactor with the initials L.L. They did the white man power dance and shazam. I'm officially a freshman.

Clark: Look, the important thing is you got in and you're leaving. [Realizing that sounded rude.] Because that's what you wanted, right?
Lois: Yeah, yeah, don't get all broken up about it. You know, if I could describe my time here in one word, it would be "weird." I look
forward to the relative normalcy of the big city. [Clark nods.] But don't worry. I'll visit.
Clark: Is that a promise or a threat?
Lois: See you around... Smallville.

#4.08 Spell

Clark: Hey, Lois. What are you doing here? Why aren't you at school?
Lois: We're having a surprise party for Chloe's 18th birthday in your barn, remember?
Clark: No. I remember telling you you couldn't have it here.
Lois: [Handing the box to Clark] Too late now. Everyone's already been invited, and you really don't want it getting back to Chloe that you rained on her shindig. That would hurt her feelings.
Clark: [Incredulous] What?
Lois: Then I'd have to hurt you.
Clark: Listen, Lois, I don't want--
Lois: Can you give me a hand with these? I have to get the wheels back to my dad before he notices them missing.
Clark: Lois, we can't do this tonight. The guy from Princeton's coming to meet me. Besides, my parents are out of town.
Lois: Relax, Smallville. It's just gonna be a couple of people standing around singing Happy Birthday. It's not gonna be Sodom and Gomorrah. Mr. Ivy League won't even know we're here. Trust me.

Clark: The guy from Princeton's gonna be here any minute. Why are you so late?
Lois: I took the scenic route. [Looking Clark up and down lustfully] Love the view.
Clark: [Uncomfortable] Have you been drinking?

#4.12 Pariah

Lois: First he married the girl, now he's dating her?

Lois: So, have they arrested your arm ornament yet?
Clark: [Confused] What?

Lois: [Disbelieving] And did she also happen to be wearing anything low-cut when she spun you that tale, ‘cause I'm not sure you're thinking with you “big” brain here.

#4.13 Recruit

Clark: You were drinking, right?
Lois: Those days are over. No more alcohol. And that includes cough syrup and rum cakes.

Clark: Lois, what are you doing here?
Lois: I could ask you the same question, but it seems fairly obvious, hef.

Clark: [To Geoff] I'm sorry. She's under a lot of stress lately.
Lois: No. Stress is when you're stuck in traffic or you have a midterm for a class you've never been to. I'm out on bail and looking to be locked up for manslaughter.

Geoff: I can't tell you how to pick your friends, Clark, but that chick seems like trouble.
Clark: I'm starting to figure that out.

Clark: Lois! Lois! Lois. [Holding her close to him] Lois, can you hear me? Lois?
Lois: [Faintly] Clark.
Clark: It's okay. You're gonna be okay.

Lois: Knock, knock. [Clark turns around] You should think about putting up a door or something. I don't know, maybe it's a city thing, but where I come from, we like to have a little privacy.
Clark: [Smiling] Lois, who would've thought I'd be relieved to hear your voice?
Lois: Look, Clark, I don't know how you did it, but if it weren't for you, I'd be at the bottom of the Mississippi right about now. Thanks.
Clark: I'm just glad you're okay and going back to school.
Lois: That's not exactly true. I kind of got punted out of the university.
Clark: I thought you were cleared of all charges.
Lois: Oh, I was but... See, the thing is, I am still busted for the booze, and well... that wasn't the first time I've been invited to the disciplinary board's kangaroo court.
Clark: Why am I not surprised? You heading to the barracks?
Lois: Not an option. My dad's trying out the tough love approach with an emphasis on “tough.”
Clark: So what're you gonna do? Are you gonna go stay with Chloe?
Lois: They've got a tiny one-bedroom apartment. I can't do that to them. It's fine, really, I'm just gonna check into a motel and when the money runs out, I can always sleep in my car. The backseat's not too bad if you bend your knees and avoid the drive train and--
Clark: Lois--
Lois: And then, you know, if I have to sell my car for food, that's okay too. I've always dreamed of being a hobo, riding the rails, cooking beans over roadside fires...
Clark: [Pause] If you want, I guess you can stay with us.
Lois: You're a lifesaver! God, am I in need of a hot shower! Don't worry, Smallville. I'll try to keep it under a half hour.
Clark: What just happened?

#4.14 Krypto

Lois: Actually, I kind of... hit him.
Clark: You hit him? With your car?
Lois: [Sarcastic] No, with my fist.

Chloe: She's bringing home strays now, huh? [Chloe gets back to her feet] How is the new tenant?
Clark: Lois? Well, she, uh, re-recorded our answering machine, uses all the hot water, oh, and she took over my bedroom. She's doing great.

Clark: Just playing with Skippy here.
Lois: We're not gonna call him Skippy.
Clark: Okay, Lois, what would you like to call him?
Lois: Let's see. He's annoying, and I can't seem to get within ten feet of him without getting sick... I think we should call him Clarkie. [To Einstein] Come here, Clarkie! Come here, boy!

Clark: We found this dog.
Lois: Actually, uh, I found him. Well, hit him actually. [Zack looks at Einstein, concerned] Not hard. We call him Clarkie.
Clark: [Annoyed] We don't call him Clarkie.
Lois: Is it the “ie” part you don't like? Because we could always just make it Clark. But then that would get really confusing, and hey, maybe you should consider changing your name. You could be Skipper.

Lois: Hold on there, Forrest Gump. What are you gonna do, run? We brought my car, remember?

Clark: You know, can you go a little bit faster?
Lois: Hey, you were gonna be hoofing it about ten minutes ago. Besides, I don't want to hit anything.

Clark: Wait, turn left, turn left.
Lois: Why?
Clark: Just do it!
Lois: What is this, another one of your famous hunches, or are we just on a little scenic route here?

Lois: I thought bathing him was supposed to help with my allergies.
Clark: [Teasing] Well, maybe you're allergic to the soap too.
Lois: Maybe I'm allergic to you.

Lois: So, what are we gonna call him? And don't give me any of this Skipper crap. Clark: I was thinking we could call him Krypto.
Lois: Why, because he's so cryptic like you? I don't think so.
Clark: Why not?
Lois: Because I think it's dumb. You can call your next dog Krypto.

#4.16 Lucy

Clark: Lois, what's going on?
Lois: What do you mean?
Clark: You made us breakfast, you're offering to do chores. You want something.
Lois: No. It's called being nice.
Clark: Yeah, well, if you were any nicer, we'd starve.

Lois: Um... meet my sister Lucy. She was kind of hoping she could crash here for a couple days.
Lucy: I know it's last minute, but I had this school break, and I'm willing to sleep in the barn.
Clark: No, that's okay. Lois can sleep in the barn.

Clark: So, Lucy, Lois has told us absolutely nothing about you.
Lucy: Well there's not much to tell.
Lois: Oh, please. Let me gloat. She is getting straight A's at one of the most prestigious prep schools in Europe, she is fluent in three languages, and she is fending off Ivy League colleges with a stick.
Clark: [To Lucy] Wow, that's impressive. What happened to Lois?
Lois: [To Lucy] You're gonna find that Clark's charm is an acquired taste, much like his sense of fashion.
Lucy: Well, thanks for letting me stay. I don't know how I'm going to repay you.
Clark: Well, just tell me plenty of embarrassing stories about Lois.
Lois: [Laughs] Funny guy. [Lois punches Clark in the chest roughly]

[Clark smiles as Lucy leaves the barn. Lois laughs sarcastically]
Lois: Don't let all that flirting go to your head. She goes to an all-girls school. You're probably the first guy she's talked to in a couple months.
Clark: Lois, I don't want you to get the wrong idea, but ever since Lucy came to town you've been grumpier than normal. Are you not happy to see your sister?
Lois: Of course I am. Look, there's a thing with sisters. You can love them without really liking them.
Clark: You don't like your own sister?
Lois: More like she's not very crazy about me, not that I blame her.
Clark: Yeah, well, look, you might be a little rough around the edges, but as far as sisters go, Lucy could do a lot worse.
Lois: Um, thanks for the ringing endorsement. When my mother died, my dad had two girls he didn't know how to deal with. So he did what every good military leader would do. He instituted a chain of command, and I reported to him--
Clark: Lucy reported to you.
Lois: Yeah. It takes sibling rivalry to a whole new level. I had to make sure she had three square meals, got to school, did her homework.
Clark: You became her mother.
Lois: Yeah, except I was not prepared. I used to give her advice like, you know, don't kiss a boy or you're gonna get pregnant. And, yeah, maybe she had a few more chores than most kids.
Clark: Is that why she decided to go to boarding school?
Lois: Oh, unlike your family, there was no discussion. When the general gives an order, you're expected to carry it out.
Clark: Whoa, sounds kind of harsh.
Lois: Trust me. Lucy got the better end of the deal. I mean, don't get me wrong. She totally deserves it. But I guess there was just a part of me that was always jealous she got out and I didn't.

Lex: [To Clark] Two Lanes under one roof. That's got to be interesting.
Clark: Well, I haven't had a hot shower in two days, and the laundry machine is running nonstop. The phone line is consistently busy. No, it's nice having them around. I mean, it kind of takes the loneliness out of the house.

Chloe: Whoa! Is that Lois with a tray? Hey, cuz!
Clark: Yes, it is. It's kind of like a free floor show.

Clark: I thought you said that telescopes were for geeks and stalkers.
Lois: Yeah, well, as was proven over the last few days, I can seriously misjudge people. [ Clark nods] You know, if you've come to kick me off the farm, I completely understand.
Clark: Yeah, um, actually I came here to tell you we have food in the oven if you're hungry.
Lois: [Quickly] Thanks.
Clark: How you holding up?
Lois: I just got off the phone with the general.
Clark: Oh, that was all the screaming I heard from the house.
Lois: Yeah. Well, apparently, he is very disappointed in me for letting this happen, and as far as my family chain of command goes, I am the weakest link.
Clark: [Genuine] I'm sorry.
Lois: Don't be. You know, there's something cathartic about telling a three-star general to go to hell. Uh, you know, all these years, I thought I had my sister pegged. But, uh, in reality she's a complete stranger to me. [She turns back to Clark]
Clark: Even if that were true, I think that if she called you tomorrow, you'd be there in a second to help her.
Lois: Yeah, I would. She's my sister.
Clark: I don't think Lucy's all that bad.
Lois: You're amazing, Smallville. You always look for the best in people even when they walk all over you.
Clark: I guess that explains why we're friends.
Lois: Oh, we're friends now?
Clark: Well, I won't tell anyone if you don't.

#4.18 Spirit

Martha: [To Clark] So, this is your little secret. You're taking her to the Prom, aren't you?
Clark: [He snorts] Lois?
Lois: Mrs. Kent, a lot of things are possible in this world, but there will be a man on Mars before Clark and I go to Prom together.
Martha: So what, you two just get together and mack, but keep it on the down-low in public?
Clark: [Embarrassed] Mom!
Lois: I don't mean to be rude, Mrs. Kent, but, uh, did you crack open the cooking sherry?
Martha: Of course not! I'm just super-pumped about Prom.

Lois: [Smiling] How do I look?
Clark: [Unsure] Looks like you're going to the Prom.
Lois: I am. [She comes down the stairs] And you're taking me! I'm not going to let you sit around moping all night while your parents go out and do the electric boogaloo all night. It's gonna be fun.
Clark: [Shaking his head] No, I'm not going.
Lois: Massive re-strategy. You're going to your senior Prom whether you like it or not. End of discussion. Put on your tux.
Clark: Lois, wasn't this not in the realm of possibilities?
Lois: Anything is possible, Clark. Anything.

Lois: [Ecstatic] Isn't this amazing? Oh, aren't you so glad you came, Clark? We are gonna have so much fun!
Clark: Okay, Lois, you got me here. You can stop laying it on.
Lois: I'm gonna go get some punch.

Lois: Clark! Clark! It's called an escort for a reason.

Lois: What the hell am I doing in a dress, and what the hell am I doing at your Prom?
Clark: [ Realizing. ] Oh, no.
Lois: Did you pin that on me?
Clark: I'll explain later, Lois.
Lois: A little close to the boob, don't you think?

Lois: [To Clark] Okay, Smallville. I clicked my heels together three times and nothing happened. Better tell me what's going on.

Clark: Listen, Lois—
Lois: Your parents filled me in. Apparently some girl named Dawn was possessing me.
Clark: Yeah, well, that's the short version.
Lois: Yeah, well, that's the last time I'll ever do my hair.
Clark: Look, I'm sorry you got pulled into all of this.
Lois: Don't worry about it. I never quite made it to my senior Prom. But the punch could use a little kick.
Clark: You know, I was thinking since you did get all dressed up and you came here with me... you should at least get a dance out of it.
Lois: Chivalry noted, but I'm not the one you want to dance with, Clark. She is.

Lois: You're headed for Metropolis. You are destined to be a big shot reporter at the Daily Planet. Do you really picture Clark Kent being able to keep up with you?
[Chloe thinks about it for a moment]
Chloe: You know, Lois, I think Clark might have a lot more to offer than you realize.
Lois: I wouldn't bet on it.

#4.19 Blank

Chloe: Well, not so much. He has amnesia, and he’s having a hard time—
Lois: Again?
Clark: What do you mean again?
Lois: Well, at least this time you got clothes on.

Lois: Yeah, just leave Mr. Memory Reboot to me. I’m getting to be a pro at this. [To Clark] But you know what? You’re gonna have to put up with PB and J because that’s the extent of my culinary skills.

Lois: Looks like one more thing you don’t remember. You usually hide all those emotions. I came to ask if you were doing okay. But it looks like I got my answer.
Clark: My life is a complete void. How would you feel?
Lois: Oh, pity party. These are fun.
Clark: Look, Chloe’s very protective of me. I guess there’s a lot of people that I can’t trust.
Lois: And you can’t tell who they are. Look, you may not remember all the players on the board, but you can still play the game.
Clark: Are you gonna tell me how I’m supposed to do that?
Lois: Trust your gut. Like, what’s it say about me?
Clark: [He smiles] We don’t like each other very much.
Lois: [Nods] You’re on the right track. Keep it up, Smallville.

Lois: I guess I shouldn’t call you Smallville anymore.

#4.21 Forever

Lois: I'm impressed, Smallville. Of all the seniors skipping the last day of school, I didn't expect to see you.
Clark: I'm on lunch break.
Lois: Right, right. Because why would you do anything like any other normal teenager in America?

Lois: How cliche, an abandoned warehouse.
Clark: You know maybe there's another way in around the corner. Why don't you go check? I'll see if I can find a key for this lock.
Lois: [Doubtful] Keys? Well, I highly doubt they're under the welcome mat, but, uh, you knock yourself out.

#4.22 Commencement

Lois: Nightmare? So that's what all this commotion is about?
Jonathan: Lois.
Lois: [To Clark] You know, if it makes you feel any better, I have them all the time. I had this one last week. Really scary. [She takes a pitcher out of the fridge] This, uh, guy wearing a red cape.
Clark: [Unimpressed] Oh, that sounds horrible, Lois.

Lois: Yeah. There's something I wanted to tell all you guys. I just didn't know when to, so I guess 2 in the morning is good a time as any.
Martha: What is it, Lois?
Lois: Oh, The general recruited me on a recon mission to track down my sister the grifter in Europe. So, we're headed for Heidelberg tomorrow.
Martha: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
[Clark tries to cover his delight]
Lois: Clark, I know how devastated you must be but if you could just keep your tears to a minimum, I'd appreciate it.
Clark: I'll try.
Lois: Thanks. Mr. and Mrs. Kent, I just wanted to say thanks for everything. You guys are like the mom and dad I've always wanted to have.
Jonathan: Lois, we want you to know that you are welcome back here any time.
Clark: [Protesting] Actually--
Martha: We'll all miss you, Lois.
Lois: I'll miss you all, too.

Lois: I realize hand-eye coordination isn't one of your strong suits. Here, let me help you with that.
Clark: [Annoyed] Lois, I'm not sure what I'm gonna do without you.
Lois: Ah, come on, Clark, your future is laid out right in front of you. You're gonna go to community college, major in agriculture, probably minor in law enforcement. And then you and Lana are gonna have a nice little church wedding.
Clark: Excuse me?
Lois: It's written in the stars and you know it. It's only a matter of time before you join the bowling league, take over the family farm, and then, well, you and Lana can bring little Clark junior into the world.
Clark: I think you're hallucinating.
Lois: No. Hallucinating would be imagining Clark Kent going off to the big city to make his mark in the world. I'm just being realistic.
Clark: Lois, what are your big plans after Europe? You gonna go back to school? Maybe actually stay a little while?
Lois: I have a feeling that if I'm gonna get an education, it's gonna be in the real world. [She sits down on the couch] You know, I took this career test in some magazine. It said that my perfect job would be a radio disc jockey.
Clark: That makes sense. You talk enough. There won't be any dead air.
Lois: You mock me now Smallville, but you just wait and see.
Clark: Journalism. You ever thought about that? You wrote some half decent articles in your short lived career at the Torch.
Lois: Nah, kill me first. Even if I could spell, the last thing I'd wanna do is spend my time in a newsroom. With my luck I'd probably end up across the desk from the most bumbling reporter on the masthead.
Lois: You know what? You actually look handsome for a change.
Clark: I'll take that as a compliment.
Lois: Look, I know we've had our disagreements in the past. And I will be the first to admit that I've made it my own little hobby to bust your chops.
Clark: I'm used to it. Besides, I know I haven't been the most gracious host.
Lois: Look, I just want you to know, Clark, that when I'm sitting in the audience today at your graduation and you stand up on that stage in front of all those people, I'm gonna be looking up at you and thinking one thing.
Clark: What's that?
Lois: Please, God, don't let him trip. [She punches him in the chest] See you.

Lois: Thanks for the tip. Now listen to me, Smallville, if there's one thing that the General has taught me is that you cannot panic in times of crisis. Do you hear me? Okay, whatever happens, you have to stay calm. You cannot panic.
Clark: Lois--
Lois: [Becoming frantic] Because if you lose your cool--
Clark: Lois!
Lois: What?
Clark: You're panicking.
Lois: Fine.

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